It's never that simple
by Today.Is.Life
Summary: Gabriela Dawson moves back home to Chicago after four years into her old friends' apartment, Kelly and Shay, along with the fourth roommate, Matthew Casey. Both are looking for fun and no relationships, so when they come to hate each other they think that feelings won't get in the way, right? But this is reality and it's never that simple. Rating M for sexual scenes & curse words.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys!**

**I'm back quicker than I thought but I just needed to start this story! I really like this first chapter so I hope you do too!**

**I'll be updating every two to three days and I hope that you enjoy this new story. It's been in my head for a while and I just can't wait for you all to enjoy it with me!**

**Here's to the first chapter!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

The closer I was getting to Chicago and the further away I was getting from Denver the more content I felt. It was like I could breathe better as the miles went on and I felt calmer as I neared the windy city. My home.

Don't get me wrong, Denver is a wonderful city and I knew I would have loved it there, if it wasn't for the circumstances I ended up in.

Four years had passed since I'd moved away from Chicago; years of pain and hurt causing me to move away… _run away. _But now it was time to come home, _or run from Denver. Run from Ray. _

I know that it would be hard settling back in the city I once loved more than anything, the place I felt safest, the place that was still home after years of avoidance. But no matter how hard it would be, I was glad that I was coming home. Years ago I'd taken my EMT test in Chicago, so I was quickly accepted into Fire Department and I'd be bouncing from house to house until they could find me a permanent PIC spot, a qualification I'd gained in Denver. Settling into work would be easy, finally confronting the demons I'd left here would be the hardest. If I would do so at all.

Antonio was glad I was coming home, although he didn't know why. I hadn't told him, hadn't told anyone and I wasn't planning to. I needed a new start. I couldn't bring my troubles from Denver with me.

In the week I'd spent in Denver knowing I was moving back to Chicago I'd been searching for an apartment, but the effort was fruitless. I'd found no apartment small enough for me, affordable or close to the main roads so I could commute to work all over the city. I was expecting to be bouncing for a while, so I needed to be able to get around quickly.

Thankfully, when I informed Shay, my best friend who was ecstatic that I was coming home, she eagerly told me that they were looking for a new roommate after the last one just moved out. Her and Kelly were living in a four bedroom apartment with another guy and needed to fill the empty room to cover the rent. Happy that the rent was affordable and the apartment was in a good place, I told her I'd move in.

I'd known Kelly and Shay since I was 16 and in highschool. They were seniors at the time and after…_that _happened they took me under their wing. I was in need of a few friends and they became the two people I needed in my life, they'd saved me. Shay understood how I felt, she'd suffered at the hands of others for a while after coming out as a lesbian and Kelly helped her. Kelly should have been your typical jock, but he wasn't. He hated the conformities of school and the students who looked down on others, he was different and he stood up for those who couldn't do it for themselves. He was my quiet hero in that respect.

When they left for college I struggled but quickly found my footing on my own after their help, and they hung out with me whenever possible. They both went to college for two years before training to be an EMT and firefighter respectively, and they both landed at the same house, Firehouse 51.

I'd stayed in Chicago training as an EMT for two years before I left at twenty for Denver. Shay and Kelly took it hard, but I needed to get away. Find myself. That sort of stupid stuff. I ran.

I tried to see Shay and Kelly as much as possible, but the last time I'd been in Chicago was a year ago and they were living in a smaller apartment at the time, so I had yet to meet the guy they shared with. Shay and Kelly usually came to visit me in Denver when they could, but it had been three months since I'd seen them last.

The other guy they shared an apartment with they had known in their three years at 51. Kelly knew him from the academy; they were the same age and chose to move in with each other to make the rent easier. Also, I supposed it was nice to be surrounded by friends. Kelly and he, Matt I think his name was, were best friends, so I hoped that we'd get along if Kelly liked him.

The trip from Denver, Colorado, to Chicago was fifteen hours long, so yesterday I drove for 8 hours and then stopped in a b&b in Omaha before setting off for a 7 hour drive today. I was about an hour away from Shay's apartment and it was nearing 5 o'clock, so I couldn't wait to finally get there and rest.

I was amazed at how much I'd recognised and how little everything had changed as I was driving into Chicago, and it finally felt real that I was home when I saw the signs directing to Chicago. The familiar sites were comforting and the sun setting around Chicago let for some beautiful sites, and I gazed in awe at the city as I drove.

Traffic was crazy as I neared Shay's apartment but I didn't care, I was home and far away from Denver and that was all I cared about. As I moved through the traffic and onto the street of the apartment, I pulled up and took a deep breath.

_Home._

I looked up at the apartment and around the street, it looked nice and if I wasn't mistaken there was a coffee shop at the bottom of the street. I knew Kelly would have made sure that was essential when they were looking for an apartment.

With a tired smile I climbed out of my car and moved around to the trunk. I pulled out the suitcase with my essentials that I'd need for tonight and left everything else inside, that could wait until tomorrow. I locked up my car and headed down the short path to the apartment block. As I reached for the door handle - you need a key after 7 o'clock - a jogger raced out and knocked into me.

I stumbled over my suitcase and fell onto it with a thud. I heard a deep laugh echo from above me.

I looked up at the guy who knocked me over. He was blonde with bright blue eyes, pale skin and pink lips that were contorted up into a grin. With a quick glance I noticed that he was in good shape. Honestly, he was gorgeous but I wouldn't admit that because I was angry and tired and I really didn't appreciate how he found this funny.

He held out a glove covered hand to me and however unenthusiastic it was, I accepted. Blondie easily pulled me to my feet, "You make a habit of running down pedestrians?"

His pearly white grin only widened, "Not often, no."

I bit my tongue and turned to lift my suitcase up, "Hey let me help," he said with a husky voice and he leaned around me to the suitcase. I swatted his hand away, "I've got it."

I hoisted the suitcase into its upright position and notice the guy was still standing beside me, "Haven't you got a run to get on with?" I question sharply, feeling to annoyed that I was run down to be pleasant.

His eyes seemed to shine in the Chicago evening, "I guess so... See ya around," he calls cockily.

"Not likely," I muttered back as he ran off but I was sure I heard a chuckle.

_I've been in Chicago for all but 5 minutes and I've already been knocked down. Welcome home Dawson._

I pulled my suitcase into the elevator and pressed for four. The ride was slow, I just wanted to see Shay and Kelly already. I'd missed them so much. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open to reveal the fourth floor. There were only three apartments on this floor and theirs was the furthest to the right, so I'd been told by Shay. I knock three times and wait.

No more than five seconds later does the door swing open and two wild arms engulf me with their warmth. It was Shay and I eagerly wrapped my arms around her shoulders as she hugged me tightly, "Ohmygosh, you're home!"

"I'm home," I murmur into her shoulder. After enduring another ten seconds of her too-tight hug she pulls me and my suitcase into the apartment. There I see Kelly standing a few feet away, smiling widely and holding his arms out to me. I rush into them and feel him wrap his arms around me as I collide with his hard chest.

"It's great to have you back," Kelly murmurs into my hair as he pats my back.

"I've missed you guys," I answer feeling my eyes well up as I pull away. I wipe my eyes with my sweater as Shay hugs me once more.

"We've missed you too," she says far too loudly in my ear and I wince slightly. Kelly chuckles as he stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

Shay nudges my arm as she pulls away, "Let's get some coffee into you and then we can have a catch up!"

So Shay made coffee as Kelly and I made ourselves comfortable on the sofa. I had to say, their sofa was incredibly comfy and if it wasn't for Shay talking to me from the open-plan kitchen, I'd have fallen asleep right there.

I already felt accustomed to the apartment, it was wide and open-plan and I liked that. The living area was quite large and the kitchen was a good size for four people. Downstairs there was a little bathroom and upstairs I was told that there was two bathrooms, one for the guys and one for the girls. I was good with that.

After giving us our coffee, Shay plopped down beside me tucking her legs underneath her and resting one arm on the back of the sofa, "So...how are you doing hun?" She asks sincerely.

I'd lied to Kelly and Shay about Ray, I told them that I broke up with Ray because we never got to spend any time together because of his job. Which was partly true, he was CEO of a small pharmaceutical company and rarely available, but it wasn't by far the main reason. I hadn't told them the truth because I didn't want them to freak out over what happened and get mad. I knew Kelly would flip and Shay would be so worried she wouldn't give me any breathing space.

I needed to get past Ray and this was the only way to do so.

I finish taking a sip of my coffee and then rest it on my leg, "Honestly, I'm doing okay. I just need to move past him..."

Kelly was quiet from the armchair beside us and he was studying me intently; I knew to Kelly that I was easy to read and I was afraid he knew that I was lying, but he didn't say anything.

Shay places her hand over mine, "How did he take it?"

Inwardly I grimace and flashes of that night appear in my mind, I didn't want to think about it. I swallow deeply before replying, "He was upset but he understands... We hardly ever saw each other anyway."

Shay nods and accepts this, but I was getting worried because Kelly was still quiet, "Well you need someone who's around more."

"Yes, well, I realised it was best for us both to move on."

Her face lights up with that beautiful sweet smile of hers, "Well you're home now, back where you belong missy! This can be a fresh start for you."

When I smile back the smile was genuine, "I think it will be."

We slipped into conversation about the apartment and me re-signing with the Fire Department, and I explained that I was going to be bouncing until I was found a permanent spot. Kelly quickly joined the conversation and I was happy that he didn't seem to think that I'd deceived them.

Then the lock to the door clicked and the door opened, "Oh, Matt's home," Shay says looking to the door, "Gabs, meet Matt, the fourth member of our humble household."

I looked up at the guy who just walked through the door. My jaw dropped.

Smirking back at me was the runner who'd knocked me down just an hour ago.

_Oh great._


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone! **

**I'm so grateful for the positive reviews I have received from you all about the first chapter. I'm really glad I've sparked your interests with this story. I hope you'll all stay with me until the end.**

**Big shout outs to - **

**TheIrishShipperholic**

**Goldistic**

**Country-chick-20**

**Justicerocks**

**Jscat2**

**Grace2020**

**and the two guests who reviewed the first chapter! You guys are awesome!**

**I hope you all enjoy this next chapter!**

**oxoxo**

* * *

"You're kidding me, right?" I exclaim mostly to myself as the runner, _Matt, _was smirking humorously in my direction. Clearly he found this funny and clearly he knew who I was when he ran into me, which must have been why he was so amused.

Matt grins a "Hey," as he kicks off his shoes with his feet.

Shay and Kelly were watching us with confused faces, "Someone care to explain?"

I pointed towards Matt, "That jackass knocked me down as I was coming in through the front door," I answer as I glare in Matt's direction. He began to laugh at my explanation. As a matter of fact, Kelly and Shay ended up laughing too.

Matt held up his hands with a grin, "I didn't mean to run you down."

I raise a brow, "You should watch where you're going," I state with annoyance, narrowing my eyes as he moved to stand beside Kelly in the chair.

Shay laughs and looks between Matt and I before turning to Matt, "You best watch yourself Matt, Gabs has a horrible habit of holding grudges."

Matt shrugs, "I'm not worried," he answers and I scoff.

"You're pretty full of yourself, aren't you?"

This gets him grinning again, "Well if that's the closest I'll get to a 'nice to meet you,' I'll take what I can get."

I roll my eyes and Kelly smirks, "This should be interesting."

I was about to answer before a yawn took over and I felt my body instantly tire with fatigue. Shay slaps her hand gently on my leg, "You must be so tired. I'll show you your room."

I nod and lift myself off the sofa. I shuffle towards Kelly and bend down to hug him in the chair, "I've already taken your suitcase to your room... Goodnight Gabs."

"Thanks Kel. Goodnight," I murmur and make my way towards the stairs.

"What?" I hear Matt's husky voice call out, "No goodnight for me?"

I flip him off as I move up the spiral stairs and hear him laugh in return.

Shay showed me my room and the bathroom and quickly hugged me before leaving, saying that I should catch up on some sleep. I thanked her everything and she left with a smile.

My room was small but cosy. There was a double bed pressed against the wall adjacent to the door with purple covers. There was a window on the wall beside the bed and I got a nice view of the park a few streets away. Thankfully the window had cream curtains with a black-out blind to keep out the sun on days I wanted to sleep in. The walls were painted a deep purple and I loved the colour, it was sensual and relaxing. Beside the bed was a small white dresser with a cream lamp. Opposite the bed was a large white wardrobe that took up the entire wall. I was confused at how it was so big, but when I opened it there was a set of small drawers on the right hand side, with room for loads of shoes underneath. The rail space for hanging up was clothes would definitely be big enough and underneath that was a set of narrow wide drawers, where I could fold up my pyjamas, lingerie, workout-wear and jeans.

I also had a small cream dresser just beside the door with a stool where I could keep my make-up. I saw that the walls were bare but there were hooks in place for photo frames, which I would hang up soon.

After brushing my teeth and washing my face in the bathroom, I quickly changed out of my clothes and into a long pyjama shirt before crawling into bed, deciding to shower in the morning because I was too tired to do so now.

I wrapped myself up in the fresh sheets and snuggled into the pillows.

_So that was Matthew Casey..._

* * *

Considering I complemented the fact I had a blackout blind in my room I failed to draw it last night, so when the sunshine came shining in my window at 7am, I was awoken.

I stretched out my body and entangled myself from the sheets before climbing out of bed, slipping on my slippers as I padded into the girls bathroom. Then after hearing my stomach growl loudly I padded down the twisting stairs that I was sure would break my neck someday and headed for the kitchen.

"Morning," that husky voice called. I quickly turned around and saw Matt sitting at the breakfast bar with cereal and coffee, shirtless. It was a magnificent sight I'll admit, no matter how arrogant I found him. As he leaned over his cereal with his elbows on the counter, his biceps contracted and I instantly had dirty thoughts of those arms wrapped around me.

_Gabriela stop it._

I quickly hid that I was oogling him, "Morning," I mutter and head for the coffee machine.

"Someone's cheerful," he comments with a smirk in his voice as I wander around the kitchen, searching for the things I needed. Matt didn't try to help and neither did I ask, but I felt him watching me as I moved around the kitchen.

As I waited for the toaster to pop I turned around and leaned against the worktop, gazing out of the windows. The panels of glass were practically the wall as they stretched the length of the apartment from ceiling to floor. It made for a wonderful view of the city.

Matt takes a long gulp of his coffee whilst watching me over the rim of the cup, I stared back. He swallows the drink before asking, "You don't like me very much do you?"

I laugh, "Not particularly, I find you cocky."

He rolls his eyes, "And I find you uptight."

The toaster pops before I can reply so I turn and see to my breakfast, trying to ignore his eyes on my skin. For some reason I felt bare and exposed under his eyes and it unnerved me in a way I didn't understand.

I frowned as I buttered the bread, "So Kelly said you broke up with your boyfriend?" Matt said, but it wasn't much of a question.

Turning to face him I shoved the toast in my mouth and took a bite, "Yep," I nodded with a mouthful, not worried at all at grossing him out because I didn't care.

"Really?" Matt raised a brow, "Is that all I'm gonna get? No heartbreaking details? Must of been pretty bad for you to come home," he chuckled humorously, but there was something more to his eyes when he spoke.

I shook my head, "There's nothing much to it; I wanted to come home and I just don't do relationships anymore."

This sparked more curiosity in him than I expected, "Oh, I see... Too many bad ones?"

"Yeah, they're more hassle than they're worth..."

Matt seems to honestly understand as he nods, "I guess we do have one thing in common."

I raise a brow and he laughs, holding up his hands, "Trust me, it's just this _one_ thing. You're not my type anyway."

It was my turn to raise a brow in annoyance, "Who said I cared if I was your type?"

"No one, I'm just saying. You're too... _tense _for me," Matt observes, scanning my face.

I scowl at him, this somehow frustrating me, "Only in your presence, trust me."

Matt laughs again, "Oh I'm sure Dawson, I'm sure."

* * *

**_Casey_**

I had to admit, no matter how much I didn't like Dawson, she was pretty damn hot. She was petite but crazily curvy with gorgeous mocha skin and a wicked smile. Her eyes were big and brown and her lips were full and pink. Her brown hair was messy and curly as it rest on her shoulders, but it looked good on her.

She padded off towards the sofa in an oversized shirt that skimmed her mid-thigh. I swallowed as she moved and I watched her whilst trying to conceal it.

I followed her and sat down on the chair as Dawson sat on the sofa. I watched as she mauled her food, "Hungry?" I chuckled.

"Don't like it, don't watch," she muttered, narrowing her eyes at me.

I noticed the pink pig slippers she had on her feet and laughed loudly, "Those pig slippers suit you. They represent how you're eating right now - like a pig."

Her jaw locks as she leans forward, takes a slipper from her foot and throws it at me. I thumps quietly against my chest and I laugh, picking up the slipper and inspecting the pink pig head that sat on the top.

"Uptight _and _violent, you're probably in the first stages of becoming a serial killer Dawson."

Dawson clicks her tongue as she glares at me and if looks could kill... then boy I'd be dead, but it was amusing annoying her and it was a distraction from _her_ and_ what she did, _"If by serial you mean getting to kill you a few times, then I guess your analysis is correct."

My face screws up with confusion, "How could you kill me multiple times? I'd be dead."

She smirks wickedly and for some reason, this sends hot flushes to down below, "I'm an EMT Casey, I'll just resuscitate you, but eventually you'll die."

I nod, "Okay, you're definitely going to be a serial killer."

Dawson gets up from the sofa and wanders towards the kitchen, but stops beside the armchair where I sat. She bends down, pats my cheek with that wicked smile still on her face and whispers, "You better watch out then, Casey," before sauntering off looking pleased with herself.

I had to swallow thickly and compose myself for a moment, _who the hell is this girl?_

* * *

_The next day..._

I was helping the guys clean Truck when Kelly approached, swatting Mills, our newest Candidate placed here in preparation for Hines' retirement, with a wash cloth as he went. Mills simply rolled his eyes, quickly getting used to the guys ribbing.

"Hey," Kelly punched my shoulder lightly, as if this was the only way of getting my attention, "You got a minute?"

I looked up at Hines and he nodded, so I followed Kelly out front and we walked half the drive before coming to a stop.

"What's up?" I ask, though I had my suspicions on what he wanted to talk about. I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my trousers and tried to look as 'okay' as possible.

Kelly paused for a moment taking the time to analyze me, "How you doing?" he asked, the question having more meaning to it than your normal everyday greeting.

I swallowed thickly and try to brush him off, "Better than I was. I'm fine. I don't care about her."

He looked like he was fighting the urge to huff in annoyance and roll his eyes, "You can play off this cocky shit with everyone else but it doesn't fly with me Matt and you know it... So I'll ask you again, how you doing?"

I was frustrated but more with myself than Kelly. I was annoyed at how he could see straight through me and at how I wasn't 'fine' yet. It'd been two months. I had to get over it.

"I'm trying..." I sigh knowing that it was the truth. I was trying, I just wasn't do a very good job.

Kelly nods, "I know man... I still can't fucking believe-"

I shake him off, "Can we not talk about what she did."

Thankfully he let this one slide and nodded. A few seconds later he grinned as if nothing had been said, "So how's the studying coming along, _Lieutenant?_" he teases, punching my arm.

I punch him back quickly, "It's coming along... and I'm not Lieutenant yet."

We ended up scuffling and Kelly caught me in a head lock and ruffled my hair, "_Yet... _It's only a matter of time bud."

I struggled out of his grip and pushed him one last time, "Well hopefully."

Kelly raises his brow, "Well where's all your arrogance gone?" He teases and clench my jaw.

"Anyway," he continues, "What d'ya think about Gabby? Although, she's not too fond of you," he says with a laugh in her voice.

"I'm aware of that... She thinks I'm cocky, I think she's uptight. That's about it... But I don't think she'll ever like me after this morning."

Kelly's brows draw together, "What did you do?"

I hold up my hands in defence, "We clashed over the sexualisation of women in the media. Trust me, I'll never say a bikini model is hot in her presence again."

Kelly laughs, "Yeah, Gabs has a thing about how women are demeaned in ads and music videos and stuff... So I guess you guys aren't getting along any better then..."

I shake my head and laugh, "Not by a long shot... I guess Shay was right, she really does hold grudges."

"Or it could just be you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys!**

**Thank you for such great reviews on this story so far! Huge cyber-hugs sent out to you guys! I love reading them and I'm very glad that your interested, and are enjoying this story. It means so much to me.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**oxoxo**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

After arriving back to Chicago on Friday I found that I settled in quickly and by the time Monday morning rolled around, it was like I'd never left. Life was good in Chicago, well, aside from having Matt in the apartment annoying me at every chance he gets, but not everything is perfect right?

I quickly left the Fire Department's HQ after spending hours inside, filling in endless forms and providing proof of my qualifications as a PIC as I'd taken that test in Denver and not Chicago, feeling somewhat exhausted by the whole ordeal. Tomorrow I would report to Firehouse 23 where I'd fill in for the resident PIC who had to take a personal day. I wasn't needed to work Wednesday, but Thursday I was pulling a 24 and Friday I was needed for 6 hours.

I knew that by the time Friday night rolls around, I'd be exhausted.

The apartment was quiet when I returned home after grocery shopping, Kelly, Shay and Matt were all working down at 51. I had yet to visit 51, but I'd heard loads of stories about the guys there from Kelly and Shay. They sounded like a great group of guys.

After tucking into some pasta and chicken I curled up on the sofa in front of the TV, mindlessly flipping through channels. Tomorrow if I finish work on time then I was going to have dinner with Antonio, Laura and the kids at their house. I had yet to see them as they had been on vacation for a week and they were coming home tomorrow morning, but we'd spoken on the phone. I knew Antonio was concerned about me and as much as I loved him, I was tentative of seeing him tomorrow. I didn't know if I could handle his questions and intruding stare.

I was watching some cookery show when my mind wandered to Matt and our argument yesterday.

_I was already irritated because Kelly was out running and Shay had to go into work early to cover for someone else, leaving me alone with Matt before his shift. _

_I was trying but failing to focus on the TV because Matt was sat in the armchair cracking his knuckles over and over. When he did it the first few times the act was innocent, but once he noticed that the noise was riling me up he continued to do it. I remember grinding my teeth together in irritation and I purposely avoided his gaze, determined not to give him any more satisfaction. _

_The news channel flipped to the ads and sure enough a gloriously glamorous woman appeared on the TV, advertising perfume. I rolled my eyes when Matt whistled, "Damn, she's hot."_

_I scoffed, "You're a prime example of why women are sexualized in the media - to appease men. It's disgusting."_

_Matt looked at me and rolled his eyes, "I'm sure that model consented to the ad. She's just doing her job."_

_"Yes, advertising perfume. Why does she have to be naked? It's unnecessary and derogatory."_

_"Firstly, she's wearing a bikini and secondly, it's not my fault that it's shown on the TV..." Matt answers and I rolled my eyes, having no answer._

He was just so annoying.

He got under my skin.

And I didn't know why.

* * *

"Look," Matt argued as he sat on the sofa as I curled into the arm-chair, "I'm just saying that I don't see the point in romance films. They give women this perfect ideal of a man and then women come to expect this."

I scoffed, "Not all women are the same - so don't tarnish us all with the same brush. And yes some women have these ludicrous expectations, but most of us just want to be happy," I say honestly, defending mine and women's honor.

Matt raises a brow, "So you're telling me you wouldn't want these perfect men? The perfect love story?" He teases.

I rolled my eyes, "What love story is perfect? As long as it's real, raw, I don't care. There's no such thing as the perfect man."

"Yet women want the perfect man," he counteracts and I detected a deeper meaning to his words.

"Yes, it'd be great to have the perfect man, but there's no such thing. And you can't criticise women for wanting a perfect man if men expect women to be perfect too."

"Oh yeah, how?" Matt asked curiously, his brows drawing together.

"Long wonderfully tamed hair. Big smoky eyes. Deep luscious red lips. Huge boobs and a tiny waist and a huge ass. Long legs... Would you like me to go on?" I say when I notice that he's gotten the point.

He pauses for a moment and what I'd said seems to frustrate him, "Not all guys are like that."

"Not all women want the perfect guy in romance films either."

Matt chuckles darkly, "You're impossible to argue with."

"Then why are you arguing with me?" I answer, my voice rasing slightly. _He was so infuriating!_

"Because you keep answering me!" Matt yells back, his eyes widening.

"Jackass!" I shout.

"Bitch," he sighs back.

"Grade A asshole."

"Clever. Unique," Matt chides teasingly.

I clench my fists as I throw them out beside me in anger, "Are you going to shut up?"

Matt smirks for a moment before answering, "If this is annoying you, then no."

_Lord give me strength._

* * *

After I'd arrived home from my shift and I had my argument with Matt, I changed and headed over to Antonio's for dinner.

Four-year old Diego chased around his five-year old sister Eva after dinner, Eva yelping about how Diego was trying to give her 'germs' by kissing her. I laughed as I helped Antonio with the dishes and watched as Laura tried to explain to Eva that she wasn't going to get sick from Diego kissing her.

"But Mom," Eva argued, "boys have germs!" She exclaimed loudly.

The relief that swept across Antonio's face was a picture, "Looks like you still have a few years until the 'talk' ay, Antonio?" I teased, nudging him as Laura fruitfully tried to calm Eva and Diego down.

Antonio didn't seem to mind me teasing him on this subject, "And I'm grateful for that everyday."

Once the dishes were washed, dried and put away we settled into the living room and I hugged Diego on my lap as Eva sat beside me.

"I'm so glad you're home Gabby," Eva murmured as she hugged my side. I turned and placed a kiss to her forehead as I wrapped my spare arm around her, "Me too sweetheart... It'll be nice to see you guys more often now."

Diego beamed a toothy smile widely, "Can you take us to the park to play?" He asks excitedly.

"Of course I can," I smile, "And I can babysit for you guys now, let your mom and dad have some time to themselves," I say mostly to Antonio and Laura, who watched us from the other sofa.

Laura smiled, "I think they'd love that Gabby, thank you..."

"Oh it's no problem, they're my favourite niece and nephew," I laughed as I tickled Diego's side.

Eva giggles, "Gabby, we're your only niece and nephew!"

"Exactly why you're my favourites," I reply and place another kiss to each of their foreheads.

Around 8pm I put Eva and Diego to bed and read them a quick story before returning downstairs to sit with my brother and sister-in-law. Immediately Antonio had his 'serious' face on.

"How you doing Gab?" Antonio asks and I could see that he was analyzing my every move and reaction.

I smile to try to reassure him, "I'm fine Antonio. It's nice to be home."

Laura rests her hand on Antonio's chest, as if to calm him, "It's lovely to have you back Gabby, we've missed you... Antonio's just shocked because you decided to come home after all this time."

I swallow thickly, "I just missed home...and after breaking up with Ray...there was nothing left to keep me in Denver."

"Why did you break up with Ray?" Antonio asks inquisitively, the serious tone slipping into his voice. Laura looks at him warningly to tell him not to push me.

"We never got to see each other. He worked too much. It wasn't a relationship anymore," I reply with my perfectly tuned answer, hoping this was enough information for him.

I take a deep breath and speak again, not allowing him to challenge what I said, "Look, I know you guys went through hell with me before I left... You dealt with a lot of my crap..."

Laura tried to reassure me, "It was understandable..."

"But you didn't deserve it... I'm not that girl anymore... I've changed... You don't have to keep worrying about me, you have Eva and Diego to focus on now. I can handle my own..."

Antonio sighs and gets up to come and hug me, "I know you can kiddo, but you're my little sis and I'm always going to worry about you."

I bury my face into his chest feeling completely comforted and safe being wrapped in his arms, "I know..." I murmur, knowing it was the truth.

* * *

"Oh this is nice huh? Just me and you..." Shay sighs with a relaxed voice as we sunk into jacuzzi at the spa. After our working week Shay had surprised me with a spa day so we could spend some time together. It was Saturday morning in Chicago and the sun shone brightly outside.

I lean my head against a head rest and hum at the warm bubbling water around me, "It's great. Thank you Shay."

Shay copied my position and we lounged out in the jacuzzi, and I could practically feel the tension escape from my body, "So how did you find your first week?"

"I loved it. I love working in Chicago again... I just hope I'm not bouncing for a long time," I murmur, allowing my eyes to slip shut.

"I hear you girl... Once I qualified it took them a few weeks to place me at 51 and I hated travelling from Firehouse to Firehouse."

I nod and open my eyes once more, "It's a bit of a pain, but I'm glad I'm home..."

Shay smiles softly, "You're adjusting well."

"It's home, how could I not?" I shrug and give her a smile in return. We were quiet for a while as we relaxed in the bubbling water, the warmth of it soothing the stress from my body and calming me.

Then the question I'd been wanting to ask her all week popped into my mind. I bit my lip as I pondered over how to ask her without Shay getting overly suspicious and without her jumping to conclusions.

Shay huffs and rolls her eyes, "Okay, out with it girl," she demands as she notices my nervousness.

I go for it, "So what's the deal with Casey?"

Shay smirks, "How did I know it would be about him, huh? Well, what do you mean?"

I shrug, "I don't know," I said with a stammering voice, "Just... what's his story?"

"I thought you didn't like him?" She teases with a silly grin.

"I don't," I state firmly, "I'm just curious."

"Okay," Shay says, dropping the teasing act, "Well when I moved to 51 he was already really good friends with Kelly - they'd been at the academy together and I got along with him well, so we got an apartment together. It made the rent easier and it was nice being with friends... He met Hallie-"

"Who's Hallie?" I ask quickly, the question out of my mouth before I could control it.

Shay rolls her eyes, "I'm trying to tell you. Quit butting in... He met Hallie a few months after I joined 51, we were all on a big night out and Matt went home with her that night. Soon enough, they were together and it seemed like a good relationship. Hallie's apartment building was closing and because we had the spare room, she moved in with us..."

My eyes widen in realisation, "She's the fourth roommate?"

Shay nods, "Well, former fourth roommate..."

"What happened?" I urge, suddenly desperate for this information. _Matt was such a mystery to me._

Shay pauses a moment before answering, "They were a great couple, completely loved up. Kelly and I always poked fun at how lovey-dovey they were... We even had a wager between us on when Matt would pop the question."

"So they were serious?"

Again she nods and ignores my interruption, seemingly used to it, "Really serious... Then two months ago Matt tells us that Hallie's cheated on him. That she doesn't want to be with him anymore. He was a wreck... For a week or so he kept going back to her whenever she called - she'd moved out at this point - but Kelly stopped him in the end... I never thought she'd do that to him. I thought she had enough respect for him to breakup with him instead of cheating..."

_What a fucking bitch._

I processed the information for a minute before speaking again, "Has he always been the way he is?" I was inferring to the half-naked woman who stumbled out of Matt's room this morning and left quickly.

Shay raised a brow but her annoyance wasn't directed at me, "The cocky player act?"

I nod, "No, Matt was the perfect guy," she answered and this shocked me, _Matthew Casey the perfect guy?_ "If I was straight, he's the guy I would want to be with. He was always really sweet, he'd always do these cute romantic things for Hallie... I know you guys don't get along, but he has a heart of gold Gabs, everyone loves him. He's the go-to guy for everyone in firehouse if we need help or need to talk..."

_Matt had a heart of gold?_

"So why doesn't he come across as that guy anymore?" I question, the information buzzing in my mind. _He must have really loved her to become this fucked up after the breakup. _

Shay sighs sadly, "It's a defence mechanism I think. He's only interested in one thing these days - sex... I can't say I blame him..."

_I can't blame him either._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys!**

**Again, thank you all for the wonderful, outstanding and incredible reviews! They mean so much to me. To know you guys are out there reading my stories and enjoying them, it's so heartwarming. **

**Thank you all for the support - you keep me writing!**

**Love you all!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

_A week later..._

I was so fiercely hungry that I could eat a horse.

Shay had dragged me out last night for a few drinks and I never had the chance to eat a proper meal. Nevertheless, we had a great time together and I had to admit, I enjoyed seeing her drunk more than I should have. I kept my drinks to a minimum and I'm glad I did, otherwise Shay and I wouldn't have gotten home last night otherwise.

On the plus side, Shay and Kelly were planning to take me to meet the guys of 51 the next time they all went out for drinks. I was excited to meet the people I'd heard so much about.

I padded into the bathroom quietly careful not to disturb anyone. Then I made my way to the kitchen in search of well needed food.

From what I could tell Matt was home and Kelly wasn't. Matt's shoes were beside the sofa and his keys were on the coffee table, but Kelly has appeared to have stayed out last night.

As I fried up some eggs I grabbed my phone and texted Kelly - _Hope you had fun lover-boy. How's the head?_

I'd plated up my eggs and made coffee by the time he replied - _A lot of fun. And don't ask. I'll be home soon._

I rolled my eyes as I shoved a fork-full of eggs in my mouth - _Wham, bam and thank you m'am._

The phone buzzed across the breakfast bar when Kelly answered - _Something like that._

Kelly was a prolific ladies man, but he didn't pretend to be anything but. I guess he hadn't met the right girl yet to make him settle down and he was still young. There's no harm in having a little fun, as long as your careful about it and feelings don't get in the way. That's when it gets complicated.

Once I finished my eggs I poured myself another mug of coffee and settled on the sofa to watch the news. The weather looked lovely outside, a warm but not overly hot day seemed to be brewing. I had nothing to do today, so maybe I'd go out for a run. I'd missed my morning runs.

Fifteen minutes had passed when I heard footsteps upstairs and doors creaking open. A pair of bare legs appeared and started walking down the stairs - at first I thought it was Shay, but it was this red-haired girl I'd never seen before. She was sporting wild hair and was wearing a daringly short white dress.

Matt followed close behind, clothed in nothing but a pair of boxers.

The girl shot me a glance before she slipped through the doorway after giving Matt a quick kiss. Once the door was closed, he turned and grinned, before heading to grab some coffee.

"She's the third this week. You're on a role Casey," I say as nonchalantly as possible as Matt sits in the armchair, smelling of sex and beer.

Matt rolls his eyes, annoyed that I was calling him up on this, "And it matters to you, because?"

I hold up my hand, "Oh, it doesn't. I'm just stating facts."

His blue eyes narrow at me and he clenches his jaw, "If you want to say something, say it. Don't be a fucking pussy and expect me to beat around the bush with you."

This ignites a burning anger within me, "Alright. Hallie. Sleeping around with god knows how many women isn't going to fix what's going on in your head."

I can see in his eyes that he's angry with me, so angry, and I was angry with him for how rude he was. And I was angry with myself.

"How do you know about her?" He hisses bitterly, hunching over in the armchair to appear closer to me.

I swallow deeply, "Shay. I asked her about you."

Matt's blue eyes widen with fake humor and a deep fury, "So you think that now you've heard this one thing about me that you know me?"

Momentarily stunned, I shake my head, "No, I-"

He quickly cuts me off, "Then don't tell me what the fuck to do, Dawson. I'll sleep with who I want. I don't give you instructions on how to live your life - I couldn't care less - so don't impose your perfect ideals on me."

I clench my fist, "I'm not trying to 'impose my ideals on you', I'm stating facts. And maybe I was trying to give you some fucking advice!"

Matt scoffs humorslessly, "I highly doubt that... Look Dawson, just because you're so fucking perfect with your perfect little life it doesn't mean you get to dictate what the rest of us do. So back off!"

I slam the coffee down on the table and push myself off the sofa quickly, "How I'd love to be perfect Casey, trust me," I hiss harshly before rushing up the stairs and away from him.

I quickly change into my running clothes, images of _those _days haunting my mind like some disease I couldn't get rid of. _Why could I never escape them?_

Grabbing my keys I leave the apartment, slamming the door behind me. I take the elevator to the ground floor, open the front doors and hit the pavement and run.

_Run from everything. _

* * *

_**Casey**_

Kelly was with a girl again, probably the same one he went home with last night. Shay was having dinner with her mom. Gabby, _screw Gabby, _she'd been called in for a few hours.

Who the hell did she think she was? She doesn't know me, she doesn't know Hallie, she doesn't _really _know what happened and she has no right to comment on it. Neither does she have a right to comment on my behaviour. I'm not hurting no one. This is my business. She should stay out of it.

She made it seem so easy, black and white, right and wrong, as if she was some fucking angel or something. So she'd had a good life, she had experience to comment on other people's pitfalls. _Didn't she?_

What did she mean by how she wished to be perfect?

_Maybe there's more to her than you realise?_

I don't know. I don't care. I leave her to live her own life, she should let me do the same.

I was contemplating calling Sarah. I was bored and alone, I needed the company. There was nothing wrong with what I was doing. I'm fine. I'm fine.

The phone was in ready in my hand when I heard someone unlock the front door. I looked at the clock 7pm and I rolled my eyes, it's probably Gabby. She was only needed to cover for someone for a couple of hours.

Sure enough, when the door opened and a figure slipped inside, it was her.

Gabby shuffled in and closed the door behind her. Her head was lowered so I couldn't see her face as she kicked off her shoes. I swear I heard her sniffle.

I watched her as she moved towards the staircase, figuring that she was just ignoring me because of earlier. Fine, I could deal with that.

But as she took the first step on the stairs I caught a glimpse of her face, it was red and puffy and she was crying. Then I heard a whimper escape her lips.

"Dawson?" I call as I quickly get up from the sofa and jog towards the stairs. She pauses for a second but then shakes her head, lifting her foot slowly onto the next step.

When I reached the stairs I caught her hand in mine and she stopped moving, "Leave it," she mutters with upset mangling her words as she tries to shake my hand away.

"What's wrong? What happened?" I ask her hurriedly, finding myself feeling more concerned than I'd expect. I coaxed her body into turning so that she faced me. Gabby tried to fight against me, pushing me away, "Just get off me!"

But something told me that she couldn't be alone right now. That I shouldn't leave her alone and uspet like this, no matter how much she ground on me.

So I held onto her as she fought against me, pushing against my chest with as much fight as she could muster. Then the energy seemed to slip from her body as she stopped fighting against me and she collapsed on the third step of the stairs, curling up into a ball and crying helplessly.

I sat beside her, finding it awkward to sit on the step because I was crammed onto the narrow part of the stairs but not concerned about anything other than Gabby right now. Cautiously I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my chest. She froze for few moments, her body stiff next to mine, but then she curled into my chest and cried into my shirt.

"What happened?" I ask quietly, murmuring the words into her hair. Gabby shakes her head, a twisted wail echoing from her mouth, "I couldn't-" the words were barely understandable as she blubbered them, another wave of uncontrollable tears bursting from her pained eyes.

"Ssh," I soothed as her hand clutched needily at my shirt, a patch of her tears wetting the fabric.

I waited for her to speak when she was ready rather than coaxing the information from her, "He died... I couldn't save him..." she whispers with a painful misery and for some reason, it hurt me too.

"Who?" I murmur, coming to the realisation that she'd lost someone on the job.

Her breath catches in her throat, "He was just a kid, just a kid and he's gone..." that's all she can say before the tears and lack of breath take over, and she can't speak no more.

"It's okay," the words seemed difficult to speak as I comforted her because I knew what she was feeling. Knew what it felt like to lose one.

Gabby stayed huddled into my side for so long I wasn't sure what the time was when she raised her head from my chest. She sniffs and rubs her face with her hands, an awkward small smile on her lips, "Sorry for this," she apologizes, wiping her eyes with her sleeves that were scrunched in a ball in her hands.

I shake my head, "Don't mention it," I assure, wondering how the fiesty girl I argued with earlier had been reduced to this crying one. I didn't expect for Gabby to have such opposite sides to her.

She nods slowly, "I'm gonna go to bed," she says before lifting herself up from the step. I follow suit, but return to ground level while she goes up.

"Dawson?" I call just before she was out of sight.

She turns to face me, her face still red and pained, "Yeah?" she asks, her voice guttural and throaty.

"It wasn't your fault."

* * *

I finally see Gabby the next morning when she pads down the stairs as Kelly and I are watching TV. She seems to be better now.

Gabby doesn't make eye contact as she makes her way to the kitchen, murmuring a "Morning," to us as she passes. A few minutes later she sat down on the sofa with Kelly, focusing her eyes anywhere but me and the armchair.

_What happened last night?_

One minute I hate her and the next I'm comforting her?

Gabby seemed intent on ignoring me and forgetting last night, I'd do the same. I'd brush it off. It meant nothing. It was nothing.

"You okay?" Kelly asks as he observes Gabby. I'd mentioned what happened to him so he and Shay could take care of it. It means nothing to me.

She looks up at him with a bewilderment, "Yeah, fine," she shrugs it off.

Kelly shakes his head but doesn't say anything else, probably waiting to speak to her in private.

When she passes by me when Kelly went to the bathroom I turn away, disregarding her. Gabby nods, apparently happy with this and makes her way to her room.

Hating each other - just the way I like it.

_She's intruding, bossy, dictatorial, stubborn, a know it all and a pain in my ass._

I don't like her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone!**

**I can not express how deeply grateful I am to read such wonderful reviews from you all. I never expected this kind of response to this story, but I am so glad that I have. You are the people I write for and it makes me so happy to know that you're enjoying reading my story.**

**To all you readers out there - thank you! I couldn't do this without you!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

"So you're Gabriela Dawson huh?" A tall latino man with big eyes and a bald head smiled. His name was Joe Cruz and he was probably a few years older than me. I tip my head back and swallow the shot of tequila, wincing at the burning sensation trickling down my throat.

"Whatever Kelly and Shay has told you, it's lies," I reply with a serious tone, before grinning at him.

A man by the name of 'Otis' answers with a teasing laugh to his voice, "So you're not the girl who got so high off the painkillers after root canal treatment that she thought she was the toothfairy?"

I shoot a death glare at Shay and Kelly as the people around us laugh, "I told you, I have no tolerance for painkillers."

Kelly chuckles, "I know you don't," he jokes as I slap his chest.

"You're such an ass," I poke my tongue out at him.

A man with a raspy voice spoke next as he ruffled Kelly's dark hair, "Don't we know it. Chris Herrmann, nice to meet you," he introduces, holding his hand out with a smile.

I shake his hand and return with a grin of a my own, "Herrmann? The guy with the multiple business deals?"

Cruz raises his brows and leans in towards me, "Failed business deals," he corrects and Herrmann stares angrily at him.

"Yeah, I'm that guy," he sighs, before a tall man with a great presence approaches us. He was black with dark hair and dark brown eyes, but he wore a smile as he watched the guys tease each other. This was the Chief.

"Wallace Boden, nice to put a face to the name," he smiles and his demeanour put me at ease. He had a huge presence, but I'm sure under the tough exterior there was a heart of gold underneath. I'd heard from Kelly and Shay how he was tough and firm but also kind and caring. Like a surrogate father to them all at 51.

We shake hands, "I've heard great things about you and your Firehouse."

He waves his hand, "Ah, it's the job..."

"So you're an EMT?" Mouch asks, the half man half couch. He was a nice guy, grumpy, but he had his heart in the right place.

I nod my head as take a sip of the beer Cruz had bought for me, "For four years now."

"Where you stationed?" Otis questions, picking at a bag of nuts.

"Nowhere yet. I've just moved back to Chicago so I'm bouncing until they place me."

Herrmann nods, "You lived in Denver right?"

My face contours with confusion, "Yeah, how did you know?"

He jabs his thumb at Matt who was making his way through the bar towards us, "Casey told us about you."

I raise a brow in Matt's direction as he neared, oogling every piece of ass that he passed with little worry about hiding it, and at this I rolled my eyes. Mouch huffed, "Uh oh, do I detect a little tension?"

"He's an ass," I answer just as Matt reaches us and says, "She's a bitch."

Shay laughs as we glare as Matt and I glare at each other, "Appreciate that you don't have to live with them."

I jab her in the ribs and she squeals quietly, "Hey, he started it this morning!" I cried referring to our argument over who ate the last of his cereal. _Okay, I admit it. It was me. But I wasn't going to admit it to him._

Matt swigs at the beer the Chief had just handed to him, "I had a perfectly good reason to start it."

I raise a brow at him as I spin on my stool to face him, "Until you have forensic proof, let's not get into this again."

Herrmann laughs a throaty laugh and hugs Shay with one arm, pulling her to his side, "You're right Shay, I'm glad I'm not in your position!"

As the night went on I distanced myself from Matt and spent my time getting to know the guys of 51. Cruz had been at 51 for four years and he drove the Truck, and he was their resident cook until Peter Mills, the new Candidate arrived at 51. Mills had been stationed to 51 because Truck's current Lieutenant, Hines, was soon retiring. Herrmann had been at 51 for almost ten years and he had a wife named Cindy and three children, with a fourth on the way. He was hoping for a girl. With the arrival of Mills, Otis/Brian, was no longer Candidate and he worked on the ladders, ergo the name Otis. He was glad he was no longer a Candidate.

I briefly met Shay's partner Macaulay who she described as a 'bunch of sunshine and roses' with a sarcastic tone. I soon understood what she meant.

Kelly had recently become Lieutenant of Squad and he led Capp, Clarke and Tony. They were a lovely group of guys.

"Okay, okay, Dawson you'll never understand how thankful we were for Peter Mills..." Otis beams drunkly, slapping his hand down on to the table of the booth we were sitting at. Herrmann and Capp nod a few times, lopsided merry grins on their faces.

I chuckle and take the bait, "Okay why?"

Cruz, who was standing beside our booth with Mills, was quickly pulled into Otis' side after he wrapped a wobbly arm around him, "Because Cruz is an _awful _cook... and I'm sure he's given us food poisoning at least three times."

I laugh loudly, happily drunk myself, "So Mills has saved you all?" I ask, ruffling Mills' head who smiles at me.

They all cheer and even Cruz did too, too drunk to care that they were dissing his cooking. I raise my glass, "To Peter Mills - for saving you all from imminent death!"

They shout in unison 'To Peter Mills' and then we clink our drinks together, beer spilling out and coating our hands. We're too drunk to notice and are already gulping at our drinks.

Shay slides up beside me, giggly and flirty, _she got like this when she was drunk, _"Hey girl, how are these guys treating you?"

I nod with a silly drunken smile on my face, "Very well... We were just celebrating young Mills here and his wonderful cookery skills," I wave my hand at Mills as if he was God himself.

Shay beams with understanding, "His cooking is so much better than Cruz's!"

Cruz was too busy dancing with some girl to even take notice at this point. Shay spots him dancing and gets an idea. She loops her arm in mine and pulls me to the dance floor, pushing past the crowds so that we were in the middle of the floor.

Shay and I are both too drunk to have any inhibitions about the way were dancing with each other. We're chest to chest, hip to hip and practically grinding on each other. My hands are in my hair, her's are on my waist.

For anyone watching, we were putting on a damn good show.

She's suddenly spinning me and my mind blurs, more so than usual considering how much I had drunk. When I regain my balance, I see that she's in the arms of a tanned blonde, arguably dancing more provocatively than we were. I laugh to myself and spin around, hitting chests with a man who was dancing slowly.

My mind was too foggy to realise who he was, so I allow him to hold a hand on my lower back to steady me. I find my hips moving against his in an arousing rhythm. He's responding to me too.

I felt giddy in his arms and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. The warmth of his hard chest against my own stirred excitement in my lower stomach and between my legs. I place my hands on his chest, my fingers tingling.

The music was drumming in my ears when I finally look up and I'm stunned to silence. Familiar blue eyes are gazing into my own. _Matt._

We don't move an inch and we don't say a word, we can't do nothing but stare at each other, electricity buzzing between our bodies like a live-wire. I swallow thickly, unable to explain the feelings that were overwhelming my body. His lips, pink and fucking perfect were staring me in the face and I had the unbearable urge to reach up and ravish them. Those blue eyes flickered, he was waiting for me to make the first move.

And then I felt a hand curl around my wrist and pull me to them. It was Shay, and the tanned blonde must have moved on because she's back to grinding against my body. I move with her but turn around to find Matt, but he's no longer there. His place in the crowd now taken by someone else.

I danced with Shay for the rest of the night and as much as I hated it, I was always looking around for Matt, the feelings buzzing within me unexplainable.

_I missed his hands on my body. _

* * *

_A few days later..._

It was ten in the evening and Shay, Kelly and Matt were yet to come home. I'd been home since 6pm, after working a 12 hour shift. They were meant to be home an hour ago. I understood that sometimes you get called out just before the end of shift, but this had happened once before and Shay had given me a text saying that they were gonna be late.

I was getting worried. I called Shay and Kelly twice, and even Matt once, but none of them answered. I didn't like the feeling I was getting in my stomach. Something was wrong.

I quickly found the number to 51 that Shay had entered into my phone and I called, pacing the kitchen because of my nerves as the phone dialed.

"_Hello. Firehouse 51. What can I do for you?"_

"Hi. My friends work at 51, can you tell me if they're out on a call? Their shift was supposed to end an hour ago and they aren't home?"

The woman on the other end of the line sighed, "They're at the hospital?"

My stomach sank, "What hospital?"

"Lakeshore-" she tried to continue, but I'd already hung up. _Someone's hurt. _

I'd only met the guys of 51 a few days ago and yesterday I took them muffins at the station, but they were great guys. I'd finally found new friends in Chicago. They accepted me and called me their friend too. _One of them was hurt._

I pulled on a pair of jeans and the first shoes I came across before grabbing my keys and phone as I rushed out the door. I rushed out of the building and into my car, speeding away as I headed for Lakeshore.

It took me ten minutes to get to Lakeshore. Ten agonizing minutes. I didn't know who was hurt or how badly, but someone was hurt enough to go the hospital and that was all I knew for now. When I pull up at the hospital I check my phone. No one had called me back.

I slam the door behind me as I run into the hospital, barely pausing to lock the car. I slip past a couple of people as I throw myself at the ER desk and the nurse looks up at me with shock.

"Firefighters. Where are they?"

She doesn't seem phased at my demanding voice, she was probably used to worried and desperate people shouting at her, though I did feel a little guilty. She points down the hall, "In the waiting room..."

She had barely finished before I rushed down the hall, stopping when I saw Chief Boden leaning up against the wall, an unreadable expression on his face. I scan the waiting area, littered with men with sad and worried expressions on their faces. Their faces covered with soot and dust.

_They were only missing one. _

Shay's face pops up in front of mine, it was sad and concerned, but not awfully pained as if it was much worst than I first thought. She'd obviously treated Matt.

"What happened?" I ask hurriedly, a feeling burning deep inside me that I couldn't understand.

"Floor collapsed. He hit his head and he has breathing difficulties, but it's not life-threatening. Doctor should be out soon," she reassured and I took her in my arms, comforting her with my hug. Matt was her friend and even though she had every confidence that he was okay, I could tell that she was still worried.

I felt her hands on my back as she hugged me back, "How did you know?"

"I was expecting you guys home at nine. When you didn't answer my calls I panicked and called 51. The woman I spoke to told me you were here," I explain as she takes me to sit down beside Kelly, who was staring at the floor in deep thought.

I rest my hand on Kelly's knee which catches his attention, "How you holding up?"

He nods and puts his hand around mine, "Just want to know for definite, that's all..." he was referring to knowing that Matt was okay, I could relate to that.

I swallow at this, "Was... Did it look bad?"

Herrmann, who was sat across from me with Mills beside him nods, "Looked worse than it is, kid. Don't worry, he's gonna be alright."

It was then the doctor came out and confirmed what Herrmann had just said. Matt had a minor concussion and a broken index and middle finger. They'd treated him for minor smoke inhalation, but his lungs were fine. They were releasing him before midnight.

As Kelly, Shay and Boden made their way out of the waiting room and out of sight down the hall, I let out a shaky breath I hadn't realised I was holding. _He was okay._

I couldn't explain why I wanted to see him, I hated Matt, but I'd been so worried, so panicked. I wanted to see for myself that he was okay, but I doubt he'd even thought about me. _As long as he's okay. _

Herrmann pats Mills on the shoulder and gets up from his seat, moving to sit beside me. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his side, rubbing my arm, "See kid? He's fine..."

I nod and rest my head against his shoulder, waves of relief crashing over my body - washing away the panic. Then I was left with only one question.

_Why did I care so much?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys!**

**Again, a huge thank you to my great reviewers! You guys rock!**

**I'm not entirely sure with this chapter, I don't know whether I like it, but nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoy it.**

**The next chapter I'm sure you'll enjoy!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

It had been a long night. Matt was discharged at 1am and we had arrived home at half one in the morning. It was convenient that I made my way to the hospital last night, as we drove home in my car.

Last night the guys had visited Matt before making their own way home and as they walked down the corridor to leave, I saw the relief and happiness in their tired eyes. They waved as they left and I waved back from the waiting room, a magazine that I wasn't really reading in my lap.

Shay came out soon after, a smile on her face. I was sure Matt was fine at this point, I couldn't argue with their happiness. She hugged me as I rose to meet her, discarding the magazine in the seat beside me.

"How is he?" I had asked against her shoulder.

She rubbed my back with her hand, "Tired mostly. The concussion has knocked him for six I think."

I remember thinking how that made sense and along with the fact he had breathing difficulties, Matt was bound to be exhausted.

I nodded and pulled away, "Okay, good," I murmured and for some reason I couldn't meet her eyes, "Are they releasing him now?"

Shay had nodded, "Yeah, he's just filling in some forms and then we'll be out."

"Okay," I say, pulling my car keys from my pocket, "I'll go pull the car around front."

Shay had caught my hand as I brushed past her to leave, "Gabs are you okay?"

I had forced a smile on my face to reassure her, "Yeah I'm good, just tired... Take your time. I'll be outside."

I had sat in the car staring blankly at the bright light of the ER, paying no particular attention to the radio that I'd put on. The night was chilly so I had put the heating on, but I remember thinking that it didn't do anything to warm my cold hands.

The sound of the passenger door opening had made me jump and when I turned my head, Shay was slipping into the seat. Behind me Matt had eased himself into the seat and Kelly shuffled in beside him. I had turned my head and scanned Matt. His fingers were bandaged and he had paper stitches in a cut above his left eye. He had looked tired, but I wasn't concerned that he looked worse than he should have.

"You okay?" I'd asked, my voice sounding worried and tired.

Matt had offered a lazy smile and he stopped himself from nodding, so he didn't hurt his concussed head, "I'm okay..."

I'd nodded back, swallowed thickly and drove us home.

I'd woken up early this morning, my sleep being disturbed for most of the night. When I made my way downstairs I found Kelly sitting on the sofa, a mug of coffee in his hand.

"Morning," I yawned, moving to get my own cup off beloved coffee.

He murmured the greeting back as I poured my drink and moved to sit on the other end of the sofa to him. I took a sip of the hot liquid before speaking, "You okay?"

Kelly moves his eyes from the TV to look at me, "Yeah I'm good Gabs, last night was just a close one, know what I mean?"

I nod and try to comfort him with my eyes, "Yeah... Have you checked on him this morning?"

Kelly's gaze instinctively moves to look up the stairs, "He looked fine... Out of it, but fine."

"Sleep will do him good," I offer, unsure of what to say about him.

Matt was a sweet son of a bitch, an arrogant, cocky pain in my ass who as far as I had seen, treated women as pleasurable desires rather than meaningful pursuits. We had nothing in common, we were always arguing over our differences, always digging at the other to annoy them. I didn't like him in the slightest and I certainly couldn't call him a friend, but last night I'd been more worried about him than I had about anyone else in a long time.

I shake my head at this thought, _I couldn't think or feel about him in this way._

"I've got a favour to ask you," Kelly asks tentatively, the sweet grin that got him almost anything when it came to me creeping onto his face. I narrowed my eyes at him, instantly suspicious because this look in his eye always meant I'd end up doing something I didn't want to.

"What?"

"You know I love you right?" Kelly says with a nervous smile on his face.

I roll my eyes, "Get to the point."

"Shay and I have shift at twelve and I was thinking... because you're not working today..."

I clench my jaw, knowing where he was taking this, "Don't finish that sentence if you want to keep your eyeballs."

"...could you just watch Matt today?" He finishes and instantly covers his face with a pillow.

I groan with distaste, "Kelly you know how much I hate him..."

He scoots across the sofa and throws his arms around me, pulling my tightly against his chest, "I'll buy you all the Ben and Jerry's you want."

"No," I pout, burying my face in his t-shirt. Kelly starts tickling my sides and I fight against him, unable to stop the laughs escaping my mouth.

"Please Gab, I'm begging you..."

"No!"

"I'll buy you Ben and Jerry's, caramel popcorn, lemon pie and honey nut cookies," Kelly listed and he knew he'd won.

He stops tickling me when I don't protest and a huge grin pulls at his lips, "I swear to God Kelly, if you come home and I've killed him, you're doing my years in prison."

Kelly laughs and kisses my head, "Anything for you Gabs."

* * *

"Jeez, if you were running a café Dawson you'd be out of business," Matt snickered from the sofa, flicking through the TV channels.

I grit my teeth as I made the coffee in the kitchen. Matt had been purposely insufferable today and he damn well knew it. I'd almost took a pillow to his face, twice.

"If you want a maid then I'm sure if you call Sarah or Rachel or Tanya they'll be happy to oblige," I hissed, slamming his mug of coffee on the table. I slumped into the armchair, determined to distance myself from him to prevent me killing him.

Matt only chuckled as I listed off his fuck-buddies, "I don't think they're interested in mothering me," he teased, his eyebrows wiggling.

I scoff, "You're disgusting..."

"I've seen the way you look at me Dawson," Matt teases and I resist the urge to throw my coffee at him.

"With disgust and contempt," I retorted, trying to focus on the book I hand in my lap.

Matt chuckles and returns his attention to the TV, momentarily allowing me to get through a page or so of my book. Then after a few moments Matt begins whistling, purposely trying to annoy me.

I decide to ignore him but after a couple of minutes the noise became insufferable. I look up from my book, exasperated and angered, "Don't you have to rest in bed or something?"

"Want to join me?"

I narrow my eyes at him, "Never gonna happen."

The urge I had to wipe the smug smirk off his face was almost unendurable, "You so sure about that?"

"Most definitely," I hiss and get up from the chair, heading towards the bathroom and shutting the door loudly behind me. I use the bathroom and wash my hands, splashing cold water on my face before I dried off.

_Don't hurt him. Keep your cool. Your only playing into his hands._

I open the door and run into Matt, our chests colliding with a thud. I look up and see him smirking down at me, and my stomach was flipping. I was frozen to the spot, no matter how much I wanted to move away from him.

"Smooth," I sarcastically compliment, trying to hide my nervousness.

"Really?" He asks, his head tilting, "I thought I did better at the bar..." Matt says, referring to us dancing at the bar a few days ago.

I swallow nervously, my body flushing at the mention of us together, our bodies so close, "...I was drunk."

"Not drunk enough to not know what was happening," he countered and I couldn't argue with this.

"I'm not into you and I'm not sleeping with you," I snapped angrily, before forcing my body to move and shoving past him, heading for the stairs.

_He was so fucking conceited and arrogant._

* * *

**_Casey_**

I'd gotten back to work the shift later, not wanting to miss another. I was feeling fine and I just had to watch that I didn't hit my fingers against something.

I was helping Cruz re-roll the hoses after we did a routine check of them when Herrmann approached, taking bites of an apple as he walked. He waited as Cruz and I put away the hoses before saying, "How's the head, Casey?"

"Fine. No problems at all. I think it looked worse than it was," I answer, leaning against the Truck to face him. Cruz stands with us, an arm outstretched on the Truck as he used it to support himself.

Herrmann nods at this, "Yeah, that's what I told Gabriela."

I look at him confused, "What do you mean - told Gabriela?"

Cruz looks at me, his forehead creased, "She was at the hospital? Didn't you know?"

"I thought Shay called her to pick us up?"

Herrmann shakes his head, "Nah, she turned up at Lakeshore about half hour after we got there. She called here and Connie told her that we were at the hospital."

Cruz nods when I look at him to support his story, "Yeah, she looked real worried too. She didn't know who it was until she got there though - looked pretty freaked out when she realised it was you."

I was so confused. Why would she care? She hated me?"

"I didn't think-"

Herrmann rolls his eyes, "Yeah, you're each other's worst enemy - I get it. All I'm saying is that she was really worried about you...and relieved when she knew you was okay."

Mills called us and told us that lunch was ready, so I nod to Cruz and Herrmann as we make our way to the breakroom. I sat eating my lunch in silence, thoughts of Gabby running through my head.

_Why would she be so worried? Why do I care so much that she was worried?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! **

**Again I want to thank all you fantastic reviewers out there! I love you guys!**

**I would just like to say that I know Matt and Gabby seem a little OC. They are this way because of their pasts. Overtime they'll become the characters we know and love, but it'll take some time to get there. Remember, Shay described Matt as having a 'heart of gold', so he wasn't always the cocky guy he appears to be. They'll change each other in ways neither expect.**

**I just wanted to clarify this if some of you were confused. But I love writing them like this, it's so refreshing and fun!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter - it's the one you've been waiting for!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

I'd been back in Chicago for almost two months now and I haven't felt this good in years. There was something about being home, being in Chicago that no place in the world could replace. I felt safe here, comforted, belonging, no matter how many memories haunted me here. I'd face them one day sure, but I'd put off that day for as long as possible. I'd left Chicago for a reason and with my return, I feared that my past would resurface, but so far so good. I could only hope.

"Aunt Gabby! Gabby! Can we watch Monsters Inc?! Please!" Diego roared, racing through the living room and throwing himself on the sofa. Eva followed behind at a slower pace, trying to enforce the persona that she wasn't a 'baby' anymore like her brother, but her excitement sparkled in her eyes.

I placed my water on the table and stood to turn on the TV, scanning through the rows and rows of DVDs to find the one they wanted. I turned and saw them fighting over a blanket, practically playing tug-of-war with it.

"Hey you two, the blanket's big enough to share. Stop fighting," I scold and they stop fighting over the blanket, instead shaking it out over them. I watched them for a moment, thinking how similar they looked to Antonio and I when we were young, even if there was a ten-year age gap between us.

The DVD started rolling and I snuggled in beside Diego, putting my arm across the sofa to hug Eva. They watched the film in silence apart for a few laughs and giggles at the funny parts, then until about half way through Diego looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Aunt Gabby?"

I looked down at him with a smile, "Yeah sweetie?"

"Did you like living in Denver?"

Then flashes of Ray and her and her face and the situation flickered through my mind, and I inwardly flinched. _I can't believe he did that. _My heart ached, I felt sick and my body felt cold at the thought of it all.

I forced a smile on my face as I brushed my hands through Diego's fluffy brown hair. Eva listened intently, curious at what I had to say, "Yes, Denver's a beautiful city. Everyday I woke up to a lovely view..."

Diego frowned, "Then why did you come home?"

I tried to brush off the comment with teasing him, "Don't you like having me here then Diego?"

Diego laughed and shook his head, "No Aunt Gabby... I'm really really glad you're home, but Mommy said she didn't know if you'd ever come back..."

Forcing the tears back I smiled down at them both, "Your Mom told you that because Aunt Gabby was really sad when I left Chicago, but I came home because I really missed home and I wanted to spend more time with you guys."

Diego nodded at this, "Because you love us!"

I kiss his head, "Yes, I love you very much."

Eva gazed at me for a few moments before asking bluntly, "Aunt Gabby, were you sad because Grandma and Grandpa died?"

I have to bite my tongue and try to force the tears back, but a few slip down my cheeks, "Yes..."

Diego and Eva never met Mom and Dad, they died when I was eighteen, a year before Eva was born. It was why they could talk so easily about them.

Diego's small hand cups my cheek, "Don't be sad Aunt Gabby..."

I pull them close and kiss both their heads as I murmur, "How could I be sad? I've got you guys haven't I?"

They both chuckle, misery forgotten and yell, "So can we have popcorn Aunt Gabby?"

I laugh and jump up to make the popcorn in the kitchen, "Just don't tell your Mom and Dad when they get home!"

_I realise that I'm not ready to face those demons yet._

* * *

"You know what? I'm so freaking glad that you're home Gabs... you're like...my best friend...and I missed you...and your cooking...I really missed your cooking," Shay drawls drunkenly as she crawls across the sofa and flops into my lap, hiccuping due to the wine we were sharing.

We were having a quiet night in while Matt and Kelly were out with the boys from 51, and it was nice to just be with Shay. I stroked her hair as she lay across my lap, "Well I'm glad you missed me and my cooking, I missed you too..."

She huffs loudly and dramatically, "Good...so tell me, any men on the scene? You've been all over the city, there's..." she pauses to hiccup, "bound to be someone."

I giggle stupidly like a teenager, "No one at all... I'm done with men."

Shay rolls her eyes, "Are you serious? You can't say...that...over one bad relationship."

I raise a drunken brow, "Two bad relationships actually..."

A look of realisation appears in her eyes, "Oh yeah... but come on, you can't let those stop you..."

I don't get a chance to reply as someone stumbles through the door. We pop up over the sofa and see Matt strolling towards us, without Kelly.

"Where's Kelly?" I demand loudly, my sense of pitch disturbed by the alcohol in my body. Matt smirks lazily, "He went home with some brunette... No idea what her name is."

Shay chuckles, "Typical Kelly..." she says before throwing herself back onto the sofa, her arms outstretched widely.

I stay staring at Matt, eyes narrow, "So where's your girl then? Or didn't nobody find your arrogance attractive?"

Matt laughs smugly, "It's not my personality they're interested in."

I laugh at his egotism as he wanders towards the bathroom, "I'm not surprised, you're a first class jerk."

Before the door closes behind him I hear him chuckle. I huff in his direction before sliding down next to Shay, who was texting on her phone.

"So if you're not interested in anyone, I'm assuming your not getting any?" She asks bluntly, not taking her eyes from the phone.

I spit my drink out in shock, "What?"

She raises a brow at me, looking at me with a playful disbelief, "Sex?"

Usually I had little shame whilst drunk, but I could feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment, "What about it?"

Shay huffs and slaps her hands on her knees, "When was the last time you got some?!"

I paused for a moment, sloshing down some more wine to make this talk easier as I was embarrassed, "Um...about two months before I left Denver?"

Her mouth drops with complete shock, "You haven't gotten any in four fucking months?!"

I nod before she exclaims, "How are you coping?!"

"I didn't say I didn't miss sex, just that I wasn't getting any!" I yelled back and Shay didn't get to answer before her phone buzzed.

"Shit," she sighed before getting up and slipping on her shoes, "Kendra's picking me up. We'll talk about this tomorrow!"

"What?" I declare with annoyance, "You're leaving me? What happened to our girls night?"

She waves her hand at me as she pulls her bag over her shoulder, "Booty call, see ya tomorrow!" She calls before she's out the door.

I stare at the door in disbelief, before slumping down into the sofa, frustrated and suddenly bored. I slosh down more wine, unhappy that Shay left me for a booty call with Kendra. _Damn her._

"So you're not getting any huh?"

The voice comes out of nowhere, scaring me so much that I jumped and split wine down my top. I turn on the sofa, to see Matt leaning against the kitchen counter, a smug and mocking smirk on his face.

"Fucking hell Matt!" I yell angrily at him, rushing to the kitchen to get a towel to wipe my now wet and purple shirt. I can feel his eyes on me as I move and I force myself to avoid his gaze as I rub at my shirt which was deeming to be fruitless.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself..." he chuckles, shoving his hands into his jean pockets.

"Clearly," I hiss, narrowing my eyes at him briefly before returning to my shirt.

"So," _the tormenting begins,_ I think, "Four months dry huh?" He must have overheard Shay and I when he came out of the bathroom. I hadn't heard him.

I glare at him with a furious look, shoving past him as I make my way upstairs, "Oh come on Dawson!" I hear him laugh as I slam the door behind me.

I quickly change my shirt, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm myself. I'd go to bed, but I wasn't tired and I really wanted to finish my wine, since Shay left me to wallow alone. I grit my teeth with determination and stomp downstairs, telling myself that I wouldn't let him anger and annoy me.

I find him on the sofa, lounging out sipping at my glass of wine. I huff angrily and swipe the bottle from the table, sitting down on the opposite end of the sofa and taking a long swig.

Matt lulls his head towards me, "Well I guess wine is a close second to sex."

"Fuck you Casey," I growl fiercely, keeping my eyes focused on the TV. He chuckles loudly but continues with his mocking, "Really? I thought you weren't getting any?"

I throw a pillow at him, forcing myself not to look in his direction.

He holds his hands up, "Okay okay, I'll stop mocking you... but seriously, four months?!"

I could feel that my temper was ready to explode, "Knock it off Casey."

He rolls his eyes, "Okay, new question. Why has it been four months?"

I think about ignoring him, I _want _to ignore him, but I'm drunk and my mouth takes off before my brain can catch up and tell myself to shut up, "Because I don't want a relationship... I don't want to have to wake up the next morning and have the horrid 'can I get your number' conversation..."

"Ah," Matt drawls with understanding, "I can relate to that..."

I roll my eyes, "I'm sure..."

The channel Matt had flipped the TV to was playing 'Friends with Benefits' and in my stupid and very drunken mind, popped an idea. Again, I couldn't stop my mouth before it started talking bullshit.

"So why don't we do that?" I blurt out, turning to Matt. He looked at me with a raise eyebrow, "Seriously?"

"Yes I'm serious. I need to get laid and you'll never have to worry about never finding a girl. It's a win-win situation," I explain bluntly.

"But I thought you hated me?" Matt asks incredulously.

"I do," I scoff, "Don't flatter yourself... But that's the point. You hate me, I hate you, there'll be no complications. No feelings. Just sex," I explain, the idea sounding better the more I spoke.

Matt contemplated this, "No strings attached?"

I nod, "No strings attached," I confirm, swigging my wine to keep up my confidence.

_This could work. I hate him, he hates me, no feelings. No expectations of a relationship that'll end in disaster. No fuss. And we both get laid. Problem solved._

Matt smirks, "So just sex?"

"Just sex... But we keep this between us. No one has to know about this," I demand, not wanting Shay or Kelly to know about what we were gonna do.

Matt raises a brow and holds out his hand, "I'm cool with that. Shake on it?"

I shake his hand, "No feelings. No relationships. Just sex."

"Perfect," Matt murmurs quietly, a smirk tugging at his lips.

I soon wiped that grin off his face by taking the wine glass from his hand and putting it on the coffee table. I crawl across the sofa and straddle his hips, rocking my heat against his. I feel a fierce passion take over my body as I snake my hands around his neck, the desire to want him overwhelming me.

His hands grip my ass and I see something different in his eyes, _fucking lust. _Matt looked up at me with an incredulous look, but I could tell he was enjoying himself and pleased with the deal we made.

I lower my head towards his and brush against his lips with my own, smirking, "Let's get started, shall we?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! **

**Thank you for the absolutely wonderful reviews, you guys keep me writing!**

**This chapter is picking up directly where we left off in the last chapter - so be prepared for some sexy steamy Dawson!**

**I'm unsure of when I'll be able to update next. Tomorrow I'll be going to collect my results for my GCSEs, a collection of qualifications for secondary school pupils in the UK! I'm so nervous! This is life changing for me and it's all I've ever worked towards. I hope I do well!**

**So there will not be an update tomorrow, but I'm hoping to get the next one posted by the end of the weekend! So I do apologise in advance for the wait.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

_Was this really happening? _I had to ask myself as Matt laid me down on his bed, in the dark and warm room. I bit my lip as his hands run up my sides.

I hear him chuckle, "Ticklish?" before he repeats the action, causing me to squirm.

I push his hands away from my sides and flip him over, so that I was straddling him once more, pushing him into the covers on the bed. "Shut up," I ordered as I pushed my lips against his, feeling them instantly react to me. I grip his blonde hair, tugging the locks between my fingers as our lips moved in sync, our tongues quickly becoming involved in a fierce battle for dominance.

Matt's hands snake up under my shirt, teasing the skin of my stomach in a way that was both pleasurable and agonising, before he pulls the material from my body. In any normal and moral circumstance, I'd feel insecure and embarrassed, but this was a casual thing, _I didn't have to feel insecure, win-win remember?_

There's no attraction between us - it's just sex.

I return the favour and soon we're both bare chested and panting. I discard myself of my shorts and panties, quickly doing the same to him. I had to admit, no matter how much I hated him, no matter how cocky and arrogant and egotistic he was, Matt was damn near a perfect specimen of a man.

And of course, he had to notice my oogling, "Like what you see?" He smirks cockily as I look up at him, he was clearly enjoying himself, propped up against the pillows, getting a damn good show.

"You'll do," I mutter as pull his face to mine, the battle commencing once more. His tongue teased mine and I instinctively moaned into his mouth as his hands gripped my ass, pushing our lower half's together.

"It's nice to be used," Matt murmurs as I take to kissing down his jaw and neck. This caused his eyes to flutter closed and his breathes to quicken.

"I'm sure you're not unhappy about our agreement. You get laid whenever you want and vice versa," I answer between kisses, _his skin was so warm...and so fucking soft._

I could feel my own skin burning from where Matt had touched me, as if his touch ignited flames on my skin.

"Whenever I want?" He drawls, the prospect appealing to him even more.

I laugh, "Within reason of course."

I lean over to his bedside table and pull open the drawer as our lips collided once more. I pulled out a little blue wrapper and felt as Matt's face creased with confusion, "How did you know?"

Shaking my head I reply, "You're a guy..." I answer before kissing him once more, "They're always within arms length of the bed."

Matt laughs lowly against my neck as I rip open the wrapper, the vibrations echoing through my body. He watched as I rolled the condom onto his hard member, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

His skin was so pale against mine, complete opposites, but I can't resist the urge to kiss his skin, so I don't. My lips travel slowly along his chest and I can feel Matt's eyes on me as he grips my ass tightly with his hands. I rock against him lightly as I capture his lips with mine and he gets the message. Matt lifts my body and I clutch at his shoulders as he lowers me onto him, Matt's rock hard heat filling me.

He strokes the skin he finds at the bottom of my back as I adjust to his size, burying my face into his neck. A few moments later, I kiss his neck and begin moving against him, white-hot pulses of pleasure throbbing deep within my body.

I secure my hands against his shoulders as I move against him and Matt clutches at my waist, murmuring something incoherent into my chest.

My nails dig into Matt's skin as my body shakes against his, throwing my head back as I moan loudly. Moments later Matt follows suit, his chest panting vigorously against mine. I collapse into his chest trying to calm my erratic breathing, my mind fuzzy and clouded with the mind-numbing sensation of pure pleasure.

"Fuck," I breathe as I feel my eyes droop and Matt moves me to his side, pulling the skewered covers over us.

I feel Matt chuckle as I fall asleep, blissfully satisfied in his arms.

* * *

My body was euphorically achy when I woke the next morning, feeling more calm and serene than I had in a long while. As I stretched out my lethargic limps, the chilly air caused goosebumps to erupt on my skin. I felt a soothing heat beside me, so I snatched my arms back under the covers and huddled into the warmth beside me.

The warmth laughed.

I opened one eye, instant shock taking over my body as I saw who was lying beside me, _Matt._

Then it all came flashing back.

_Shay rushing out the door...Matt overhearing our conversation about my lack of sex...My propsal of the win-win situation...Me straddling his hips...Matt making me feel so alive..._

"We-?" I murmur incredulously and he nods, a small grin tugging at his lips.

"We did."

And he seemed so happy about it. I sit up in the bed, pulling the covers around me. I saw him naked for the first time without alcohol clouding my brain and god damn he was gorgeous. _We had sex._

Matt raises a brow as I clutch the sheets to my chest, "We were pretty drunk."

"I remember what we agreed..." I reassure, feeling an abundance of nerves in my stomach. _I really really didn't like him at all, but the sex, the sex was amazing._

He raises his hands, "You don't want to continue it?"

I shake my head furiously, "No, no... Like we said, it's just sex."

"You really want to do this?" He says with disbelief, one of his hands tangled within his fairly long blonde locks.

I nod, "Unless you don't too?"

Matt raises a cocky brow, "No-strings sex? I'm a guy, I'm not gonna pass up that."

I laugh, "Good because I don't want you too."

He watches me with a knowing look, "Someone enjoyed yourself," he whispers as he leans into my face, his voice husky with sleep. I swallow thickly, my stomach fluttering, "Maybe..."

I was ready to pounce on him once more but I heard the front door opening downstairs.

"Shit," I murmur hastily, jumping out of bed and rushing around to collect my clothes. Matt chuckles as he watches me move quickly, leaning up against the bed frame with his hands tucked behind his head.

"Enjoying the view?" I tease as I pull the shirt over my head.

"Something like that," Matt answers arrogantly as I slip out the door, flipping him the bird before I rush out of sight. I run into my room and close the door quietly so that whoever was downstairs didn't hear. I lean against the door and let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding.

_Wow._

* * *

That sweet son of a bitch. God he was infuriating. He's a sorry pain in my ass.

I drove up to 51 with a raging temper due to tiredness and Matt, bumping up against the curb as I parked. It was seven in the evening and after working 10 gruelling hours where I barely had chance to get a drink, I just wanted to go home, take a long hot shower and sleep.

But no... Somehow, Matt had stolen my apartment key this morning as I rushed out the door, so when I pulled up at the apartment block fifteen minutes ago and tried to get in, I couldn't. My key was no longer on my keyring, instead, in its place was Matt's Blackhawk keyring.

I jumped back in my car and headed off for 51, cursing bloody murder under my breath.

I was happy that the Truck's were parked neatly in the garage as I pulled up. I jumped out of my car, still dressed in my blue work trousers and CFD shirt, practically stomping into the house.

I saw Cruz and Otis standing outside as I passed, waving at them quickly, "You look like you're ready to kill someone..." Cruz noted.

"Oh I am," I answered as I swung open the door.

I spotted Shay and Kelly sitting at the table with Mills and Herrmann and walked up to them, "Oh hey girl..." Shay called as she stood to hug me.

"You owe me for last night," I stated with narrow eyes as Shay swats my arm with a laugh, "Oh come on Gabs."

Mills looked up at us curiously, "What happened last night?"

"She," I started whilst pointing at a giggling Shay, "Left me drunk and alone so she could galavant off to get laid."

"Oh, I'm sure you found something to do," she answered casually and she didn't know right she was, which brought me back to why I was here.

I looked around, "Where is he?"

"Matt?" Kelly asked and I nodded, "In the shower I think, why?"

I started off towards the showers, "The bastard stole my key so I was locked out of the apartment..."

Bellowing laughter echoed from the breakroom as I headed for the showers ferocious anger burning inside me. I threw open the door and stormed in, shutting it behind me.

"You sweet son of a bitch," I hiss loudly over the running of the water. A loud laugh echoed over the noise, Matt was clearly enjoying himself.

"Where's my key?" I demand forcefully, watching as his pale form moved behind the misty shower curtain. The water turns off and he wraps a white towel around his waist before he throws back the curtain and steps out. I instinctively bite my lip as I gaze at his wet body.

_Oh damn. _

Matt leans up against the sinks, crossing his arms over his chest as I narrow my eyes at him, watching as his eyes sparkle with humor, "In my locker."

He was challenging me, "What's the code for your locker?"

Matt shakes his head as a chuckle escapes his lips, "Now that, I'm not telling you."

"I want to go home," I essentially pouting at this point.

Matt suddenly reaches out and grabs my hand, pulling me to him. My chest collides with his wet and hard one, and I instantly felt aroused. Matt pulls my face to his, pushing those so fucking soft lips against mine. I moaned deeply into his mouth.

I walk backwards to another shower stall that wasn't wet and pull us both inside. Matt pulls my shirt off and throws it on the floor as I remove his towel, pressing my body against his naked one. Matt cups my ass tightly and lifts me, coaxing me to wrap my legs around his waist.

Matt nibbles at my neck as I moan, "Fuck you..."

I felt his chuckle vibrate through my body, "What?"

"You only stole my keys to get me here," I state with realisation, humming as he kissed the spot just behind my ear. He nods against my body.

"You're a pain in my ass, you know that?"

"So you want me to stop?" He asks smugly as he runs a hand down my stomach and into my trousers, rubbing my sweet spot.

I throw my head back as I shook with undeniable pleasure, "Oh god no."

And then we collided in a fit of fierce need and desire, caring about nothing but our bodies pressed tightly together and our breaths coming in short pants in unison.

_Sex with Matt? Oh yes._


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone! **

**I do apologize for the delay of this chapter, as some of you may know I was just given my GCSE results... And I passed everything!**

**I gained 5A*s, 2As, 2Bs, a C and I passed all of my other courses! I'm so happy! I'm glad that the work I put in payed off and my results were one of the top 6% in the school! I've never been so proud of myself!**

**And thank you to those who wished me good luck! I appreciate it!**

**I do hope you guys enjoy this chapter, I adored writing it!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Casey_**

It had been two weeks since Gabby and I began our 'enemies with benefits' relationship and to be frank, it was working out well for the both of us. With us both being so busy lately it took away the whole 'meeting someone at a bar and taking them home' ordeal, which took up so much time, so it was an easy answer to our problems.

_And the sex was fucking fantastic._

There's something about her, you wouldn't think it from looking at Gabby, but she's so sensual and passionate and wild that the sex I was having with her was nothing like I'd experienced before. And that's not to say that she's not a pain in my ass anymore, because she is. She's overly stubborn, single-minded, argumentative and incredibly guarded. I knew she didn't let many people in and I knew she struggled with doing so.

We'd done a pretty good job of keeping Shay and Kelly in the dark because it was just sex, no feelings, so it was easy to do, because nothing had changed between us. We both still got on each other's nerves. That's not to say we haven't had a few close misses, there's been a good few, the last being yesterday.

_I pushed Gabby against the bathroom door with such fierce need that she moaned deeply into my mouth. I pulled at the pyjama shorts that she was wearing and slid them down her legs, letting her step out of them. I curled my hands at her lower back, pushing up her shirt so that I could tease the skin there with my fingers, knowing that it was one of her many weak spots. _

_She'd already gotten rid of my jeans and now she was working with my shirt, lifting it from my head, breaking our kiss for the slightest of moments. Gabby tugs at my lips gently with her teeth, knowing just how much it drove me crazy. Roughly I pull the shirt from her body, dropping it on the floor with the rest of our discarded clothes. _

_We stood in our underwear, bodies pressed tightly together with fierce passion, and the realisation suddenly dawned on me... It was like our bodies were moulded for each other with how perfect we fit together. _

_I hadn't realised that I was looking down at our bodies when Gabby pulled at my chin, pulling me down so that I could kiss her. I felt her run her hands through my hair, tugging at it as I cupped her ass. _

_With one hand I ran my fingers from her ass to her heat, teasing her over the material of her underwear. I felt her push her hips into my hand and smiled against her lips._

_"Don't act so smug," she sighed as she closed her eyes and pulled harder on my hair. _

_I watched as she bit her lip tightly, an act that I fucking loved, as I began to pull the panties ever so slowly down her legs. _

_Then I heard the front door open and Kelly and Shay walk through, talking about something or other. Gabby groans with annoyance as I pull her panties back up her legs. We practically fall over each other pulling on our clothes. _

_"Guys? Anyone home?" I hear Shay call._

_I kiss Gabby's lips as I slip out the door, "You seriously can't expect to just leave this here..." she whispers._

_I grin, "Certainly not," I answer and rush out to distract Shay and Kelly from discovering Gabby just yet, as she was still half dressed. _

We'd had many close calls like that one, but it wasn't stopping us in the slightest.

I walked into 51 with Shay and Kelly thinking that it'd be just another normal Wednesday shift, but it wasn't. Macaulay had called in sick and Shay was without a PIC, so Boden was calling for a replacement. Half an hour later, Gabby turned up at 51.

She plopped down beside Shay on the table, resting her head against the hard surface, complaining, "This is first day I've had off in 6 days and all I wanted to do is curl up in a ball and eat ice-cream... But no, damn Macaulay and his stupid sickness bug..."

Shay laughs as she rubs Gabby's back and I roll my eyes, "And it's not like you've been drafted in to one of the busiest house's in the city," Shay teases sarcastically.

"Fuck off Shay," Gabby groans, "I need sleep."

Shay raises a brow at this, even though Gabby couldn't see her, "Oh yeah, because you've spending so much time with this new beau of yours."

_Fuck._

I try to look as ingenuous as possible as I pretend to read through the paper. Gabby slowly raises her head from the table and looks at Shay with bewilderment, "There's no beau."

Shay rolls her eyes, not believing a word she says, "Well you're suddenly getting laid."

Gabby scoffs, "Excuse me?" and Shay pokes her in the nose.

"Don't lie to me... So who isit?"

Then I see that wicked glint in Gabby's eyes that drove me crazy, "You know the gay guy down the hall?"

Shay nods, "Well I'm working on turning him..."

Shay slaps Gabby's arm at this and Gabby laughs, "You're such a bitch."

Gabby doesn't haven't time to answer before the bells ring, calling us to a warehouse a mile or two away.

Herrmann claps Gabby on the shoulder as we all rush, "Welcome to 51, Dawson!"

When we pulled up to the warehouse it was clear that it was a storage warehouse for a furniture store, and an entire aisle of shelves had collapsed. A guy rushed up to us, telling us that only one guy was badly injured and he needed immediate help.

Chief found a suitable place to oversee the rescue, and Kelly and his men went to get the appropriate equipment from the Squad truck. I sent Otis and Cruz to help Shay and Gabby with the victim when I heard a painful screech and Gabby yelling "Sir don't!"

But the guy obviously hadn't listened as the screaming continues and everyone beside the victim began rushing around him. I rushed over with Herrmann and Chief, coming to the realisation that the guy had been impaled in the leg by a metal rod and had removed it.

Blood was spurting out everywhere and the guy was quickly losing his colour, and by how quickly Shay and Dawson was moving, they were losing him. Shay was working on inserting an IV and Gabby pressed her gloved hand into his wound, a slash of blood on her cheek.

In the panic the uninjured guy called the injured guy Jeff so then Gabby exclaimed, "Jeff, I need you to stay calm okay? Take slow deep breaths alright?"

I crouched down by Jeff's head and held his head in my hands, forcing him to focus on me, "Okay Jeff, we're gonna take deep breaths together. Ready..."

Gabby momentarily looked at me before she returned to his leg, blood drenching her arms and clothes. After inserting the IV, Shay took over with gauzes and pushed them into his leg.

"I need a damn tourniquet!" Gabby yelped as she searched through the bag, finding none. So she pulled off the belt of her trousers and tied it tightly around the top of Jeff's leg, everyone watching her with awe as she moved with speed but complete efficiency.

"He's losing consciousness guys," I tell them as I try to keep Jeff awake by tapping his face and calling his name.

Gabby looks up at Shay, "I'm gonna have to clamp the artery or he isn't gonna make it to the hospital."

"You think you can get it?" Shay asks and Gabby swallows thickly, looking up at Jeff's face. When she looks at me, with determination but fear, I nod at her.

She takes a deep breath and takes a clamp from the EMT bag, "I can get it."

"Okay, keep an eye on his BP Shay, it'll drop fast when you move your hands."

Shay nods, "You'll have about ten seconds, maybe fifteen, before he'll lose too much blood."

Again Gabby swallows and nods, "On three okay? One...two...three."

Shay moves away quickly and Gabby instantly takes her place, her hand diving in within the blood. She was holding her breath as she tried to find the vein and the entire room seemed to silence, everyone staring at Gabby anxiously. Then, ten seconds later, I heard that clamp click into place.

Waves of relief washed over Gabby's face as she leaned back and let out the breath she was holding, allowing Shay to move in with more gauze. They packed the wound and taped it, "His BP's stable," Shay reassured.

Gabby nodded letting out another breath, "Let's get him on the back board."

As we rolled Jeff out of the building, Gabby looked up at me once again and I nodded at her, telling her with my eyes that she did great.

After we cleared the scene and drove back to 51, Herrmann said, "Dawson's one hell of a PIC."

Otis nodded, "I don't think that he'd have made it if she hadn't clamped his vein."

"And she didn't seem to flinch either," Mills added.

_Yet I knew how afraid she'd been of screwing up, I saw it in her eyes, but she did it anyway to save the patient. I couldn't help but feel an awful amount of respect for her, after seeing her work in the field. I had watched her in awe of how she worked, of how committed she was and of how good she was. Her and Shay were a great team, and well, even having Gabby around is better than Macaulay._

* * *

I was working on the report of the warehouse scene when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in," I murmured without looking up, focusing on finishing up the sentence I was on. I heard the door open and close quickly, and when I turned around, Gabby was pressed against the door, looking considerably flustered.

My face screwed up as I looked at her, "You okay?"

She nods, "Yeah...yeah... Just thought we were gonna lose that guy."

I lean back in my chair, "Well we didn't. You and Shay saved his life," I assure confidently.

Gabby huffs and sits down on my bed, wiping her now blood free face, "Couldn't have saved him if you didn't calm him down. You did a good job."

I grin at her, hoping to raise her spirits with my next comment, "Gabriela Dawson? Are you actually admitting that I'm good a something?"

She narrows her eyes at me, "I've never said that you're awful at your job... Just at sex," she teases playfully.

Smirking wickedly and smugly at her I rise from my seat and walk towards the door, flipping the lock. I watch as Gabby swallows thickly, watching me with wide anticipatory eyes. She tenses her legs as I draw the blinds, gnawing at her lips nervously.

Slowly, I reach down and grasp her hand, pulling her up and off the bed towards me. Gabby leans in to kiss me, but I turn her with my hands on her arms, pressing her back up against my chest. I hear her gasp in shock and I smirk against her neck.

I brush away her ponytail as run my nose from ear to neck, watching as goosebumps erupt on her skin. I press a kiss against the mocha shoulder, hearing her mumble "Matt," as she leans her head against my shoulder.

My hands snake around her middle and pull up her shirt, teasing the skin between the shirt and her trousers, "I didn't mean it," she confesses, referring to her earlier statement to try to get me to stop teasing her.

"I know," I whisper against her skin, relishing in how warm it was against my lips.

I feel Gabby's body tense as she hears the slight 'pop' of her trousers unbuttoning and she sighs once more, "Then what are you doing?"

I run my finger along the waist band of her panties, "I think it's pretty obvious."

A groan of frustration escapes her pink lips, "It's driving me crazy."

I slip my fingers into her panties and Gabby moans loudly, "That's the idea..." I answer, turning her head so that I could capture her lips in my own, ensuring that no one would hear her moans.

I take Gabby to her breaking point, slowly sliding my fingers in and out of her, curling them inside her, whilst teasing her sweet spot, all whilst standing up. I kiss her neck as her head lulls against my shoulder, her breathes quick and shallow, her eyes clenched tightly shut.

Then she shatters around me and I have to keep my arm wrapped firmly around her waist otherwise she'll collapse, her knees giving out beneath her. Moans and huffs of air escape her lips, her body quivering against mine.

A few moments later as she was readjusting her trousers she notices me smirking at her, "You're a cocky son of a bitch, you know that right?"

I nod, "You've told me multiple times..." but then her face falls and she steps towards me, a sad look in her eye.

Her hand cups my cheek, "She really hurt you," Gabby states quietly, _Hallie._

I can't say anything, "You don't have to be something you're not Matt," she murmurs, but the words weren't condescending or hurtful, they were caring and it shocked me.

Gabby quickly slips through the door and then she's gone, leaving me staring at the space she once occupied, wondering why the hell she cared and why I did too.

_And wondering what the hell she meant. _


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone!**

**A massive thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter! I really appreciate it and will be taking your reviews on board.**

**This chapter may ask more questions than answer them, but Gabby is still a big mystery to Matt and he knows little about her past. It won't be easy for Gabby to tell him everything, if she tells him at all, Matt may have to refer to other means to figuring her out. And Matt also has secrets, secrets that Gabby will become more aware of in the coming chapters.**

**I hope you enjoy this one! There's also a little surprise thrown in for you all!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

"Did you just voluntarily give Matt coffee?" Shay asks with a baffled tone as I try to balance her coffee, as well as Kelly's and my own, in my hands.

I narrowed my eyes at her for making a scene out of this, "To save him nagging me for coffee, that's why."

The teasing look in her eye was tempting me to throw the hot liquid into her lap as I plopped down beside her, "Yeah right, that's why you two have stopped arguing so much lately."

Matt shrugs this off when Shay looks at him, "I still think that she's a bitch."

I glared at him, "And I still think that you're an asshole."

Kelly ruffles my hair, "You still holding a grudge Gab? Come on, that can't be fair to the guy!"

I shake my head, "I'm not holding a grudge..."

Matt laughs from the arm-chair, "Nah, she just hates me," he says, giving me a quick look that told me that he was really amused at the fact that he was teasing me. Thinking that I'd be getting him back for this, I nod my head.

"Too right."

"...So Kelly, who's this cop chick you're hooked up with?" I ask a few moments later and watch as Kelly turns to glare at Shay, as she'd been the one to tell me about this cop.

I nudge his stomach lightly, "Come on Kel, you can tell me."

He lets out a breath of air, a twinkle in his eye that I never got to see enough of as he began to talk about her. Whoever she was, I knew that she was special to him. More than just a booty-call and a few hook ups, she meant something to him.

"We're taking it slow," he answers, focusing anywhere but my scrutinizing eyes. I laughed at him.

"That's code for 'I really dig this chick' Kel, who is she?"

"It's Erin..." he answers with a soft look in his eye as he looked down at me and I couldn't meet his gaze for long before I looked away. I felt Shay rest a hand over mine.

_They all came rushing back, the memories of that night flooding my mind like a dam had been broken. Erin knew, she knew everything, she was there._

"Erin's a really great girl Kelly," I murmur quietly, acutely aware of Matt watching Kelly and I with a look of deep confusion in his eyes. Wondering why all of a sudden I couldn't meet his eyes.

"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how and Shay said that I needed tell you. So that's why she told you that I was dating someone to get you to ask me... She didn't want to keep you in the dark and I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how," Kelly explains, running his hand back and forth my arm to comfort me.

I nod my head, straining to keep the tears at bay, "I get it. It's okay..."

"Who's Erin?" Matt finally asks, probably feeling kept out of the loop. I look up at Kelly and tell him with my eyes not to tell Matt, I didn't him, or anyone, to know.

"She works with my brother at District 21... I've known her since I was eighteen..." I explain before I can't take no more and I stand and head for my room, pangs of buried guilt finally resurfacing and hurting me more than ever.

I could feel Matt's eyes on me as I walked up the stairs, hearing Shay explain, "They had a big falling out a few years back and they haven't talked since."

I lock my bedroom door behind me, throwing myself onto the bed as the tears began slipping down my face. _I wasn't sure that I could face Erin after six years, after everything I'd said and done. There had been a few times where I had to be around her due to Antonio working with her and staying friends over the years. Times where I'd seen her after visiting everyone at 21. I knew that Shay and Kelly were still friends with her, but they never really mentioned her to me. _

_But I'd never expected for Kelly and her to get together. Truth is, I should've seen it coming. It had been obvious for years. _

I wasn't sure if I could handle seeing her. Erin was tied to that night, tied to it until the end of time just as I was. She was a constant reminder of what happened. Could I deal with seeing her with Kelly? Here? At the apartment?

_I would have too, if she'd found happiness with Kelly then she deserved it. I was the one at fault._

* * *

"Who you calling?" Matt asked casually as I grabbed the house phone from the coffee table. When I was in my room earlier I'd heard Kelly leave, presumably to see Erin, and Shay leave too, heading out for a date.

I'd emerged when I thought it was safe, but I found Matt on the sofa watching TV and I wasn't going to cower away from him, he didn't know about that night nearly six years ago. He didn't need to know.

"The hospital," I answer quickly as I dial Lakeshore's number and Matt looks up at me with genuine concern.

"Checking up on the kid from yesterday? Dawson no," he says as he gets up and tries to take the phone from me. I push him away as the line connects.

"Dawson, I'm serious. Don't do this to yourself," Matt says as I explain why I was calling to the man on the other end of the line.

_"You're the paramedic who brought him in?... Okay, just hold on a sec..." _the man sighs and Matt gives up on pulling the phone from my hand.

_"I'm sorry miss, we lost him earlier this morning..." _I murmur a thank you and hang up, the phone slipping from my hand.

I was so numb that I couldn't cry, even though I wanted to. Matt seems to understand as he exhales slowly, kneeling down beside me. I stare out the window, watching as a street light flickered quickly, the light hurting my eyes. When I feel Matt's hand rest on my knee, I slowly look at him, his face was full of concern and sadness.

"It wasn't your fault," he says quietly, those beautiful blue eyes full of honesty.

I shake my head, "I've screwed up so many things."

Matt's hands cup my own, "I don't believe that."

I laugh darkly, entranced by our hands intertwined together, "You've known me for a few months Matt and we don't even get along. We're using each other for sex - don't you see how screwed up that is?"

"I know that you're a good person and it's not screwed up... it's human."

More tears trail down my flushed face, "Kelly didn't tell me about Erin because he didn't want to make me feel awkward. But the truth is, he's not gonna want to bring her home in case I run into her. Their relationship just became a whole lot more complicated because of me..."

My hands were so warmed in Matt's and I wanted to push my body closer to his, I wanted his arms around me, but I didn't dare move, "What happened between you and Erin?"

I shake my head as tears run down my fast much more quickly, "She did nothing wrong... It was me, Matt..."

He pulls my head into his chest, rubbing a now free hand in circles on my back, "What happened?" he murmurs as I sob into his shirt.

"I blamed her... for everything..."

"Gabby-"

"She's the reason I'm not dead, Matt."

There was no way that Matt could be anymore confused if he tried, but I couldn't speak about it. _I couldn't. _It hurt too much, and I couldn't let him in. I whisper a 'thank you' against his chest and bolt out of his arms and up the stairs, hiding away in my room.

_Hiding from everything._

* * *

_**Severide**_

"You told her?" Erin asks quietly as she fiddles with the buttons of my shirt, resting against my chest. My arm was wrapped around her back as we lay on the sofa, no longer watching whatever was on the TV before us.

I nod as I take a sip of my beer, "Shay didn't want to keep it from her any longer and I can't say that I disagreed."

Moments passed before she spoke again, "How did she take it?"

I sigh deeply, "She was upset with herself."

"I want to talk to her," Erin says with determination, her raspy voice echoing in my head. I clutch her hand on my chest, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"I don't think that it's a good idea Erin, not right now..."

"Why?" She questions fiercely, "We can make it right. I think we both need that."

I frown, Erin had a point, a good point, she always had, but Gabby wasn't ready, "Gabby's fragile Erin, she's not who she was before. She does a good job hiding it, but she's hurting."

Erin sighs sadly, pained creases appearing in her forehead, "Her parents were killed six years ago Kelly, she needs to deal with it or it'll ruin her forever..."

"I know," I murmur, unable to meet her eyes for a moment, "I think something happened to her in Denver."

"Like what?" Erin answers, dropping the subject for now at least.

I shake my head, "I don't know, all I know is that one minute she never wanted to come back to Chicago and the next, she's moving in with us. Something happened, maybe something with her boyfriend."

Erin hears the hidden message in my words, like she always did, "You want me to do some digging."

I nod, "If you can, please."

Erin reaches up and presses a kiss against my lips, "If it'll help Gabby, then yes, I'll do it."

"Thank you," I answer quietly, placing my beer on the floor before I pulled Erin up and onto my lap, kissing her fiercely and passionately.

_Somehow, I had to find a way to help Gabby, to help her and Erin reconnect._

* * *

"Otis, man, you're so gonna lose this bet," Cruz mocks as he helps Mills out in the kitchen. Otis sulks and drops his newspaper on the table, turning in his chair to argue back.

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Cruz."

A loud huff of distaste escapes from Mouch from behind me on his couch and I swivel my head to look at him, "Please tell me that you two are not betting against Casey."

Otis rolls his eyes, "We're _not_ betting against him, we're betting on how much he'll pass the test by. I say 80-90% and Cruz says 90-100%, we're only betting on how smart he is."

After Hines had retired last week Matt had filled in for him while the he waited for the results of his Lieutenant's exam. I was sure that he'd ace it, but we could only wait and see. Matt had gone to collect his results half hour ago and now we were waiting, hoping for good news.

Mouch rolls his eyes, "Tell him that when he's your Lieutenant."

Herrmann chuckles beside me, "Nah, Cruz and Otis are too scared of him for that..."

"Hey!" Cruz exclaims with a wooden spoon in his hand, "You guys have seen what kind of punch he throws!"

Mills looks at Cruz with confusion, "Who did Casey punch?"

"Ted Griffin, he's an internal investigator that was talking trash about Casey's family. Casey had enough of it and lost it," I explain to Mills, but this only leaves him with more questions.

"What happened to Casey's family?" Mills asks innocently and we guys look at each other, knowing looks of sadness and loyalty to our brother. Now wasn't the time to explain further.

Then Boden entered the room, hands on his hips with an unreadable expression on his face.

"So Chief? You heard from Casey?" I ask with expectation and we look all look up at him. Shay bounces up beside the Chief, a look of excitement on her face.

Chief nods a grin spreads wide on his face, "He passed, with a 97," he says for Cruz's benefit, who cheers loudly, "Otis you owe him 100 dollars," Chief chuckles, obviously aware of their bet.

"When Casey gets back, he's officially your new Lieutenant on Truck."

Herrmann rasps a quiet chuckle, "He's been our Lieutenant for a long while now Chief."

Boden pretends to act confused, "Hines had been training him up for months!" I laugh at the Chief, who shakes his head with a cunning grin.

"Just don't tell him that... Oh, and I've got something else to tell you all."

We look at him with confusion and curiosity, before Macaulay appears by his side, "Macaulay is moving to New York with his wife. Starting next shift you'll have a new PIC."

Shay swats Macaulay, "Damn, why didn't you tell me? I'm gonna have to get used to someone new?"

Macaulay looks exasperated, "I sure doubt that."

"Why?"

Chief then takes over, "Gabriela's joining 51."


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone!**

**I'm updating as much as I can because I will be starting school again next week and my updates won't be as frequent. Plus, I love writing this story.**

**I can't thank you all enough for all you're kind reviews, I love them!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! You'll find out more about Gabby's past and you'll see a change in Matt also. **

**oxoxo**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"As I'm sure you all know as you've already celebrated," Chief grins in the briefing room at the multiple hungover faces looking up at him, "That Matthew has been promoted to Lieutenant of Truck... Well done Matthew, we all know that you deserve it."

Matt nodded his head at the Chief as Severide clapped him on the shoulder and the guys cheers. A smile tugged at my lips and I couldn't help but feel proud of him, he'd really worked hard to get where he was.

Herrmann throws an arm around Matt's shoulders, "Ah guys, I'm getting a little emotional right now... I still remember when you were a wee Candidate, small and lost and frightened of us big burly firefighters... And look at you now, Papa Herrmann is proud," Herrmann jokes with fake tears, although you could hear past the teasing and to his pride for Matt.

This causes the guys to laugh and Matt to swat Herrmann in the chest, "Shows how old you are Herrmann."

Herrmann grips Matt in a headlock and ruffles his blonde hair mercilessly, "Just because you're my Lieutenant now it doesn't mean you get to make old jokes, ya hear?!"

Matt struggles out of Herrmann's grasp, jabbing him lightly in the ribs as he went, "I apologise Herrmann, I shouldn't mock your many years on this planet."

Herrmann looks up at the Chief, "Chief, can we just hold off on his promotion for just a sec? I need to teach this kid some manners..."

Chief Boden shakes his head at their ribbing of each other, choosing to ignore them instead, "And I'd also like to take this opportunity to give Gabriela a warm welcome on her first permanent shift here at 51. You're a part of this family now Gabriela, if you weren't already."

I murmur an honest 'thank you' to the Chief as the guys cheer once more, feeling multiple pats on my back or claps on my shoulder. Cruz pulls me to his chest in a one arm hug chuckling, "Well who can't be grateful? Now we have two great cooks in-house!"

"It's lovely to be appreciated just for my culinary skills," I roll my eyes jokingly, feeling Cruz laugh some more against me.

Cruz waves his hand with fake nonchalance, "Yeah, it's not like you're a kick ass paramedic or anything."

I swat his chest with my hand, "I think it's best if I don't cook dinner for you guys for that comment Cruz."

Echoes of groans of complaint sound throughout the room, "Cruz you idiot! I was gonna have a shift off!" Mills yelps.

Cruz throws himself to the floor, kneeling before me, cupping my hands in his with such a dramatic look in his eyes that I burst out laughing, "Gabriela Dawson, you've brought your great culinary expertise and you're badass EMT skills to firehouse 51. We really love you... So I beg of you, Dawson, will you please make dinner for us all on this fine Chicago day?"

I had to wipe hysterical tears from my eyes, "If you promise not to propose then yes..."

Cruz nods profusely and the guys around us chuckled loudly at his antics, and immediately I knew that this place was home and that these people were family.

* * *

_**Severide**_

"Alright 51, I'm calling it. Truck 81, Squad 3, evacuate the building," Chief ordered over the radio as we pounded through the thick smoke, flames licking at the floor boards.

Matt, Herrmann and I were clearing the top floor when we began to head to staircase, "You got it Chief, we're on our way."

We made our way down the staircase, picking up our men as we made our way down, everyone using the same staircase because it was the most stable. As we passed the door leading to the second floor, Matt stopped suddenly. I almost bumped into him, "Matt, what is it?"

By now our men had stopped also, "Can you hear that?"

I listened for a moment before I heard a distant yelling coming from the second floor, I nodded at Matt who lurched for the door, opening it. I chased after him, "Matt!"

Some of the men tried to follow us but I waved them down the stairs, "I've got him. Get out of here!" They obeyed the orders, but they didn't like it. Begrudgingly, everyone made their way down the stairs and out of the building.

Matt was clearing the rooms again when I caught up with him, "Fire Department, call out!" Matt yelled over the sound of the crackling flames that we were so accustomed to.

The radio came to life once more, "Casey! Severide! Get your damn asses out of there!"

"Just getting one more victim Chief," Matt answered cooly as we reached the apartment that the noise was coming from. Matt quickly found a young teenage girl and scooped her up in his arms, saying, "We'll get you out of here miss."

We headed back to the staircase, the flames feeling much hotter than they had a few moments ago. We moved much more quickly this time, knowing that when Chief called it that he called it for a reason, and we didn't have long.

Sunshine soon came into view and we were home free, throwing our masks off and coughing lightly as Matt laid the girl on the gurney. Gabby watched us with deep concern, fear sparkling in her eyes, whilst Shay only looked annoyed, she'd heard this so many times before, Gabby had not.

Gabby quickly turned to the victim and soon enough, 61 was racing off towards the nearest hospital.

Chief said nothing, he only looked at Matt and I with a stern face that also held understanding. He knew that we couldn't leave a victim after hearing them scream for help, orders or not.

I head over to Matt as the guys got ready to head back to 51, "You know you have nothing to prove, right?"

Matt nods but he seems to be biting his tongue, "That wasn't about my ego Kelly, I heard her call out and I did my job."

I lean against Matt's passenger door, stopping him from climbing inside Truck, "I know it was nothing to do with your ego, which I seem to be seeing much less of lately."

Matt rolls his eyes, "And that's a bad thing?"

I shake my head, observing his body language. To anyone else it was casual, but to me, I could clearly see that I was making him nervous. The thing was, I didn't yet know why, "No, I'm just questioning why you're cocky alter-ego has decided to piss off."

Matt sighs and refrains from answering for a few moments, looking anywhere but me until finally, he looks me in the eyes and I knew that his next words were genuine, "I can't be an asshole forever Kelly."

"So you're no longer bumming around over Hallie?"

He nods shortly, "If you want to call it that yeah..."

"Can I ask why?" Wondering what the hell has made him change back from his cocky persona to the man I called my best friend.

"I don't know if there is a why yet..." he answers which made me more curious, before Capp called that they were ready to leave. Matt's men were ready too, so I nod at him and run off towards the truck, knowing that if I pushed Matt, I'd get no where.

After getting a phone call from Erin whilst on our way back to 51, when Shay returns with Gabby I wait for them to be separated before I approached Shay. I nudge her shoulder and guide her towards my office, shutting the door behind us.

"Kel?" She asks with a worried confusion in her voice, "What's up?"

I lean up against my desk and rub my face with my hands, "We need to talk about Gabby..."

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"You did what?!" I screech angrily at Shay and Kelly, standing fiercely before them beside the staircase. Matt was upstairs, but I was thinking after hearing all the yelling that he wouldn't be there for much longer.

Shay throws her arms up with exasperated hands, "Kelly was worried, so he asked Erin to do some digging. I think after what we found out that he reason to be worried!"

I point my finger at her as she stood a few feet in front of me, Kelly hovering by her side watching our exchange. Rage shook my body in ways it rarely did and I felt fear deep within my stomach, "You had no right to go snooping around! And to Erin of all people! I'm assuming that my brother knows as well?"

Shay chuckles darkly, "I think that getting angry over this is a bit rich coming from you! Ray's married Gabby, and you were sleeping with him! You were having an affair!"

I felt as if the air had been knocked out of my body, _she and Kelly hadn't even asked for my side before they began yelling, _"You haven't even asked me about it! You just assumed from what Erin has told you!"

Sure enough Matt had come down the stairs at this point, his face shocked at our loud arguing, but he doesn't speak, too afraid to interrupt as he'd never seen any of us like this.

I pointed my finger at Kelly, "You had no right, Kelly! I moved back to get away from it and you just brought it all back!"

Kelly runs his hand down his face, "You ruined a family Gabs..."

"I didn't know he was married!" I screech furiously, vulnerability and shame seeping into my voice. Shay and Kelly look incredulously at me, and I felt Matt's eyes bore into my back.

"I didn't know he was married! He worked so hard to hide everything from me, the apartment I thought was his was rented so he could cheat on his wife! When I found out he was married I went straight to his house and told his wife! I didn't know!"

Shay's mouth drops open and Kelly's body slumps with realisation, "Gabby, hunny..."

I cut her off, "Save it. I can't believe that you thought that I'm some cheap hussy home-wrecker...I found out who he was because he cheated _on me _too."

After this I race out the door, not bothering to wait for their reactions, _they didn't even let me explain before they jumped to conclusions._

_And now they know, they know everything. _

And soon my feet are roughly pounding against the pavement, heading anywhere but the apartment. I could feel my heart in my chest, aching with pain and sorrow, tears running down my face and blurring my vision.

Somehow I ended up in the diner a couple of blocks away from the apartment, collapsing in the booth, trying to clear my face of tears. I ask the waitress, who wore a tentative and concerned look, for a coffee and she nodded, slowly moving to get it whilst keeping on eye on me. She seemed sure of my imminent breakdown and I was becoming more aware of it.

I was staring at the clock, 7:58pm, when a figure slid in the booth opposite me. Through watery eyes I saw Matt sitting across from me, his face understanding and solemn, and I saw that he wasn't judging me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask my voice hoarse from the yelling and crying. When the waitress brings the mugs and coffee, she pours some for Matt also. After thanking her she leaves and Matt finally answers.

"I didn't think it'd do you any good being alone," he says matter-of-factly and I can't meet his eyes, though I can't say I'm disappointed to see him here.

_But I can't think like that._

I stare down at the coffee mug I was holding in my hands, hoping that it would warm them but it was failing, "They didn't even consider an alternative. I was just some whore who slept with a married man..." I whisper shakily, "I know I've screwed up many things, I know I've had problems, but they should know that I'd never do that."

Then his strong warm hands are engulfing my own and a quiet sob escapes me, "They were worried about you and not thinking clearly, they regret what they said Gabby."

He never called me by my first name, never 'Gabby' and always 'Dawson' face to face, and my body jolted in an unexplainable way at my name on his lips.

"Talk to me," he murmurs, running the pad of his thumb along my knuckles.

I shake my head, "Matt we just agreed on-"

He sighs, "Sex, I know. But that doesn't mean we can't talk Gabby."

When I look into his light blue orbs I knew that he was being truthful, his concern for me authentic, but I also saw that this was becoming something else for him.

I felt Matt squeeze my hand, "You can let me in Gabby, you can't keep running away from everything that scares you..."

I can't hold his gaze so I'm left to stare at our intertwined hands, "It's what I do Matt, I run."

"Not if I have anything to do with it."


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys!**

**Thank you all for your kind reviews. They help me to continue writing and knowing that you're all reading this story is such a great feeling. I thank you all.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter everyone!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"Are you ready to go home now?" Matt asked after we finished our third mug of coffee each. He hadn't spoken for a while, just sat with me while I gaze out of the window, wiping away tears every time they soaked my cheeks once more. Although throughout the entire time Matt sat with me, he held my hand with his own, and I never pulled my hand away.

I shake my head after noticing we'd been here for an hour, "I don't know..." I trail off, brushing a lock of wavy hair out of my blotchy face.

Matt sighs and then asks quietly, "Why didn't you tell him about Ray in the first place?"

I can't meet his eyes so my eyes focus on Matt's chest, rising and falling with each breath, "I just wanted to escape him and I was ashamed... I'd never once suspected he was someone other than who he said he was. He hid it so well... I felt so _disgusting _when I found out and I didn't want that feeling to follow me back home, so I thought if I lied, then it'd go away..."

Matt's hand squeezed mine, "But you didn't count on Kelly asking Erin..."

I nod finally meeting his eyes, "And now Erin's definitely told my brother, so there's no hiding this."

Matt purses his lips into a thin line, "You don't have to hide this Gabby, you've nothing to be ashamed of," he says firmly and I melt at the sound of his voice.

_What the hell was happening?_

With a quiet voice I ask, "Can we go home now?" and Matt nods. He quickly pays the bill even though I argued against it and we leave the diner, heading for home.

"How did you know where I'd be?" I question with a quiet voice, our shoulders brushing against the each other's as we walk.

Matt shrugs, "You mentioned how it was one of your favourites and since you didn't take your car, I made a lucky guess."

Bewildered I say, "I said that weeks ago."

"I have a good memory," he answers without missing a beat, whilst my heart thudded in my chest.

_I couldn't do this. I couldn't feel like this. Just sex._

* * *

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for jumping to conclusions... I can't believe I even thought that, I'm so sorry," Shay cried as she pulled me into her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around my body. I buried my face into her shoulder, clutching at the back of her shirt.

"It's okay, it's okay," I murmur in response, realising that on top of everything I couldn't argue with Shay and Kelly, because I couldn't lose them. They were my lifeline.

When I escape from Shay's grasp Kelly is watching us from a few feet away, his face regretful and solemn. He lifts his arms slowly and I rush into them, feeling his strong arms wrap around me, making me feel safe and secure.

"Hey kiddo, I'm sorry," he husks simply and I knew it was enough.

Sniffling against his chest I say, "Can I just explain everything to you?"

I feel Kelly nod, "I think we can do that," he answers as we sit on the sofa, Shay and Kelly on either side of me. Matt was nowhere to be seen and somehow, I felt his absence like a dagger to the chest.

I take a shaky breath and wipe my face before I begin, "I was meant to come over for dinner after I finished shift, so I headed over once I'd showered and changed. He'd given be a key a few weeks earlier so I let myself in... I couldn't find him in the living room or the kitchen, and no food seemed to be cooking... I found him in the bedroom with some girl I recognised as working with him... I tried to leave, but he made me stay and the girl left... He tried to explain, but I was having none of it. I went to leave but he grabbed my arm and then I saw that he was wearing a wedding ring... He admitted that he was married..."

I was crying by this point, shameful and embarrassed tears soaking my cheeks. Shay grasped my hand in hers to support me as I kept talking, "He wanted to me to keep quiet but I couldn't... I looked up his wife in the yellow pages and went to his real home and told her everything... She wasn't even angry with me. She understood - apparently he'd cheated before... When I left Denver they were divorcing and I haven't heard from him or his wife since..."

Shay throws an arm over my shoulder and pulls me to her side, "Oh hunny, why didn't you talk to us sooner? We could have helped you..."

I shake my head against the ball of her shoulder, "I just wanted to try to forget about it."

Kelly placed his hand on my knee, "I'm sorry I went to Erin."

Forcing a smile on my face I look up at him, "It's okay Kelly... I'm gonna be okay."

* * *

**_Severide_**

"She's definitely not okay," Shay states definitively, her hands planted firmly on her hips as she points upstairs, presumably towards Gabby. It had been a few days since we had found out the truth about Gabby and Ray, and she seemed to be shutting us out, hiding herself away from us.

Rubbing my face I answer with a sigh, "I know that Shay, she's not talking."

"We've got to do something," she answers as Matt comes through the front door, swinging his keys on his fingers.

"Like what Shay? She'll hardly talk to me about anything other than the weather or daytime TV," I say bitterly, running my hand over my head.

Matt walks in to the kitchen at this point, "Are you talking about Dawson?" I nod, "Well try _not _talking to her about this asshole, she clearly wants to move on from him. Let her."

"Matt, you don't know what she does okay? She shuts down and boxes it all in, and then she ends up on a self-destruct downward spiral," Shay explains to him with some degree of exasperation in her voice.

Matt leans up against the fridge, "No, she's pissed off that you guys went snooping behind her back. She's trying to get away from Ray and she's reminded of him every time you guys look at her."

"What the hell would you know Matt?" I yell loudly, partly angry due to the fact I knew that he was right, "You two hate each other, so how the hell can you comment on what's going on in her head!"

Matt rolls his eyes, "I don't have to like her to know that you guys are treating her differently. She doesn't _want _that, she wants it to be like it was before. Leave the girl alone and let her move on."

At this Matt heads over to the sofa turning on the TV, after making his point and letting us dwell over his comments. Shay looks at me, coming to some sort of conclusion in her head and I nod quickly at her.

_Maybe Matt was right... But how the hell would he know all this about Gabby?_

* * *

**_Casey_**

I was in the middle of re-attaching the kitchen cabinet door that Otis had ever so gratefully knocked off when my phone buzzed. I was pretty sure I knew who was texting me, therefore I couldn't keep my eyes off the phone. Herrmann, who was holding up the door as I screwed in the new hinges, looked down at the phone.

"You need to get that Casey?" Herrmann asks casually and I shake my head, returning my attention to the door.

"Nah, it's okay," I mutter whilst trying to focus my mind on the task at hand and not Gabby on the other end of my phone.

I could see Otis peeping around the oven with a sheepish expression, "Is it fixable?"

I raise my brow in his direction, "It's a cabinet door Otis, not brain surgery."

Herrmann chuckles, "Manual labour _is _brain surgery for Otis," and I watch as Otis dons an insulted expression. Huffing, he slips out of view just as I finish fixing the door.

As I pack up my tools and move to take them back to my locker, I feel my phone buzz again. Curiosity finally winning, I take my phone from my pocket and open up the text from Gabby.

_You're office - 2 mins._

Although our hook ups seemed to be a regular thing, they were becoming much more frequent over the past week or so. And it wasn't like I was complaining, but I was worried about her. Something was up.

I put away my toolbox and tried to discreetly make my way to my office, proving to be unsuccessful as Mills stopped me on my way, thankfully oblivious to the drawn blinds in my office.

"Hey Lieutenant, you game for a poker tonight? Cruz's place at eight?" Mills asked cheerfully, his usual smile spread across his face.

Briefly I glanced at my office door, closed shut, "Er, yeah that sounds good Mills."

Mills beamed and clapped me on the arm, "Great, see you then Casey!"

I nod at him as he makes his way towards the locker-room and then I glance around quickly, before slipping into my office, locking the door behind me. Immediately I feel Gabby's hands grasp my arms as she turns my body and pushes me against the door, soon finding my lips with her own. I feel her hands slip behind my neck as she uses this as leverage to pull our bodies closer together, whilst I curl my hands around her waist relishing in the heat of her body.

Soon enough I felt her warm tongue run across my lips asking for entrance. I obliged and then we're battling for power over the other, whilst Gabby takes to unbuttoning the buttons of my work shirt.

As she pulls my shirt from my body I lift her into my arms and walk towards the bed, laying her down and climbing on the bed above her. I straddle her hips, nudging a knee in between her legs. She's kissing my neck when I feel the need to murmur into her hair.

"We need to talk," I say quietly and Gabby instantly stops her movements, laying her head back against my pillow with a confused and frustrated expression.

"You've got to be kidding me," she sighs running a hand over her hair, her eyes seemingly looking anywhere but me.

I run a thumb across her jaw, "What's going on with you?" I ask gently, not wanting her to clam up on me.

"Matt," she mutters, pressing her lips against mine, "Don't ruin this."

"I'm not," I answer trying to keep my voice calm and smooth as I felt her hand relax against my back, "You're distracting yourself with sex and as great as it is, you can't keep this bottled up forever."

She pushes me off her and sits up, shaking her hands through her hair as a large puff of breath escapes her mouth, "We agreed that this was just sex Matt. No feelings, remember?"

I sit up too, resting a hand on her shoulder, "And I'm not the guy who'll just sleep with you knowing that something is going on in your head."

Gabby scoffs angrily, "You were that guy when I met you Matt. _That's _why we started this."

I sigh thinking that I'll get nowhere with her, "Just talk to me Gabby..."

Tense moments pass before she starts to talk once more, "I'm afraid..."

I clutch her hand in my own tightly, "Why?"

"Because this is changing...and I'm not sure if I want it to...and I'm not sure if I can stop it."


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone!**

**I know you guys thought that Gabby and Matt would talk in this chapter, but Gabby is really hurt. Opening up is hard for her.**

**Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I did too!**

**And a lot will be going on with the next chapter, including Matt talking to Gabby about his past!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

_"Because this is changing...and I'm not sure if I want it to...and I'm not sure if I can stop it."_

There. I finally said the words that had haunted me for a while now. He had to know. If he couldn't stop with the whole feelings thing, then we'd have to stop this. My feelings about him were changing, but I couldn't let that happen. He can't get close.

Matt's hand slips from my shoulder to my forearm and I still hadn't the balls to look him in the eye, "Gabby, this isn't a bad thing-"

I shake my head and violently shrug him off, "No Matt. I can't do this with you if it's more than sex. We both agreed on this, but you've screwed it up. The deals off."

As I stand from his bed our eyes finally meet, mine fearful and angry, his confused and sad, and in that moment, I wanted nothing but his hands on my body and our lips to collide. He reaches out to take my hand, but I snatch it away almost flinching into the wall behind me.

"This isn't about the fucking sex Gabby!" He yells as I make my way to the door. I spin around angrily and wave my hand between us, body shaking, "And that is exactly what I'm talking about! I said no feelings!"

Matt slaps his hands down on his knees just as he begins to rise from the bed, "Well it's not that easy anymore Gabby."

I felt angry and sorrowful tears burning my eyes, "Why? Why can't it be? You screwed all those other girls with no care in the world, but all of sudden you care for me? Why Matt?"

He shakes his head and looks around, struggling to find words, "...Because it's different with you."

My throat clenched with fear and I could feel my stomach flipping, _no, it can't be different. It can't. _Why couldn't it be simple?

"I can't-" I cry quietly, "I can't do this," I say as I rush out of the room, leaving behind Matt, who was albeit confused, but hurt too. I felt a deep pang after seeing the look in his eyes, but I had to get away. This wasn't possible to anymore.

_I couldn't risk getting hurt again._

I run to the bathroom and lock myself in one of the stalls, trying to control my erratic breathing and the tears that were slipping down my face. I was so scared. I couldn't get hurt again. Besides, I don't even think I like Matt in that way. He lied,_ it's not different with me,_ he was just trying to save our agreement. Yeah, trying to get laid. That's it.

_Was it?_

* * *

_**Casey**_

My feet pounded the streets rhythmically as I headed back to the apartment after a vigorous run. I had to get out and have time to myself to think clearly, but whenever I thought of Gabby, my mind blurred once again.

I wasn't even sure what this was. _Attraction? Desire? _

I couldn't label it, but it was something. Whatever I had with her was different. The sex was different, but I wasn't sure how. I know that there was no comparison between the sex with Gabby and other girls, to Hallie. I couldn't understand what it was, but it was definitely not 'no strings attached' at all.

As I rounded the corner of our street I stopped dead in my tracks. I recognised that car and I recognised the person leaning up against it. _Hallie._

She must have heard me approach as she turned her head in my direction, a little shock taking over the features that I'd become so accustomed to over the past few years.

Something tasted bitter in the back of my throat.

"Matt," she said when I was close enough. There was space between her and the steps to the apartment door, I could rush in without her following.

I was in no mood for pleasantries, "What are you doing here Hallie?" I ask with a bitter voice and she had the nerve to be shocked over my expression and tone.

Swallowing thickly she pushes herself off her car and takes a step towards me. I don't move away, but I don't make an effort to move any closer and I warn her off with my body language.

"Matt," she began, an almost desperate look in her eye, "I think we need to talk. We need to sort things out," she finishes.

I scoff and roll my eyes, "You make it sound like we ended our relationship on equal ground, but we didn't, so please don't try to pass off that to me," I say angrily and all I wanted to do was to rush inside, but I couldn't move my feet from the sidewalk.

Hallie reaches out to place a hand on my arm, I don't move away, "Matt, I'm sorry... I made a huge mistake-"

Finally I flinch away, "No, don't give me that bullshit. _You _told _me _that you cheated because you didn't want to be with me anymore. So you have no right to come back here with your demands and expect to get them. Go home Hallie."

I don't wait for a reaction from her. I just rush through the apartment door and hope she doesn't follow. She doesn't.

I take the stairs rather than the elevator, allowing myself some time to regain my composure. My blood was boiling and furious tears burned my eyes, I didn't let them fall. _I couldn't go back there._

And then thoughts of Gabby flooded my mind, and I felt better.

* * *

When I got home I was expecting to find the apartment full, but Kelly and Shay were nowhere to be seen. I spotted Gabby at the dining table, fiddling with her laptop. She noticed me looking around the apartment.

"Shay was called in to replace Tony on first shift and Kelly's out with Erin," she mumbles quietly and I give her a nod as I make my way upstairs. Gabby avoided my gaze and I sighed, _she was still distancing herself from me. _

I stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, allowing the hot water to wash away worries about Hallie and to take the tension out of my muscles. I used minty shower gel, the smell reminding me of how Gabby tasted the other morning when we had sex just after she'd brushed her teeth.

_Jesus Matt, she's stopped all that. Stop thinking about it._

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. Gabby was all I could think about.

After dressing I made my way downstairs, suddenly very aware of my growling stomach and my need for food. Gabby glances at me briefly as I move into the kitchen, but then she reverts her attention back to her laptop, tucking her hand within her curly hair as if to put a barrier between us.

I couldn't help but smile, _there was more to this for her too. _

As I grabbed a beer and warmed some pizza from last night in the microwave, I could feel Gabby's eyes on me when I had my back turned to her. The feeling of her watching me was turning me on. _Stop it._

I forced myself to not look at her when I moved to the sofa and flicked the TV, mindlessly looking through the channels for something half-decent to watch. I was through my second slice of pizza when I heard Gabby growl behind me, "Stupid piece of crap!" as she taps the screen angrily.

I turn around to see her glaring at the screen with pure hatred whilst hitting the keys. I shake my head and place my beer on the coffee table, making my way over there with my pizza in hand.

"Whoa, calm down there before you break it," I laugh cheerfully as I nudge her hands from the keyboard.

"It's already broken - or it might as well be. It's useless," Gabby snarled at the screen and I couldn't help but think how adorable she looked when she was angry.

I placed the plate of pizza on the dining table and stood behind Gabby's chair, reaching over her to the laptop. My head was positioned just above her shoulder and she knew it, because I see how her breathing was increasing in pace.

Our heads were so close, I only had to move to the side and we'd be kissing. _Stop thinking like that._

"Let me take a look," I advised and Gabby moved her hands to the side of the laptop. She tilted her head slightly and looked up at me, our eyes met and her pupils dilated. I had to swallow to focus.

"I thought you were a construction guy? Or do you just know everything?" Gabby teased quietly, her voice almost breathy.

My fingers moved along the touch pad and keyboard of the laptop, but the movements were fruitless. I was too distracted by Gabby, the sound of her breaths, the smell of her hair, the rising and falling of her chest. _Her heated gaze as she looked at me. _

"If you didn't know already, I am a bit of a know-it-all," I answer with a little humor in my voice, but my mind was being taken over by my desire for her.

Then she uttered words I hardly expected to come out of her mouth, "Oh to hell with it," she groaned as she pulled my face to hers with her soft hands and pressed her lips forcefully against mine.

I ran my hands through her hair as I kissed her passionately back, relishing in the moan that escaped her as I ran my tongue along her lips. She granted me entrance just as I pulled us to the wooden floor, holding Gabby's hot body against mine. I teased the top of her mouth with my tongue as I felt Gabby pull down the zipper of my hoodie, exposing my skin. She gazed at my chest for a moment before her lips were trailing hot kisses across my skin, as my hands reached to pull off her shirt.

"I thought you said-?" I try to murmur before Gabby cuts me off with her lips, throwing her shirt to the side, "I know what I said. I don't care."

Right now, that was good enough for me.

* * *

_**Shay**_

Gabby was great when she was drunk, but it wasn't great being around her whilst you were pretty much sober. She'd had a head start on me as she'd arrived at the bar with the guys, whilst I had to come later due a dentist appointment.

"Shay, I really want to dance," Gabby pouted against my arm, a straw dangling between her lips. She bowed her head and place the straw in her cocktail, sipping so hard at the drink that it was gone instantly.

I rolled my eyes, "Let me get a little drunker..." I laugh and pat her head, taking a gulp of my beer.

So half an hour later I ended up on the dance floor with Gabby, dancing so daringly that we definitely looked like we belonged in a strip club. Gabby was sipping her drink with one hand and holding my waist in her other, whilst I did the same to her, our hips grinding against each others.

"So," I yelled over the music, "I wanna know... Who is this guy that you're sleeping with?"

Gabby giggles girly, rolling her eyes at me, "You don't need to know the dirty-details."

I swat her arm, "Oh, I do. Tell me! Is it someone I know?"

She nods her head with a silly grin on her face, "All I'm telling you is that it's the best sex I've ever had in my life," _Oh that's something she wouldn't have admitted to if she was sober. _

I exhale with exasperation, "Now I need to know!"

Gabby lulls her head to the music and then a few seconds later she says, "I'm sleeping with Matt."

My jaw dropped.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello!**

**103 reviews already? Whoa! I'm so grateful to all you guys, you're the greatest! Thank you for all your stunning reviews!**

**Sorry, no steamy scenes in this chapter but I'll fit something in with the next chapter!**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter - Matt finally tells Gabby about his past!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

Shay's bellowing yell woke me from my drunken slumber, "Come on girly! I'm taking us out for breakfast!" She calls cheerily with little trace of a hangover, as if we didn't do tequila shots together last night.

I pull the covers over my head with a groan as she opens my blinds, "No," I complain, hugging the covers tight to my body.

I feel her sit down on the bed as it stoops with her weight, "I need to talk to you," Shay says with a tone of some sort of seriousness.

"It can wait until I'm hangover free," I reply with a grumble, feeling my head pound rhythmically with a monstrosity of a headache.

Then the covers are free from my body and I'm left laying in my panties and bra, hands covering my face from the blinding sunlight that did nothing for my wellbeing right now, "It can't wait. Get up, we leave in 10."

As she saunters out of the room I groan loudly, "I'll need 20 to be some sort of presentable.".

We make it out of the door in fifteen instead, although Shay complained about this. She was hyped up for something and clearly what she wanted to talk about couldn't wait. She drove us quickly to our favourite breakfast bar and after placing our orders, we sat in a booth by the window.

Shay waited until we'd been served with coffee before clearing her throat, "So, do you remember anything from last night?"

I could feel myself perking up a little more with every sip of coffee I took so I laughed lightly at her question, "Other than Otis and Mills falling over each other and us dancing - which is pretty vague - I don't remember much."

Shay makes a very purposeful and very slow nod, placing her mug on the table and cupping her hands around it, "I figured as much..."

I needed her to get to the point, "So what do you need to talk about?"

She takes a sip of her coffee before answering, "Well when we were dancing I asked you who you were sleeping with..."

_Please for the love of god tell me I did not tell her._

By the look on her face I was taking that as a no. I cringe automatically, resisting the urge to run my hand down my face, "...and you told me that it was Matt."

I was the one who ensured that Matt understood that no one would find out and _I _was the one who told. What would he think? Hell, what would Kelly think if he found out? Had I screwed it all up?

I still hadn't replied so Shay continues, "And I'm taking it that you were telling the truth considering how awkward you look right now."

The expression on her face was unreadable which she knew would make me cave and explain, just so I'd know that she doesn't hate me. "It was my idea... It'd been months for me and because Matt and I hated each other, no feelings could get in the way. We'd both get laid when we wanted and there would be no strings attached, which was what we both wanted."

As Shay held her mug with her hands one of her index fingers straightened out and pointed at me, "You keep using the past tense, as if there weren't feelings and now there are?"

I wave my hand at her with a scoff, "No, there's no feelings. None whatsoever."

She didn't believe me at all and her penetrating stare was intimidating me, "Okay, well _something's _different but I can't go there Shay. I can't risk it."

It was a sip of her coffee later when she answered confidently, "You're the reason Matt's acting differently. Have you noticed that there's no more arrogant asshole living in our apartment?"

I look down at my knee which was bouncing nervously, "Yes..."

Then she reaches over and places a warm hand over mine, causing me to look up at her, "I'm not going to give you a lecture so have a little faith in me. It's not my business what you get up to Gab, I'm just saying that maybe whatever you and he are feeling isn't a bad thing."

I shake my head, "I can't Shay."

"When you and Matt agreed to this whole thing you didn't realise that 'win-win sex' is _never _that simple, Gab. Tread carefully, because I don't want to see either of you hurt from this."

* * *

I was heading for the apartment door with my keys in one hand and my phone in the other, propped against my ear, "Yes Antonio, I made it home safe. Scout's honor."

I'd been at Antonio's for dinner with Laura and the kids and he always made a thing about calling him when I got home to say I was safe. I guess it something to do with him being a cop and seeing to many bad things after people never made it home. I couldn't blame him for that, he was just protective and more cautious of the world than the rest of us. Or just more aware of the bad things lurking all around us.

Antonio hadn't made a huge thing over the Ray situation which I think was due to Laura. I briefly explained everything and after watching his tortured face, he had sighed and pulled me into his arms saying '_You're here now and that's all that matters'. _I was glad that we could move past it, nothing would come from dwelling on something he or I couldn't change.

_"Okay, I'm just checking. It was great to have you here tonight Gabs."_

I was awkwardly trying to get my keys in the lock, "I loved it too Antonio... Give a kiss to the kids from me please? And tell Laura thank you for the dinner."

I stumbled into the apartment and closed the door behind me, walking in to see Shay, Kelly and Matt staring at me. Kelly was breathing heavily and looked murderous, and he and Matt both looked like they'd been scuffling.

_Dammit._

_"I will Gabs, love you."_

Dumbstruck I answer Antonio without taking my eyes off the scene before me, "Love you too, goodnight Antonio." I wait to hear him mumble goodbye before I hang up quickly.

No one spoke for a moment until I swallowed anxiously, "What happened?"

"Gabby hun-" Shay starts, stepping to come towards me but she's immediately cut off by Kelly's bellowing scream.

"What happened?! I think the question is 'What's _been _happening' Gabby?" Kelly yells, waving an angry hand at me. My keys practically drop to the counter after my hand limps and I was taken aback by his anger.

"I don't-" I stammer but Kelly cuts me off too.

"You do know! You've been sleeping with Matt, the guy you claim to absolutely hate, all under the radar!"

I step towards him, "Kelly just listen-"

"Are you really this stupid Gabby? After everything? And Jesus Christ Gab, Matt? He's my best friend but you've seen how many girls-"

This comment caused me to shake with anger, "That's not fair Kelly! _I _started this between me and him so don't you dare start degrading him over something that we _both _decided to do!"

Kelly points at me angrily, "There. You can see it in your eyes, it's more than fucking sex Gab. You ready for that after Ray?"

I scoff, enraged that he would hit me with that sensitive topic, "I'm not doing this with you Kelly. What Matt and I are doing is _none _of your business so back off. Don't be an ass and fuck up you're friendship with him over something that you can't do anything about."

I hurry up the stairs after stunning Kelly to silence and I was thankful that I didn't hear more arguing, just low talking. I wash and brush my teeth before changing into a loose top and climbing into bed.

My phone vibrates on the bedside table, a text from Matt - _He overheard Shay and I talking. She said you told her last night? Are you okay?_

I reply with - **I was going to tell you. I was drunk, I'm sorry. Yeah I'm okay, are you? Kelly was out of line with what he said about you.**

_I'm fine, just letting him cool off. Don't worry about it, they were going to find out sooner or later. I think it's better out in the open now._

**Really? **

_Yeah, Kelly will come around. I hope._

**He will. You're like his only best friend that doesn't have a vagina. He has too.**

_Thank you for that visual._

**It was my pleasure.**

* * *

**Meet me outside. 2 minutes.**

_Really? I'll miss out on Cruz making a fool out of himself. Is it that important?_

**Well if you don't come you'll never know will you?**

_I need a hint._

**If you really need one then you can't handle it...**

And so an hour later we lay tangled in Matt's sheets, panting and covered in a thin layer of sweat. Matt pulled my hair out of my face and away from my skin as I asked, "Do you think anyone will notice that we're gone?"

Matt chuckles lightly, "I doubt it. They were too wrapped up in Cruz's bet with Otis."

"Who could get the most cell numbers? Poor boys..." I murmur as I rest my naked body on his bare chest, playing with the light chest hair I found there. Matt's fingers trace mindless patterns on my back.

"I'm glad we didn't drink," he replies and I hum at his words.

"I couldn't handle another night," I grimace at the memories of how I felt yesterday morning.

Matt laughs at this before kissing my head, letting out a breath of air as he relaxes against the pillows behind his head. He pulls the sheet over my back after noticing goosebumps, but they had nothing to do with the temperature of the room compared to his touch.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed as we laid in each other's arms, truth was, in that moment I didn't care. Alarm bells screeched in my head, but I decided to ignore them for now. The feeling of being in his arms wasn't comparable to anything I've experienced before and I wasn't letting it go just yet.

Then Matt starts talking in a low tentative voice, but it seemed as if he wasn't dwelling on the words too much. As if he just wanted to tell me, "My mom's in jail."

I lift my head from his chest and prop myself up on my elbow, then using my spare hand to run my fingers through his long-ish hair. I don't say anything, I just let him speak at his own pace knowing that he'd tell me in his own time. I kissed the edge of his mouth to show that I wasn't going to judge whatever he was going to say.

He lets out a shaky breath, "My dad was a son of a bitch. To anyone looking in from the outside would've seen a loving family with great kids, a happy mom and an honorable and respectable dad. But he was abusive, so much so that I'd try to run away only to come home knowing that my mom's beating would be worse if I didn't..."

"Matt," I rest my hand on his cheek once seeing his eyes well up, "You don't have to-"

He shakes his head and clutches my hand that was cupping his cheek, "Christie, my older sister, she didn't get it as bad as me and mom, but he was really hard verbally on her. If he wasn't calling her a whore then she was a bitch... Mom was trapped in a dark hole... I was useless and worthless and I'd make nothing of myself. I remember one time I came home and told him that I had a B on my maths test, and he slapped me after saying it wasn't good enough... I was eight..."

My tears were falling on to his face so I couldn't tell whose tears belonged to who, they were just a mix of salty sadness on Matt's skin, "They divorced when I was sixteen and life was good for a year or so. It wasn't great going to see him, nothing had changed there, but we were away from him on the most part. When I was seventeen I came home after seeing him and left my keys on the counter... Later that night he called, drunk out of his mind, and he ranted on to my mom about how much of a waste of space I was. How I was a pathetic son and I'd never become any sort of a proper man. I tried to sleep it off... Mom took the keys, drove off there and she shot him..."

I didn't say a word. I pulled Matt into my chest and held him as he cried, endlessly running a hand through his hair and clutching his hand with the other, holding on so tight as if I was afraid he'd slip away.

"He was wrong," I murmur into the room that was dimly lit by Matt's lamp. Matt rises from my chest, face puffy from crying and hovers above me waiting for me to continue, "Everything he ever said about you, he was wrong."

Matt nods a few times, trying to process the words, tears slowing but not stopping entirely as they slip down his face, "I sometimes think he wasn't."

I clutch his cheeks forcefully, "Don't you dare think that. You are not the man he expected you to be. You're so much better."

Matt presses his lips against mine needily, as if he was trying to gain the full strength of my words through our kiss. I lay beside me and I pulled him close, holding him as tightly as I could and sure enough, moments later he was asleep.

I fell asleep soon-after, picturing a little Matt, scared and vulnerable, wondering why someone had it in them to hurt a little boy and trying to have some sort of understanding of how he felt.

_I had none._


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! **

**Again, I want to thank you all for all of your amazing reviews! They are what keeps me writing! I'm glad you're all enjoying this story as much as I am. **

**I must apologise for no steamy scene in this chapter, it didn't fit, but I assure you there's one planned for the next.**

**Hope you all like this chapter!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Casey_**

I told her. I told her everything. And she didn't run away.

I took a big risk telling her, I was afraid that she'd distance herself from me after I told her about my father but I was hoping that if I opened up to her, she'd feel more easy about opening up to me. Granted, that had yet to happen, but I wasn't expecting miracles here, I was just hoping for something.

I knew about Ray and her life in Denver, but all I knew about her earlier life here in Chicago was that she'd been close friends with Erin, Shay and Kelly were her lifesavers and that something bad had happened. No one had told me this, but it was written all over Gabby's face whenever Erin was mentioned.

But I also told her about my past because I trusted Gabby and I knew that she wouldn't judge me.

I was definitely feeling something for her. How could I not? I felt comforted in her presence but also alive, frantic even, because she made me feel so _electric _as if I was more alive than I'd ever been before.

I was. She'd opened that up for me. It was like I was seeing the world in new colours with new emotions and at the end of it, I came back to Gabby. She was always in my thoughts in some way or another. It's strange, I'd thought that Hallie was the love of my life, the only one for me, but I was beginning to think that I was very wrong. I was playing in safe back then, content with being content and not happy. There was always something lacking with Hallie now I was looking at our relationship with the benefit of hindsight and maybe it was a blessing in disguise that she cheated. And maybe an even bigger blessing that Gabby walked into my life.

_Or stumbled._

And I knew it would be hard for her. I knew that I'd have to take it slow, at her pace and ensure her that I wasn't going anywhere, but if she doesn't let me in at all I would struggle to show her this. As of now, I think Gabby was happy with our happy medium between sex and friendship.

That was enough for now.

* * *

**_Dawson_**

_"I'd try to run away only to come home knowing that my mom's beating would be worse if I didn't..."_

Matt's words kept circling in my head with an awful consistency, causing me to shiver and flinch at random moments. I kept picturing a little blue-eyed boy with bright long blonde hair trying to smile but struggling. My heart ached for him.

He'd opened up in such a way that frightened me, but he trusted me with such intimate information that I couldn't help but feel happy that he'd talked to me. But was he expecting me to reciprocate this? I wasn't sure that I could. I'd buried that part of me, would I be unable to exhume it?

I wanted to shut down these feelings, lock them inside my Pandora's box and throw away the key, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't. Matt had wormed his way into my heart, under my skin, within my breathes and deep within the shadows of my mind. I couldn't shake him off but I didn't want too, yet I did at the same time. He had me fighting with myself, my mind telling me to run and my heart telling me to let him in. I'd always listened to my head and maybe that was the source of all my problems, but it also meant less hurt. And wasn't that what I was running from?

But a part of me didn't want to run anymore, a large part actually. I was finally home, surrounded by my old family and my new family that I'd found within 51. It wasn't a firehouse, it was a home and inside it housed the most wonderful family who were loving and loyal and trustworthy. I didn't want to run from this, but old habits were hard to break and I was scared that one day something would happen that would make me run.

If Matt were to say those words, any words for that matter, I wasn't sure how I'd react. I was so unpredictable, but yet so predictable also. Would I be strong enough to stay and confront this, or would I be a coward and run?

The devil was in the details, that was for sure.

"Hey, can we talk?" Kelly asked quietly after approaching me in the kitchen. It was the morning after Matt had opened up to me and finally Kelly was coming around with both of us. I nodded and gave him a smile, he was only looking out for us, for me, I had to be thankful that someone was.

Kelly had done so much for me throughout the years, he and Shay had saved me, I couldn't begrudge him of the fact that he cared and didn't want to see me hurt again. He was protective and he had every right to be. Apart from his mom, Kelly didn't have much of a family, he'd found that with Shay, then with me and then with Matt and 51. Kelly kept those he loved close because he had too.

Kelly led me outside of the firehouse and we stood at the end of the driveway, wrapped in the Chicago breeze. It was beginning to get colder, you could feel that the air was a little sharper and the wind was a little more bitter.

He stuffed his hand in the pockets of his jacket before speaking, "I'm sorry for blowing up like I did-"

I shake my head softly, "You have nothing to apologize for. I know that you were trying to look out for us both."

Kelly nods, "And that's why I'm gonna tell you guys to be careful with all this. I don't want to see either of you hurt because stuff like this never is as simple and as 'feeling' free as you think."

And then I couldn't stop the next words that came out of my mouth, "He told me about his father, his mom, everything..."

Kelly sighs with a look of knowing in his eyes, "Then Matt trusts you Gab. It's hard for him to talk about what happened as I'm sure you understand... It's clear that something has changed between you both, Shay and I have both noticed it, but if you're gonna keep doing this Gab you've got to see that Matt has feelings for you."

I was staring down at the sidewalk, biting nervously at my lip, "I'm not sure I'm what he needs Kelly..."

"Then you have to stop it. Either try with him Gab or end it. He's more vulnerable than you think," Kelly says seriously, more than likely referring to when Matt kept going back to Hallie after the breakup and all those girls...

Letting out a shaky breath I murmur, "I want to try with him."

Then I feel his arms enclose me tightly to his chest, "Then do it. If you keep closing yourself off you'll never be happy."

He was right, my god was he right.

* * *

**_Casey_**

We lingered in the garage as we waited for Shay and Gabby to return to 51. We'd received news of what happened about half hour ago and news from PD that they weren't sure if they were dealing with it well. Chief wanted to head over to Lakeshore but Shay insisted that it was no point as they'd be back soon. She didn't mention how they were holding up and I was worried for the both of them.

"If they need space give them that, but let them know that we're here," Chief had said quietly before he returned to his office. I think he wanted us to back off a little, but we were all so worried that we couldn't.

"They ever seen anything like that before?" Mills asked almost apprehensively and Kelly shook his head.

"Nothing like that," he replied, sitting in his usual chair at the Squad table, using his feet to turn back and forth.

I leaned up against the Squad table with my arms crossed over my chest, anxiously awaiting to see 61 pull up and to see their faces. About an hour ago they were called to multiple gunshot wounds at a townhouse a couple of miles from here. Twenty minutes later Chief gets a call from PD, they responded to a murder-suicide where a father shot and killed his wife and teenage son before killing himself. When Dawson and Shay got there they were first on scene and found the father and son dead, but the mom was alive. The officer Chief had talked to said that they had talked to the mom before she died on scene.

_How could they be prepared for that? How could anyone?_

I felt Kelly nudge me lightly with his foot looking for my attention, I turn my head and he was looking up at me, "You think that they're okay?"

"They're strong, they'll get through it," is all I can answer with, because honestly, I wasn't sure that they were okay at all. Who would be? But I knew that they'd get through it, they had this family to help them do that.

I was watching Cruz and Mouch roll up hoses when Cruz dropped the nozzle, sending it crashing loudly to the floor, "Try not to break our equipment Cruz," I chuckle lightly, finding it hard to not find humor in his facial expression.

He nods, "You got it Lieutenant," before continuing his work, Mouch keeping extra vigilance on him this time. I rolled my eyes.

And then I saw 61 turn into the drive, slowly creeping up the concrete and parking carefully due to the relatively full garage. I could see Shay as she parked with the driver's side facing the Squad table, but I only caught a glimpse of Gabby. Their expressions were sad.

I see Shay turn to Gabby quickly before she opens the door and climbs out, Gabby following moments later. Shay approached us, hands stuffed in her pockets, looking weary, "Are you guys okay?" I ask her, seeing that Gabby had just rounded the ambo.

Shay nods slowly, "We will be."

Gabby moves straight to the breakroom, making a huge effort to ignore the many sympathetic and worried eyes that were following her. She only nods quickly as Kelly calls, "Gabs, you okay?" before she's out of sight.

I turn to Shay for an explanation, who sighs and looks to the ceiling, "She talked to the mom before we lost her. The mom kept asking about her son, but she knew he was gone. Gabby tried to comfort her but she bled out... She hasn't spoken since we left the hospital."

"Oh god," I murmur, rubbing my face with my hands. Then I placed my hand on Shay's arm to comfort her, before rushing off in the direction Gabby went.

I found her in the laundry room, roughly shoving clothes into the washer before slamming the plastic door shut tightly. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.

I could see the tear trails on her cheeks and even from the side, her eyes looked glassy. Gabby didn't look up at me, just continued switching the dials until the washer rumbled to life. She must have noticed me studying her, as she shook her head lightly and a lock of hair slipped lose, covering my view of her face.

I walk towards her, placing my hand over her own. She doesn't move away. "I'm here," I whisper softly, and then her composure crumbles and she collapses into my arms. I wrap my arms around her tightly as she clutches at my shirt with her small hands, burying her head in my chest.

She cries softly but relentlessly into my arms, every now and then little whimpers mixing with the cries. When I hear her crying ease I say, "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," needing her to know that I wasn't going to leave her and I was here for her to talk to.

Then in my arms, I felt her shaky body relax into mine.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys!**

**I just can't stop writing this story so I decided to update again for you all!**

**Thanks for the great reviews!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"Okay, so on that hideous note... Kelly can I have your keys please? I think I left my phone charger in your glove box," I rest my hands on Kelly's shoulders after I get up from the table.

Kelly ruffles his keys out of the pocket of his work trousers and jingles them just out of reach, "As long as you don't steal my baby."

I roll my eyes and lean over to snatch the keys out of his hands, "I wouldn't break your heart like that Kelly," I tease as I head out to his car, haphazardly throwing the keys back and forth my hands.

Sure enough I found my phone charger in the glove box of Kelly's Ford Mustang, his prized possession. I shut the door and moved to slide the key into the lock, when I saw out of my peripheral vision that a car had pulled up. Taking little notice I flicked the key in the lock and shoved the keys in my pocket.

Then a voice called out and sent my heart racing, "Gabby! Gabby!"

I turned my head. It was Ray.

He was just how I'd remembered, tall, dark, handsome. It was what drew me to him the night we met at a bar in Denver, but then it was less about the looks and more about his personality. He was charming, sweet and funny, he could make my laugh all night - and he did - and he was always extremely considerate of me. I thought that I loved him, I guess I did, but I couldn't even think about going back there after finding out he had a wife.

He was nearing the bumper of Kelly's and I raised my hand causing him to stop. Bewilderment must have shown on my face because I felt so shocked, "What are you doing here Ray?"

Ray was needy, desperate looking even, "I needed to talk to you-"

"Denver's a thousand miles away Ray, can't you take the hint? I moved home to get away from you. I have nothing to say to you!" I yell loudly, feeling the hurt I experienced all those months ago suddenly resurfacing.

His face drops, "...Sarah, she filed for divorce..."

"Good for her! She deserves better than you. She deserves better than what she got," I felt empowered by this, if his wife Sarah who was such a good person could find the strength to walk away, I could too.

The look on his face said it all and I scoffed, "Oh, so you came here hoping that you're little bit on the side would take you back? I have three words for you Ray, kiss my ass," I say confidently, shaking my head and turning away.

But then I felt his hands on my arms and Ray pushed me up against Kelly's car, a sudden look of pure rage on his face. _I wouldn't show him that I was scared._

"Get you're hands off me! Get off!" I screech, fighting against his grip, but he was too strong and too angry to let go.

"I need to talk to you," he hisses through gritted teeth, focusing on keeping my body within his grip, "You're not walking away from me!"

"I'm not a fucking possession you egotistical asshole! You don't own me! Let me go!" My throat was starting to hurt with how loud I was yelling, but then suddenly my arms were free and Ray was on his back on the floor.

And Matt was above him, punching him in the face.

* * *

**_Casey_**

"Okay if I get this in your buying the takeout tonight," I challenge Kelly as we played beer pong, without the beer and with soda instead.

Kelly rolled his eyes, "You're on. Just to let you know I want Indian," he smirks, but I didn't even get to lift my hand before Shay came rushing past the breakroom, shouting that she needed us outside.

A herd of men followed, wondering what the hell was going on. We got to the garage and saw down the drive exactly what was happening. Gabby was pushed up against Kelly's car with some guy man-handling her yelling, "I'm not a fucking possession you egotistical asshole! You don't own me! Let me go!"

I saw red.

I wasn't sure what happened in the seconds between being in the garage and being on top of this guy, punching him in the face, but I didn't care. All I knew was that Gabby was yelling at this guy and then suddenly I'm on the floor with him.

I manage to sock a few punches before I feel half a dozen hands pulling me off him. His nose and eyebrow is bleeding and Gabby was yelling beside me for me to stop. I felt her shaky hands on my chest.

Turning my head I see her eyes, worried and frightened staring up at mine and my heart broke.

Chief roughly lifts this guy, who I was pretty sure was Ray, to his feet and shoves him away from me, "I think it's best if you leave," Chief says in a dangerously low voice.

Ray had one hand to his nose and the other came up to point at Gabby, "This is between me and her."

"He's telling you to back off, if you were wise you'd listen," Kelly says sternly over my shoulder, as his hands grip my shoulder to keep me in place.

Ray's hand dropped but he continued looking at Gabby, suddenly the anger slipping from his face and desperation taking it's place, "Gabby, baby, come home..."

My blood boiled when he called her 'baby'.

Gabby shakes her head as she edges closer into my body, her one hand on my chest and the other on my back, "I am home," she says quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. After shaking his head and scanning his eyes over the many firefighters stood around us, he walked back to his car.

No one moved until his car was out of sight.

I turned to Gabby as my body was eventually released from its many grasps, "Are you okay?"

She nods her head but doesn't speak, too shocked to even try to. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and lead her back towards the firehouse, feeling as her bodied shook.

It took a few minutes for Gabby to regain her nerves and to talk, "Your hand," she says, reaching across the kitchen table to grasp my hand.

I hadn't even noticed it, but my knuckles were bloody.

Gabby gets up and grabs the first-aid kit from the cupboard, all eyes following her before she taps my shoulder and motions for me to follow her to the bathroom. She turns to everyone who was watching, "I'm okay guys, thank you for being there," she says before we leave.

She closes the bathroom and I watch from sitting on the sink unit as she walks towards me, unclipping the first-aid case. Gabby takes my large hand in her much smaller one, frowning, "You've broken the skin."

I shake my head, "It doesn't matter," still feeling the burning anger I felt just minutes ago.

Gabby's frown deepens, "Chief, Kelly _and_ Herrmann had to pull you off him Matt, and god knows how many of them had to restrain you."

I let out a sharp breath of air, "I just heard you scream and saw red."

A begrudging smile tugged at Gabby's lips, "Well thank you anyway, I'm glad you were all there."

There was something in her voice that made me ask my next question, "Was he ever like that before?"

Gabby was washing the blood the off my hands as she shook her head, focusing on the bloody water, "No, never like that. The only time I've ever seen him remotely angry other than today, was the day I told him I was leaving Denver. He yelled a lot and as I was leaving he grabbed my hand, but when I told him to let me go he did..." A long sigh escaped her lips, "Today he seemed desperate."

"That gave him no right to put his hands on you Gabby," I hiss with fierce rage and her head snaps up, eyes looking directly into mine.

"Oh Matt, I-"

I shake my head, forcing a smile on my face, "No, it's okay."

"Thank you," she murmurs gratefully and honestly, and this time a genuine smile takes over my features.

"No worries."

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"Oh god Matt..." I moan delightfully, throwing my head back as Matt took my nipple into his mouth.

When we got home from work we had an hour or so before Shay came home - Kelly was at Erin's - and I was going to make great use of that hour. I needed to take my mind off today, off Ray, off everything, Matt was doing a damn good job.

My back arched, pushing our chests together as my hands dug into his shoulders. He then trailed kisses from the crevice of my breasts all the way down to my heat and then his mouth was _there. _His hands held mine as he worked me with his hot tongue, my loud and long moans filling the room. Then his tongue circled my sweet spot and my entire body shook and squirmed as an orgasm rocked through me. Matt rose his head to watch as I yelped his name over and over.

I pull at his chin roughly and pull him up to me, pressing my lips firmly against his. I felt him smile against them. I held his head tightly as our tongues danced their sweet dance and then suddenly Matt was entering me with his rock hard member, and my back arched once more.

My hands were all over his body, trying to touch every bit of skin that was within reach, needing to feel every part of him. Then Matt grabs my hands and pulls them above my head, pinning them in place with one hand.

"Am I putting you off you're stride?" I tease playfully as I nibble his earlobe, hearing Matt gasp.

Matt continues with his movements, thrusting in and out, hitting me only where he knew too. I yelp and clench my eyes shut, hearing Matt chuckle, "I don't know, are you?"

I buck my hips up against his and then our walls came crashing down around us, moans and shudders and gasps were all we were in that moment. Matt buries his head in the crook of my neck as we try to catch our breath, as he finally releases my hands, that come to rest on his back.

Moments later, after finding a comfortable position wrapped within each other, Matt pulled the sheet over us and sighed.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks as he brushes my hair with his fingers, as I snuggled into his chest.

"Yes," I reply, "I promise that I'm okay..." I look down at his bandaged knuckles, "I'm sure Ray's hurting a whole lot more."

Matt seems to relax at this, finally chuckling, "I hope he is..."

His fingers had now taken to running up and down my spine, a calming notion for me, "If I tell you something, will you promise to hear me out?" His voice was nervous, vulnerable even, but determined.

I nod my head, wanting to rid him of his nervous, "I promise."

Matt takes a deep breath, "When we first started this thing I think it's fair to say that we both really hated each other..."

My body stiffens.

"...But Gabby over the past few months it's clear to me that we've changed. _I've _changed. This 'thing' is different. My feelings for you have changed Gabby and I need you to know that I'm here and I don't want this to end. But I can't take our relationship being this platonic, I need more Gabby... You mean so much to me..."

I scramble out his arms, lunge to grab my clothes and I ran out the door. I pulled on my clothes quickly, heard Matt calling for me and ran down the stairs and out the door.

I guess I had my answer. If Matt said those words, which he did, I now knew that I'd be the coward and I'd run.

_Just like I'd always had. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone! **

**Whoa, 122 reviews! I never thought we'd get to this much, but hey, I'm so utterly grateful for all your kind words. Thank you so much!**

**I know that a lot of you will not like this chapter and probably the next few that follow, but I hope that you stick me with through this journey. It won't be sunshine and rainbows overnight, I want to this story to be as realistic as possible and people have to work at and want relationships in their lives. Hopefully Gabby will realise this.**

**Can't wait to see you guys think!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Casey**_

"Look Matt, Gabby's fragile... She's been through so much and she finds it hard to open up and trust others," Kelly says, all of which I already know, but I needed her to give a little. I needed to know that she was serious about this, or if not, I needed to walk away from something that would never happen.

I'd come down the stairs to find Gabby gone and Kelly returning, to whom I then explained everything that happened. I told him how I had told her that my feelings had changed and that I'd said that I needed more from whatever this was. Then I said how she ran out and I wasn't sure what was happening.

I huff loudly and run my hands through my hair, "Kelly I know that, but I can't do anything about it because she won't let me in. I keep hitting a brick wall with her... I don't know what to do."

Kelly rests his hand on my shoulder, "Gabby has to _want _to let you in, you can't do that for her. You need to make up your mind on what you want to do, because I don't want to see either of you hurt by this."

I look up at him, take in his sincere and serious expression and nod. I watch as Kelly heads upstairs and I tell him that I'm going to go find her.

I need to know what's going on so I can sort out these feelings in my head, whether it's bad or good, I need to know.

Chicago was a busy city, relentless numbers of cars on the roads, large crowds of people always bustling down the streets, constant sirens sounding somewhere in the city, but it was extremely busy at rush hour, which was the time that Gabby had decided to rush out. I checked the diner, multiple different coffee shops, the gym, but I couldn't find her. Until I saw her car parked in the parking lot of the local recreation ground. I walked around for a while, until I spotted her walking across the green field, arms wrapped around her body tightly, protecting her from the wind.

I swallowed thickly, accepting the fact that this could either go well or bad, and I had to prepare myself for both outcomes. I approached her and she stopped when she saw me, eyes puffy and red.

"Didn't think about this place at first, but then I knew that you liked to jog here..." I start when I'm near enough for her to hear me. The wind causes the trees to ruffle their leaves above us and the whistling sound was slightly unsettling. I didn't have a good feeling about this.

The look on Gabby's face was one of fear, deep seeded fear of hurt and abandonment, "Matt..." she murmurs, her voice hoarse.

"I know that you've had a rough time in life... I know that you're afraid of pain and I understand that... But Gabby, I need you to let me in. I can't keep this going without knowing anything about you and I don't think it's fair to either to us if we keep hitting this same bump in the road and never finding a solution to it," I tell her, allowing my thoughts to spill out of my mouth without questioning them.

I stuff my hands into my pocket, feeling the chill the in the air. Gabby swallows and her face contorts, as if she was torn between thoughts in her head, "I don't think I can Matt. It's hard..."

"I know and I'm not expecting you to jump into my arms and spill out everything that's happened to you. I just need to know that this as serious for you as it is for me..."

She wipes a tear from her cheek and looks down at the ground, but she doesn't reply. Gabby was decided on this. I could see it on her face, she wasn't going to let me in. And I couldn't keep on doing this if she wasn't.

My heart thumped frantically in my chest and I felt the same pain, maybe even worse, that I felt when I broke up with Hallie. I could feel my eyes sting with tears, "Then I think it's best if we end this..._thing_, whatever it is. It's not fair to either of us."

Again she doesn't say a word, but she looks up with glassy eyes and a heartbroken face, and then she nods.

"I'll see you back home," I murmur and she mouths a 'yeah', or at least I thought she did, I couldn't hear. My body was shaking and it hurt so much, but I had to do this.

I turn away and leave behind whatever that was between us, whatever any of this is. _I leave._

* * *

_A week later..._

_**Dawson**_

"Damn Dawson, this stuff is amazing. What's it called again?" Herrmann cheered as he got ready to spoon another forkful of dinner into his mouth.

I pushed my food around the plate, feeling not particularly hungry, "Moro-Locrio. This was one of the first recipes I learned to perfect when I was a kid," I reply, watching as Shay looked up at me.

Mills nodded his head as he sat beside me, "Well it's great. Pork, rice and blackbeans right?"

I force a smile onto my face, "The main ingredients yeah..."

He nudged my arm, "I think you're gonna have to teach me the recipe," he says with his big friendly grin.

"Someday," I murmur looking back down at my food, pushing a forkful of it to one side.

I was cooking like crazy. I'd provided 51 with all of its lunches over the past week whilst we were on shift and when we were off shift, I was cooking like mad at home. I was baking too, constantly supplying everyone with muffins, cookies and pastries. It took my mind off Matt and what had happened, it took my mind off the pain I was feeling of him walking away. But who could blame him? I pushed him away. I was too afraid. It was my fault.

Matt couldn't continue with someone who'd never give him anything in return but sex. He couldn't live like that, no one could live like that. I shouldn't have been so stupid enough to expect that our 'no feelings' agreement would actually work.

I tried to avoid him as much as I could, whether that be at home or 51. Shay was quietly comforting me and Kelly was quietly comforting Matt, but we were working through it. I'd just have to stick a smile on my face and convince them I was okay, because Matt seemed to be. That was all I hoped for right now, for him to be okay. He deserved that much at least.

My phone buzzed against my leg as it sat in my pocket. A text from Shay - _are you okay? _

**Yeah, **I reply simply.

_You're cooking enough to feed a small army._

**I'm fine, **I answer feeling riled up because she knew that I wasn't okay and I was pissed off that she knew. I was cooking, it was better than drinking myself to death or something, it was my coping mechanism and Shay knew it. I just wished she'd leave me alone about it.

I scrape half of my dinner into the bin and after accepting more compliments, I head out to clean the ambo. Something that I needed to focus my mind on would help me get my head out of the gutter. Well it would unless Shay came along. But I knew that she'd only make me see what was really going on with me.

_That I wasn't okay._

The smell of disinfectant clung to me like fleas on a dog as I scrubbed the ambo and I cringed as I smelled of hospitals. Ergh. Though the cleaning did help me take my mind off things, so that was a plus.

Then someone knocked lightly on the open ambo doors and I looked up to see Kelly standing there watching me, his eyes concerned. I fought the urge to roll my eyes, "Hey Kelly."

"Hey," he started slowly, "Can we talk?"

I look up at him with a raised brow, "Do I get a choice?"

A grin tugs at his lips as he looks down and shakes his head, "Nah, not really... Gab, with what happened-"

"Kelly, it was for the best. We couldn't keep doing what we were doing - Matt made the right decision," I say logically, but I could hear my own voice in the back of my head disagreeing with every word I said.

"Gab, you're miserable."

"Kelly you were the one who said you didn't want to see either of us hurt and that we should stop it if I couldn't commit to it. That's what we did. Let's just leave it," I huff with exasperation, not wanting to talk about it because I didn't want to break down in front of Kelly.

I didn't want to admit what I was feeling and that just screamed coward.

* * *

I trudge down the stairs still half asleep whilst rubbing my eyes to the point of seeing stars. _Worst night sleep ever. _I pull my wild and frizzy into a ponytail, securing it with a band, not wanting to have to deal with the extra pain of a bad hair day.

Through sleepy eyes I see three figures sitting on the sofa and chair, "Morning," I groan with the most awful voice imaginable, my body crying out for beloved coffee. Thankfully the pot was half full so I poured the biggest mug possible and sat at the table, resting my head in my hand, eyes shutting once more.

I felt a hand pat my back as the chair beside me was pulled out, the legs scraping across the floor. I grimaced and winced at the sound.

"Bad night?" Shay asked plopping down into the chair.

"The worst," I yawned before gulping down some coffee, hoping that it would provide me with some well-needed energy. I rubbed my eyes once more and sat up, opening my eyes to see Shay staring at me.

"You gonna be cooking for us today?" Shay teases lightly.

I raise a brow at her, "I ran out of supplies," I countered with a sigh, "I'll go shopping later."

Shay nudged my arm, "How about we go now? Then we can grab lunch later?"

I nod my head, wanting to get out of the apartment for a while, "Sure thing," I answer, rising out of my seat, heading back upstairs to get ready.

A while later I head back downstairs to wait for Shay, opening the coat-closet to grab my jacket. The closet was a mess and I decided that it needed to be cleaned, another chore for my agenda. Anything to keep me busy.

I shut the door and turn around, bumping into something hard and warm. Matt's chest. I freeze, my entire body going into shock. This was the closest we'd been with each other since last week and suddenly my pulse was racing, the sound pounding in my ears.

He looks down at me, his expression unclear, but he doesn't move away. I clench my hands into fists to resist the urge to pull him close and press my lips to his. Our eyes meet, bright blue against dark brown, and in that moment my heart took over and the voice in my head quieted. My heart wanted him. My heart was ready to want to him.

But I couldn't want him. Matt had ended this and I couldn't go messing with his head because he appeared to be okay, to be happy. I couldn't mess with that. He deserved all the happiness in the world.

"Hi," I breathed, trying to be as casual as possible but desperately failing.

"Hey," Matt replied, his voice thick and husky and desirable.

And then Shay bounded down the stairs saying 'Let's go' and she whisked me out the door without a second to spare.

We rode in my car, Shay drove and throughout the entire time all I could think about was Matt, his face, his smile, his laugh, his wonderful personality.

And I thought about how I'd ruined everything with him and how much I hated myself for being such a coward.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys!**

**I'm humbled and extremely shocked by your enthusiasm for this story and for the kind reviews that you all leave. It's incredible and it's one of the best feelings in the world to know that you share something so personal with other people you've never met. Thank you for all you're support.**

**This chapter is sort of a part 1 as in the next chapter it will directly pick up where we leave off, so it's sort of part 2. ****Erin appears in this chapter and in the next, you'll see her and Gabby finally talk, revealing a little more about Gabby's past. **

**I hope you enjoy!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

"So Herrmann, how far along is Cindy now?" I ask as I squeeze onto the sofa between Herrmann and Cruz. Mouch was nowhere to be seen, which was awfully strange.

Herrmann sighs, "Ah, 37 weeks," he rasps, "And trust me, that woman is _never _early."

My jaw drops and I swat his leg, "Christopher Herrmann, just be glad that you never have to experience labour. That poor women, you've put her through this four times!"

Herrmann holds his hands up in surrender, "Yeah, well we have three great kids and one on the way to show for it."

I smile with awe, "Do you think you'll have another?"

Herrmann looks shocked and even slightly scared and Cruz laughs beside me, "Let's just get the fourth one out before we think about anymore Dawson," he chuckles, patting my leg.

Then Mouch saunters into the room dressed up in a pressed black tux with a black tie resting on a crisp white shirt. A few of the guys whistled at him, Severide clapped.

"Whoa Mouch, you look great!" I exclaim, "I love the tux. What's the occasion?" I ask as he does a very purposeful turn. I laugh and Cruz rolls his eyes.

"Why thank you my beautiful lady," he compliments, striding up to the couch and standing the tight space between the table and my legs, "Do you have any plans for this evening?" Mouch asks, adding an aura of sophistication to his voice.

"Er, not that I know of, why?" I question with a confused expression.

Mouch then bows and takes my hand, "Ms. Gabriela Dawson, would you do me the extraordinary honor of accompanying me to the Firefighter Gala this evening. We leave straight after shift."

"Erm, I'd love to, but I don't have anything I need-"

"No worries, I'll take her in 61!" Shay yelps loudly from behind us and then I smile back at Mouch.

"Then it's a done deal. I'm all yours Mouch."

* * *

So then 8 hours later I was on Mouch's arm as we arrived at the gala, the others moving around us. Everyone was here, well except for Kelly and Matt. Mills asked Shay if she would go with him and she bashfully accepted after making Mills squirm that he wasn't getting any because she was gay. Mills chuckled, already knowing this.

Shay whistled as I approached and I looked away after feeling people's eyes on me, "Hot damn girl...I still think you should've gone with the purple dress though."

"That one is hardly appropriate," I chide with a roll of my eyes. I was wearing my floor-length black dress that slipped gently to the floor but clung to my body, with black lace detail from the waist upwards, frilling along the top of the dress but the lace didn't continue up the straps. I wore my hair in gentle curls around my shoulders, keeping my make-up relatively light with the only thing standing out being my red lips and smoky eyes.

"Well I think you look beautiful Gabriela," Mouch complimented, patting the hand that held onto his arm.

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek, "Thank you Mouch, but you definitely upstage me. You scrub up well."

I feel Otis grasp our shoulders and push us gently inside, "Come on lovebirds, we're missing the best party of the year."

We enter the gala which was bustling with people, a few of whom I recognised from other houses, with jazz music playing in the background. The party was practically in full swing, tables of people laughing and talking. The tables were covered with white cloths and flowers and little cards. The stage was being prepared for the speakers, one of whom I knew to be the Chief.

Mouch led me to our table, where we would be sitting with Chief, Herrmann, Otis, Cruz, Mills and Shay. Shay wiggled in beside me, Mills by her side, accepting a glass of wine from a waiter. We all took our wine and sat, listening as Herrmann gave us an update on Cindy.

"Ah," he waved his hand, "I didn't want to come, but she insisted, so we compromised on regular text updates."

I sipped at my wine, "How far along did so go with the others?" I ask looking over at Herrmann, who was tapping his phone as it sat on the table.

"With all three she went to 41 weeks, so I'd put my money on this one going over the mark too," Herrmann rasps as Chief pats him on the shoulder.

"Well I think that you can relax for tonight," Chief comforts, trying to soothe Herrmann's jumpiness.

"Yeah," Mills grinned his big heart-warming grin, "Like you said, she's never early!"

About half hour later Herrmann was much more relaxed and he wasn't constantly eyeing his phone for the next possible 'I'm in labour' text, and the guys were doing a great job of taking his mind off worrying. Cruz ribbed Mills about some prank they'd pulled on him on his first day, Otis defended his love of sci-fi with honor and loyalty as Herrmann poked fun of it and Shay kept us entertained with tales about my younger and more wild years.

Shay laughed before continuing the story as I narrowed my eyes at her, "So she's as drunk as a sailor and because everyone else is pretty drunk too they follow her lead. Somehow she gets this wonderful idea to pull apart an ironing board and use the board as a surfboard down the stairs, claiming that she'll be like those hot surfer girls you see in California. So she dragged this board to the top of the stairs, climbed aboard with a couple of people and-"

"Flew down the stairs and through the door at the bottom," my god, it'd been years since I heard that raspy low voice. I froze instantly, suddenly afraid of confronting Erin after all these years. I swallowed thickly.

I turned in my seat and saw Kelly and Erin standing there, all dressed up in a suit and pale blue dress. She'd changed, she looked different, but she was still the Erin that I remembered.

"Erin," I babbled with shock evident in my voice. I'd expected her to look angry or annoyed, but after all these years, after everything I'd done, she smiled at me.

"Hey Gabby," Erin smiled, her face welcoming and full of warmth. Severide stood beside her, their arms intertwined, a look of happiness in his eyes as his lips tugged with a small smile. He looked pleasantly surprised that we were okay with each other.

"You look beautiful Gabs," Kelly says when he realised that I was so shocked that I couldn't do anything but stare at her. Guilt stuck like a block of iron at the pit of my stomach.

I murmur a 'thank you' as they move to take their seats at our table, eyes locked on Erin. The guys had witnessed this exchange and were throughly confused, but they instantly jumped to conversation with Erin once she and Severide were seated.

"Are cops even allowed at these things?" Otis asked before Herrmann swatted the upside of his head, rolling his eyes at Otis' stupidity. Everyone laughed and I did too, finally coming out of my stupidly shocked state.

"So any word from Kendra?" I nudge Shay, poking for news about Shay's on-off thing with Kendra, a resident doctor at Lakeshore. They were constantly on and off and I was struggling to keep up, but I knew Shay really liked her and I knew that Kendra liked Shay back, so I wondered what the problem was. Shay couldn't give me an answer.

Shay shook her head and sighed, "I don't know Gabs. I don't know what we're doing anymore."

I place my hand over her own as Shay stared at her phone. I knew she wanted to call her, but she was letting whatever was in her head to stop her, "Just call her Shay. You like each other. Get over it and have some fun. You guys shouldn't be stressing like this over something so new. You should be at it like rabbits and shouting profanities from the rooftops about how much you adore each other."

Shay stared at me for a moment before realisation seeped into her features and a smile graced her gorgeous face, "That's pretty damn good advice," she laughs as she gives me a quick hug across our chairs.

I rest my head into her shoulder as she did the same to me, "I just want you to be happy..."

Then I feel her body freeze.

I lean back and take in her facial features, her eyes were wide and her jaw was practically on the floor, "Shay? What is it?" I ask before I turn my head.

My stomach dropped.

A dull pounding took over my hearing, my heart aching in my chest as my eyes burned with tears. Matt was walking down the stairs to the gala, looking absolutely perfect as he walked with Hallie on his arms, looking astoundingly beautiful. If I didn't know what she'd put him through I'd be happy for him, jealous definitely, but happy for him that he'd found someone. They genuinely looked great with each other, but she'd cheated on him and hurt Matt enough for him to protect himself with an ulterior personality.

But all I could feel was concern and worry for him and anger at the fact that he'd gone back to the very person who broke him, into a smattering of pieces of himself.

"Is that?" I ask, wanting confirmation but needing none, after seeing a photo of her and by the shell-shocked faces of everyone around me.

Kelly growled, "What the hell is he doing?"

Matt and Hallie hit the bottom of the stairs and I finally have to pull my eyes away from them, feeling physical pain at watching him with someone else. Someone who hurt him so badly and then it hit me.

I regret it.

I regret not opening up, not allowing him in because I feared the very pain I was experiencing right now because I pushed him away. I messed up. I ruined the very thing that could have shone up my life in ways I'd never thought possible for me. I'd let Matt go and now I was the paying the price of that very stupid decision.

Mouch took my hand and lead me towards the dancefloor before I could object, not that I wanted too. Matt and Hallie were making their way towards our table and I really didn't want to have to sit through that awkward half-conversation as everyone tried to be civil but failed. I didn't want to have to look Matt in his eyes and see whatever was hiding in those blue orbs because no matter what it would be, it would hurt. Because I'd put it there.

Mouch placed his hand on my back as we began a slow dance, completely out of step with the music but we didn't care. I'd found a true friendship with Mouch, he was the type of person who said his opinion but neither forced it down your throat or hurt you with it. He was wise and no doubt funny, and underneath the exterior of a tough firefighter held an honest man with a heart of gold.

"Hard huh?" I heard Mouch mumble, as I stared at our table where Matt and Hallie stood, staring at the backs of their heads.

I jumped at the sound of his voice, "What?" I murmur breathily, tearing my eyes away from them and looking back at Mouch.

He cocks his head towards Matt before we swirl our feet finally moving in time with the slower music, "Watching him with her? It's hard."

I nod my head and bite my lip, feeling comfortable enough to open up to Mouch because he was such an understanding guy who was thoughtful and kind, "Yeah, harder knowing that maybe I drove him back to her."

Mouch sighs, "We make our own choices in life."

"And I made mine, Mouch... I pushed him away," I said with a quiet tentative voice, finally realising what I should've all along, "That was on me."

"So, you two..."

I swallow thickly, "It was a complicated mess that we didn't believe was a complicated mess... I have a hard time opening up to people and when Matt wanted more, I ran away, literally... And I screwed it up."

Mouch takes a second to answer, lifting our hands so that he can make me twirl before returning to the slow dance we'd perfected together, "The beauty of life Gabriela, is that it keeps on going. We can rectify our mistakes and we can apologise for them. We get second chances."

I shake my head, looking back at Matt and Hallie who were know seated at the table, "I don't think I get a second chance with this..."

A knowing smile pulls at his lips, "Turtle doves Gabriela, you're turtle doves."


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone! **

**Again, I would like to thank you all for your reviews and constant support. They mean so much!**

**So this is part 2. I hope you enjoy. It was a good chapter to write!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

It wasn't long before Chief was called up to make his speech after a line of others, celebrating those who fought for this city, who had sadly lost their lives and those who had been injured on the job. I'd taken my seat between Shay and Mouch once more, happy that Matt and Hallie were on the other end of the table, near Erin and Kelly. From the look on Kelly's face, he was completely mortified and furious with Matt. After all, Kelly and Shay were the ones who were left to pick up the pieces when Hallie broke his heart, there's no doubt that he'd be angry.

Chief sets his sheet of paper down on the podium, the small black microphone propped up on it so his voice could be projected around the hall. The thing with Chief Boden was that he could capture an entire room's attention without saying a word, his presence alone did this and the room looked up at him, waiting for him to speak.

He cleared his throat before looking up at his audience, "I would like to thank everyone for coming out tonight to support our CFD and every single man and woman apart of it... Every year we sit in this hall and usually, we talk about the bad times that this job puts each and every one of us through..."

A few people nodded their heads, but every single face in the room agreed with him, understood him, "Tonight, I'd like to remind us all about the good... Our Firehouse's, they house everything from our Trucks to our equipment, even ourselves. But within those walls, lies a family. A family that was brought together because of their desire to serve this city..."

I couldn't agree with him more, 51 was a family, 51 was _our_ family, "And a family whose bonds will not be broken. There are times when it'll be rough... times when we're all brought to our knees because of what we've seen on the job... but we know that we'll have our family standing right beside us, every step of the way...because that's what families do. We've loved, we've lost, but ultimately we'll always be a family..."

I wasn't sure why my eyes were stinging with tears, but they were. Maybe because I felt every word he was saying, maybe because it hit home. "Truth is, the CFD is home to everyone is this room and I would like to thank the men and women who serve this city with honor, bravery and loyalty. You're all heroes in my book."

Chief was clapped and cheered as he walked off stage, the clapping not subsiding until he returned to his seat, where a few of the guys patted his shoulder. He brushed them off humbly, as if he hadn't just made one awesome speech.

"Well Chief," Mouch announced, holding up his glass of wine. The rest of us followed, "Thank you for that great speech. To Chief Boden!"

"To Chief!" We cheered as our glasses clinked together as they met in the middle of the table, a family, however normal or dysfunctional, coming together.

* * *

I was hiding.

And yes, I was aware of how chickenshit and cowardly I was being, but I definitely didn't want to run into Hallie, _again._ I was minding my business as I stood at the bar, waiting for the barmen to give me our round - I was collecting them for most of the table - when a voice sounded from behind me and I recognised it from the table.

_"Hey, you're Gabriela Dawson right? The new fourth housemate?"_

_I flinched at the sound of her perfect voice, wanting desperately for the ground to open up and for me to fall into it. I turned around and tried to hide my awkwardness and definite anger from her, "Yeah... I am. Hallie right?"_

_She smiles back at me, clearly not aware of my inner emotions, "That's me. You also work at 51 too?"_

_I nod, wondering where she was going with this or whether she was just trying to be friendly, "I'm the PIC on 61."_

_"Must be great then, working with Leslie?"_

_"Yeah it is. The whole house actually, they're great guys."_

_Hallie glances off at the table for a second, her lips pursed in a tight line as she says, "Yeah..."_

_And then the words slip out of my mouth before I can control them, "So what's the deal with you and Matt?"_

_She was either shocked for me to ask such a question or she was shocked that I was being so upfront with her, when everyone else was acting like she hadn't broke Matt's heart, "We're...trying to make a go of it."_

_I decide launching into a bitter tirade about what I thought of her, I choose against it. Because one, I simply had no right to so and two, I didn't want her to pick up on the fact that I had feelings for Matt, "Well good for you. Excuse me, I have to get back with everyone's drinks."_

And then I'd rushed away from the bar, holding a tray of drinks that thankfully I didn't manage to spill everywhere. So after dancing with Mouch for a while I'd excused myself as he took the hand of a beautiful middle-aged brunette, and they took to the floor as I scurried away onto the balcony of the hall.

My hands made contact with the cool balcony wall as I looked up to the sky. It was a clear night with a few stars in the sky and little clouds, and the air was chilly. Cold even. But I didn't mind, if it meant not bumping into Hallie again or seeing her and Matt together, it was worth a few goosebumps and shivers.

Erin. I had to say that I wasn't all that shocked when I saw her with Kelly, I assumed she was coming when Shay said that she was going with Mills, what I was shocked about was the fact that she looked at me with true care and kindness.

Honestly, I'd expected her to want to rip my hair out or throw a punch or something. But almost six years had passed and Erin had forgiven me. True was, she'd forgiven me years ago, but I was too guilt-ridden and a thousand miles away in Denver to do anything about it. Erin knew that I didn't mean a word of what I said to her that night, well I hoped she did, because everything I said to her was cruel and untrue.

The words I'd told Matt, that night I cried in his arms about her, rang in my head - _"She's the reason why I'm not dead." _

In many ways she'd saved my life twice.

"Hey," it was that voice again and not the one that made me flinch. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her pale blue dress lean up against the wall, a foot or two from where I was standing, and she looked up to the sky.

"Erin," I almost gasped, turning my head to look at her. Same old Erin.

Erin smiled at me before nodding her head to the sky, "Beautiful night huh?"

I nod which gave me a second to think of words that actually made sense, "Yeah, I can never see the sky like this from our apartment. Street lights."

"I have the same problem... So what brings you out here all alone in the cold?"

"Well my date is kinda preoccupied with a woman much more suited to him," I laugh, "And I'm also avoiding an awkward encounter," I explain, realising how easy this was. Talking with Erin. Like six years hadn't passed and I hadn't said those words.

A look of understanding dawns on her face, "Ah, the ex? Hallie?"

"Yeah, that's the one... Look Erin, truthfully I'm surprised that you're talking to me... Kelly has said that you didn't hate me, but I was too chickenshit to do anything about it. And I feel so guilty about what I said, I honestly couldn't face you..."

"I'm not all that scary, am I?" She teased lightly, trying to put me at ease. It worked.

"No," I shake my head with a small smile, "I'm so sorry for blaming you like I did. I was out of line and none of what happened was your fault. None of it. You didn't pull that trigger or make me take those pills, I blamed you because it was easier on me and that was not fair at all... If it weren't for you, I'd be dead and I owe you everything for that."

As Erin looked up at the black sky I saw her glassy eyes and her lip quiver. She knew, she had to have known that I was sorry, but to finally hear the words, to hear my apology, must have a been a huge weight off her shoulders.

I reached over and placed a hand over her own, "I'm sorry Erin..." I whisper, trying to contain my own tears.

Then she pulls me to her chest, her arms wrapping tightly around me as I do the same to her. And it felt like I was eighteen all over again, crying into her arms as she held me tightly, promising that she'd never let me go.

"It's almost been six years..." she murmurs into my hair.

"I know... sometimes it feels like only yesterday. I can remember everything, you're text, sneaking out, coming home to the police cars and red tape..."

Erin lets me drawl off before she leans back, brushing my hair out of my face and the tears from my cheeks. Once her tears subsided, she smiles, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear, "They'd be so proud you Gabby. You're parents would be so proud of the woman you've become and of the mountains you've climbed to get to where you are today."

I bite my lip to stop myself from crying, "One of them tried to appeal last year..."

Erin nods with understanding, "It would never go to court Gabby... People who commit home invasions that lead to double-murder don't walk after five years."

I take a deep breath and try to compose myself, allowing the cool air to calm my flushed cheeks. I slip my hand into her own as she pulls me inside, the cold air now too much for both of us.

"Come on," she smiles, "I want us to catch up and I promise if Hallie tries to talk to you again I'll cuff her."

I laugh as we return to the warm hall, sliding past people to get to our table, feeling that a part of me that damaged all those years ago had healed. The part that hurt Erin and let her go, had finally healed.

* * *

**_Severide_**

When no one was looking I grab the scruff of his collar and push him into the bathroom, thankful that the only guy in there was drying his hands. He quickly slipped out and I locked the door behind him.

Then Matt screeched, "What the hell Kelly?" whilst clenching his fists, probably deliberating on whether to hit me or not.

"I think you know fully well what the fuck this is about Matt!" I shout, half because I was mad and half because I was slightly drunk. Matt was too and I could see that this wasn't exactly the best time to jump down his throat, but right now I didn't care.

Matt's eyes widened before a tirade of anger started, "What I do and with who has nothing-"

I scoff because I was pissed off with his charade, one that I was familiar with, because I'd heard it not so long ago. When Hallie had dumped him and he ran back to her for a week or so before I stopped it.

"Don't give me that bullshit Matt! Hallie? Are you out of your mind? Don't you remember what a fucking mess you were when she cheated on you?!"

He looked at me seriously, his words deathly low as he spoke, "We're gonna make another go of it."

"This is because of Gabby isn't it? You're running back to Hallie to get away from her, aren't you?"

I'd clearly hit a nerve, because Matt exploded with anger. He kicked the wall beside him rather than kick me I assume, before he screamed, "Not everything has to do with her okay? We're over, done. Whatever it was, it's finished. She doesn't care, neither do I..."

_I knew that he was talking a load of crap, but I didn't think it wise to call him up on it right now. _

"I don't think you believe that Matt..." I say simply, "And remember that I'm trying to look out for you... I was the one dragging you home or picking you up from the floor after you drank yourself stupid because Hallie did what she did. I'm _concerned_ Matt," I stress the word, hoping to get through his thick drunk skull that I wasn't the one against him here.

"You're problem is that whatever you feel you feel it ten times worse than the rest of us. For us, it makes you a good person who we can talk to because you always understand. For you, it either sends you into euphoria or hell. Take a look around and think real hard about what you want to feel Matt, because do you really want to end up back where you were three months ago?"

I unlock the door and leave, leaving Matt to decide and leaving me hoping that he'll make the right decision for himself.

Honestly, I knew he'd more than a drunken argument to wise up, but it was a start. At least I hoped it was.


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone!**

**A huge shout out to all those of you who've been reviewing this story! You guys rock and you keep me motivated!**

**I've just started back school and I know that this year it's going to be intense, but I can ensure you that I will write whenever I can and update as often as possible! I will make sure that I update at least once a week!**

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter - I really think you will!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

_"Kelly asked me to look into you're life in Denver... I know I crossed a line, but Kelly was really worried about you. He thought that you were hiding something."_

_"Well I was, but it's not on you Erin. I'm glad they know. In a way, it's a weight off my shoulders..."_

_"...I'm glad you came home, whatever the reason. It's nice to have you back... We all missed you."_

_"I missed you guys too, but honestly, I thought you'd still want to wring my neck. I said the most cruel things and I blamed you for mom and dad dying, for me not being there, and I regret everything I said. None of it was true."_

_"I knew you didn't mean it, but I just didn't expect it... You went through that crap with Wesley and then you're parents were murdered... You were angry and upset and lost. Give yourself some credit Gab."_

_"That never gave me a right to blame you."_

_"True, but when people die, people we love leave us, we just try to find a way to cope. To get through the shit."_

_"...Erin, I'm really glad we're friends again."_

_"We always were."_

I spent a few hours with Erin before Kelly whisked her away for a romantic meal somewhere, picking up pizza as I made my way back to the apartment. It had been a few days since the gala and tensions in the apartment were high. Both Kelly and Shay were angry with Matt who, from what I'd heard, was still hanging around with Hallie. I'd overheard Shay telling Kelly that she 'didn't want to see Matt hurt like that again.' They were just concerned for him, but after Kelly confronted Matt at the gala, Matt wasn't really talking to them all that much.

Jeez, how could things get so messed up like this?

Whilst balancing the pizza box in one hand I unlocked the door and slipped inside, locking up behind me. I was pretty sure Kelly wouldn't be home tonight and Shay had a hot date with Kendra - they were gonna give it a real go, have fun together but they were exclusive too, I was happy for her, she deserved this - and if things were going my way, Matt would be with Hallie too.

_Date night with Netflix._

I had to admit that I wasn't coping well without Matt. That sounded silly yes, but I found myself constantly battling inner emotions that I knew I had to bottle away. I'd realised what I felt too late and now Matt had moved on, I couldn't start jumping about expressing myself to him after I shut him out. That wasn't fair to him at all. He'd tried so hard with me, I couldn't mess him around like this.

But the thing was, he'd sort of become my rock. The sex was merely physical, but we'd laid together afterwards, talking endlessly about mindless things. _Matt had the cutest pillow talk._ And I watched his arrogant-persona slip away, and the real Matt appeared. He was funny, caring, generous, honest, loyal and beautiful, inside and out. I'd witnessed him become the man Shay had talked about all those months ago.

_I fell in love with that man._

Truth was, I think I fell in love with all of him, arrogance and all. We were binded in a way I couldn't explain, but it felt like our hearts beat to the same rhythm, like he was the one. There wasn't just a _want, _I _needed _Matt. I'd accepted him for who he was and I him, even though I hide many things about myself from him. But I could be myself, my cynical, sarcastic and bitchy self. He took the bad and the good without a bat of an eyelid, he'd accepted my flaws because he had flaws too, but he could look past them into the good of a person. Matt always saw the good in someone. We could have been great.

_And maybe I'd never get the chance to see how great it would have been, but I'd be content to know that Matt was happy. That much I could ask for._

Before I dropped my pizza on the floor and completely ruined my date night with myself, I rushed over to the kitchen counter and placed it down. I kicked off my boots and pulled off my socks, the cool tile flooring of the kitchen soothing my achy feet. I pulled off my jacket and went to throw it over a chair at the dining table when I saw broken glass on the floor.

Upon further inspection I found a vodka bottle opened on the table and the glass was one of the ones from the shelf. The vodka bottle was open, but little if any had been drunk. _Matt?_

I called his name aloud, gaining no reply. I checked in the downstairs bathroom, but found it empty so I rushed upstairs instead. A pit of dread settling in my stomach and concerned taking over my body. Matt's room was empty too, but the door to the boy's bathroom was shut and I could see light underneath the door. I knocked lightly, "Matt? Is that you?"

I heard shuffling but he didn't answer me, I reached down to open the door but it was locked. Every in my body screamed worry for him and I knew that I needed to get the door open, "Matt? Can you open the door please?"

Days could have passed by before I heard the click of the bathroom door unlock and then with a shaky head I pushed down on the handle, swinging the door open.

He sat pressed against the bathtub, knees tucked to his chest, arms wrapped loosely around them with a broken expression on his face. His eyes were red and puffy and his hair was messy from him running his hands through it, _what had happened? _

I kneel beside him, tentatively resting a hand on his knee. Matt didn't flinch away or look disgusted, he just stared at my hand on his jean-clothed knee.

My throat felt dry as I spoke, my voice small as I looked at him, "What's happened?"

Matt looks away, staring blankly at something in the opposite direction to me. I sigh sadly after realising that he wasn't ready to talk just yet and shuffle around so that I can lean against the bathtub too, our shoulders touching. We sit in silence for a long time, listening to our quiet inhales and exhales, and we don't move at all. I wanted him to know that I wasn't going anywhere.

I hadn't even realised that he was beginning to talk when his voice registered in my head, causing me to turn my head to see him, "...I couldn't do it anymore. With Hallie. I couldn't..."

My hand on his knee instinctively squeezed gently, hoping that the small gesture would comfort him in a big way, "I kept thinking about her with that guy and everything she said afterwards... I can't get over it... I broke it off with her... I don't want to end up where I was before with her."

I couldn't help but think that this was what was best for him, but I felt selfish for feeling so. Was I just glad that Hallie was out of the picture? In a way yes, but a large part of me just didn't want to see him hurt anymore, "Then why are you lying here upset? And why is there a broken glass downstairs with vodka?"

Matt places his hand over mine looking at me sadly, "It's hard to let go of something you've held onto for so long... I thought about drinking myself silly to try to forget about her, but it would have never worked. I've tried that before. I won't end up like that again."

Forcing back tears a skewered smile pulled on my lips, "I'm glad you didn't resort to vodka."

"Me too," he nods, "I hate hangovers."

And in spite of myself, I laughed. Matt did too. Then I watched as tears slipped down his face and I didn't stop myself when I wrapped my arms around him, and pulled him to my chest. I felt his hands encircle my waist, "I just want to be happy Gabby."

My hand was stroking the back of his head as my own rested on his shoulder, "You will," I murmur choking back tears.

* * *

We'd sat there until Matt's tears had dried up when I suggested that we go downstairs, eat some pizza before I cleaned up the broken glass. So did, eating almost cold pizza in silence before I took a broom to the mess. Matt watched as I moved, a little annoyed that I'd told him that I would clean up alone.

"Don't you miss it?"

I looked up at him with confusion as he leaned his elbows on the back of the sofa, pausing my movements with the broom, "Miss what?"

"You and me," Matt said seriously, "Do you miss it?"

I looked down at the broken shards of glass, twinkling in the light from the ceiling. I thought about lying, the lie twitching on my tongue, but I'd spent most of my life running, I was going to face this. The truth came out as a murmur, but he heard me, "Yes."

Matt saw this as a starting point, it probably was, "Do you miss the sex? Or do you miss everything?"

I look up at him deciding that this was no time for sarcasm or teasing, "I miss everything Matt... I even miss what we didn't have."

He gets up from the sofa and moves around so that he was standing in front of it, about ten feet away from me. I clutched the broom tightly in my hand, using it for support. _Now or never Gabby,_ I told myself. _Either open up now or risk losing Matt forever._

"I just wanted you to open up to me."

I nod and look away again, unable to meet his penetrating eyes. It was if they were reading me like a book, understanding more about myself than I did. I guess Matt did, "I know," I reply, "I wanted to, I tried-"

"But you couldn't," he finished for me, his words without insult or judgement. He was just stating facts.

"You have to understand that I've run from anything that can hurt me for my entire life. It's hard to break that habit... And part of me was scared that you'd run away when you knew the truth," this was not only something that I was admitting to him, but to myself also.

"Trust me," Matt smiled, running his hand through his unruly hair, "I've tried everything I can to get away from you and I can't. I'm not going anywhere."

I smiled back at him through teary eyes, finding comfort and absolute truth in his words. He said them with confident, certainty, pride even, _Matt wasn't going anywhere._

Then I wiped at my cheeks and decided that if Matt was giving me this, giving me himself, then I had to give myself to him too. I had to let him in and trust that he wasn't going to hurt me, "Then I think I'm ready..."

Matt's eyes widened slightly, "You are?"

I nod a few times, "I'll let you in Matt. I _want _to let you in."

Matt walks towards me, easing the broom from my hand and resting it against the table. He then slips his fingers between mine, squeezing my hand as he leads me to the sofa. I shake my head and motion for us to go upstairs, Matt complies without question.

We end up in my room curled on my bed. Matt lay on his back with his head behind his head as as I sat cross-legged beside his body, our hands intertwined on his chest. He waited patiently for me to talk, not saying a word, just letting me process everything.

"Just promise me one thing?" I whisper vulnerably, tapping my index finger nervously against the back of his hand.

"Anything," Matt answers in the same tone, his face without judgement of me. Matt was accepting me for _me_, accepting me for every flaw and every strength.

"You'll sleep here tonight? I want to hold you."

Matt smiles softly, nodding his head against the pillow as he squeezes my hand once more, "Sounds good to me."


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone!**

**I'm so glad that you guys enjoyed the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one even more though, I think you will!**

**Thanks for the great reviews once again. 161! Whoa! You guys are amazing!**

**Have a great day you awesome people!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

I wondered where to start. There was so much to say, so much that had happened, so much that I would have to tell him. I wondered how much he could take, if he could take everything I'd tell him or if he'd run away. But Matt had trusted me with his past, trusted me with the information of his mom killing his abusive dad, so I had to trust that Matt would take on my past too.

I'll have to start from when I was 16, that's where everything really happened. Matt had taken to running his thumb along my knuckles, calming me as I deliberated in my head, our hands gently rising and falling as they lay on his chest.

"It really starts when I was sixteen... I was a part of a small but solid group of friends. We weren't popular or nerdy, just people. I got some attention from this senior named Wesley and I was some naïve sophomore..."

I could feel my throat clenching, constricting the words as I tried to force them out of my mouth. I paused to try to calm myself enough to continue, focusing on Matt's gentle touches of my hand, "Bet you were a hot sophomore though," Matt joked lightly, easing some of the tension from my body. My lips tugged into a half-smile, his words doing their job by soothing me.

I raised my brow at him, "Maybe I was... Well I wasn't one to know many people or the gossip in the school, so I didn't know that he was dating this girl called Amy. He said that we were dating and I believed him, he took me on dates but ones where we were never in public where we could been seen... I lost my virginity to him. God, I regret that now, but when he told me that he loved me, I believed him because he was the first boy who ever made me feel special..."

A bitter expression was on my face as I relived my feelings from back then, realising how stupid I'd been. If I could go back with the knowledge I have now, I would have told Wesley just where to go. Matt murmured quietly, "He's a jerk..."

I shook my head, "And I was stupid. Well I saw him with Amy, they were kissing in the hall and I confronted him. Wesley tried worming his way out of it with stupid excuses, but I knew what was going on. So I told Amy what was going on and somehow, everything got turned on me. I was the sophomore slut who kept throwing herself at Wesley, he'd just took what he was given etc. I became the school whore overnight and my friends...well...they pushed me aside. They didn't want to be associated with me, they pretended I didn't exist and I was left alone..."

Matt exhales angrily, shaking his head against his arms. He lifts our intertwined hands to kiss my hand, "I wish I knew you back then."

I look back at him sadly, "Me too... So I went through a really bad time. I was depressed and if I wasn't in school, which I hated going to, I was sat in my room. Eventually the tears dried up and I was blank, I felt empty. Mom and dad tried their best with me, but I was really considering ending it all..."

I watched the hurt flicker in his eyes, the worry and pain very clear as he looked at me. I assured him with my next words, "And then I met Kelly and Shay. They took me under their wing, looked after me and made me their friend. They were _true _friends. They accepted me for everything. I was happy, they made me happy and we were great together. I was better, they took me out of the hole I was in. Because they were seniors when they left for college I found it hard, but I realised that I had nothing to be ashamed about and they made me stronger. I was happy."

"And somehow we met Erin and she became apart of our group. She and I were partners in crime. I could be myself around them and they did judge me. They opened up to me too, we were the best friends we all needed... And then one night Erin texted me asking me to sneak out so we could meet some guys. Shay and Kelly were at night classes, but we went anyway. I snuck out and when I got home at 2am, the house...the house..."

"Sssh," Matt soothed as tears stung in my eyes, my throat clenching.

I forced myself to continue otherwise I'd never tell him, "The house was surrounded with cops and ambulances and cop cars. The neighbours were outside, all crowded behind yellow tape. I freaked out and rushed inside before anyone could stop me...I saw dad...dad was...he was dead. Shot... Mom was dead too... These two guys broke in and when..."

"Gabby-"

"When Mom and dad woke up they shot them... Antonio was on duty. He was there... he pulled me outside... I don't remember much after that... I was told that I kept screaming and fighting... That I wanted to go home and just go to bed..."

"I'm so sorry," Matt says as he sits up and wraps his arms around me, cradling me as I cried into his chest.

"Well after all this happened I spiraled out of control. I did everything I could to drink, I slept with god now's how many men. I was uncontrollable. Antonio and Laura couldn't talk to me let alone talk me out of it. Kelly and Shay tried with me but I pushed them away... I blamed Erin for everything. I told her that it was her fault. That if I hadn't snuck out with her then I would have died with them... I _wanted _to have died with them..."

Then I looked into his eyes as I told him the worst of it, "...I couldn't take it no more... I ended up in that place again and I tried... I took a bunch of painkillers... I'd texted Erin that I was sorry and then I blacked out... I woke up in the hospital a few hours later. Erin had found me in time and called an ambulance... I went to counselling for a while, but I just wanted out of the city. I couldn't keep driving past the places I'd associated with mom and dad... I told Erin to leave me alone. I told everyone that I was leaving...and then I went."

And just like that, he knew everything.

_And honestly, it felt great._

Great that I was no longer hiding anything from him, that he knew everything about me and I knew everything about him. We were on the same page. There was no wedge between us now, nothing stopping us or holding us back.

I felt him shuffle onto his knees before he moved towards me, then I felt his hands cup my wet cheeks, tilting my head slowly so that I could look up into his sincere blue eyes. "You're so strong," he murmured with an undeniable honesty in his voice and I felt myself burst into tears once more.

Matt held me close to his chest, his large arms enclosing me holding my body tight to him as if I would disappear. I felt safe there in his arms, as safe as I'd ever felt. It felt right.

"I just wanted to be with mom and dad. I wanted to have been there when the house was broken in to. I _wanted _to have died with them. Antonio wouldn't listen to none of it, but it was how I felt. I put them through hell and when I found out that Laura was pregnant with Eva, I knew I had to leave. I couldn't keep putting them under the stress of me being out of control..."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. You went through so much, there's no _right _way of dealing with grief," he soothed with understanding, cradling me with his warmth.

I chuckle darkly against his chest, "I wish I'd known that back then..."

And then we were quiet for a while as I calmed down, relaxing into his arms. Matt didn't give me a reason to fear him leaving, if anything he seemed more committed to me. _You don't know how comforted I was my that._ Then I pushed him down onto the bed, cuddling into his chest as I pulled the sheets over us.

"You promised you'd stay..." I whisper with a weak voice, even though Matt didn't protest.

"And I am," he answered strongly as he reached over and turned out the light. We were then clothed in darkness, wrapped in each others arm listening to nothing but the sound of our breathing.

And for the first night in a long while, I fall asleep peacefully with no thoughts about how I'd lost Matt, but with thoughts on how everything felt perfectly right.

* * *

That stupid black out blind.

I'd forgotten to pull it down again, so the bright autumn sun that shone through the window woke me once again. I groaned with annoyance and pulled the covers over my head, vaguely regarding the hard warm being beside me. This being chuckled.

"Not a morning person, are you?" Matt chuckled lightly, his fingers running up and down my arm underneath the covers.

I shake my head against Matt's chest, "It's too bright," I complained grumpily.

"Well if you get off me I'll close the blind..." Matt suggested but I shook my head again, clutching onto him tighter.

"No," I groaned, "too comfy..." I shuffle closer to his warm body, burying my face in his chest.

Matt chuckles lightly once more, "I can tell. Not much of a morning person are you?"

I shake my head against his chest as Matt runs his fingers along my arm, relaxing my body even more.

"I think Shay's home..."

I instantly sat up and was alert, "She came in?" I asked.

Matt nods as he looks at me suspiciously and I saw straight through him, seeing that he was insecure by my reaction. I lay my hand on his cheek and smiled softly, "Don't think silly things."

"Then what's wrong with her seeing us?"

"There's nothing wrong with it. I'd just have rather told her about us rather than her jumping to conclusions, that's all," I explain.

Then a huge grin tugs at Matt's lips, lighting up his face in that wonderful way. _God, he was beautiful, _"There's an us?" He questions incredulously and I chuckle.

I nod, "Well yes, but you'll have a lot to put up with. I've been told that I'm an uptight bitch," I tease playfully.

Matt plays along, "Well apparently I'm an arrogant jackass. So I guess we're even."

I nod my head and then Matt leans in, gripping my waist with his strong hands, but I press my finger against his lips. Matt looks at me with a raised brow, "You're going to make me work, aren't you?"

"Of course I am Matthew, haven't you ever heard of courting?" I tease, faking a tone of sophistication in my voice.

Matt narrows his eyes at me, accepting the challenge, "Alright, but you'll never last five minutes."

I jump off the bed and head for the door, turning to him with a wicked smile on my face, "I wouldn't be so sure if I was you."

Matt stretches out on my bed, his hands returning to the back of his head, looking wonderfully pleased with himself. I stared at the view, "I know you Gabriela. You don't care much for courting."

I poke my tongue out at him, "Prove it!" I challenge before slipping through the door to face Shay.

_Oh no doubt that this would be interesting._


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone!**

**A massive apology for the few day wait on this chapter. As you may know, I've just started back at school and it's crazy because I have to decide what subjects to take and the workload will be so much more than I'm used too. I hope you guys can understand, but I promise to update when I can and I promise that I will update at least once a week.**

**As always, thank you all for your kind and touching reviews. They mean everything to me. I thank you all.**

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It's a little longer than usual. **

**See you all soon and I hope you're having a great day!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"So you guys are gonna make a go of it? No more no strings?"

I nodded as I sat on Shay's bed with my legs crossed beside her, as she lay with the covers pulled up to her neck. I'd told her everything. How I found Matt last night when I got home, what he told me about Hallie, how I told him that I was ready to let him in and how I told him everything about my past. Told him everything that made me the person I was today, the past that had shaped me into this girl. When she asked how we were in bed together, I told her that I'd asked him to stay, that I needed him, and he'd stayed. _He'd stayed and accepted me, accepted me for every flaw and every strength. _

"No more no strings... I realised that I can't keep pushing him away because I need him," I tell her honestly as she squeezed my hand.

Shay smiles softly, "It's nice to hear you say it."

I laugh quietly, "I couldn't risk losing him because I was too scared of telling him," I admit because it was the truth. I couldn't keep running away from the past that made me who I was. I couldn't live like that anymore or I'd end up alone, forever fearful of being hurt but having no one who could hurt me.

"He's not the kind of guy who judges others Gab, he often understands more than others. Matt cares for you a lot, the way he looks at you only proves that, he would never hurt you intentionally."

"I know that now."

* * *

**_Casey_**

_"So you two...you know... are together?"_

_"I guess you could say that, yeah..."_

_"She told you everything?"_

_"Everything."_

_"Then you know Matt, you know how much she cares for you and if you care for her as much as I think you do, you won't hurt her."_

_"I couldn't do that to her Kelly, she's it for me."_

_"I can see that and I'm happy for you guys, just hurt her and I'll break your neck."_

"You said you're looking for Detective Dawson, Blondie?" The intimidating woman at the desk called over at me as I stood nervously by the doors of District 21. I wanted to talk to Antonio, Gabby's brother, about her and to introduce myself. I wanted to have a good impression of me and I thought that the only way for me to do that was to make the effort to go to him, but I couldn't deny that I wasn't nervous. The idea of meeting Antonio, who was very protective over Gabby, made me nervous.

"Er, yeah..." I reply to the woman who then reaches over to the phone and presses a few buttons before putting the receiver to her ear. She talks into the phone as she eyes me up and down, before putting it back in the holder.

"He's on his way," the woman says with a surly voice before slipping her glasses back on her nose and picking up a newspaper.

I wasn't sure of what to expect of Antonio, but the moment I spotted a man coming down the stairs I knew he was Gabby's brother. Same colour hair, same eyes, same determined look in their eyes. And if they shared a similar personality, then he was stubborn too.

"Matthew Casey," he says as he approaches, reaching his hand out to mine. _Okay, good start. _I shake his hand, "Thanks for meeting me Detective."

"You want coffee?" Antonio offers and I nod as we walk out the door and across the street to the nearest coffee shop.

_Here goes nothing._

* * *

_**Antonio**_

"Ruzek you dare and I'll kick your ass all the way back to the academy," Erin threatens with narrow eyes as Adam stood a few metres away from her, poised with a paper ball that he was going to attemt the get into the rubbish bin that was behind Erin.

Jay swivels in his chair with a grin on his face, watching as to see what Adam would do. Voight was in the break room getting coffee whilst Olinsky was tucked behind the shelves, kicked back in his chair with his feet propped up, probably sleeping.

"Ah come on Erin, you trust my aim don't you?" Adam asks and Erin rolls her eyes.

"No, I don't. You almost shot me in the ass yesterday Ruzek, when you were aiming for the gangbanger s_ix _feet away from me," Erin stated with some annoyance but mostly humour. Adam began arguing with her whilst Jay and I watched as they argued like school kids.

_"Dawson, there's a Matthew Casey here to see you."_

Well I wasn't expecting that at all.

Erin looked up as I pressed the button my phone, "Okay, I'll be right down."

She raised a brow at me, "Be nice Antonio. He's a good guy."

I tuck my gun into my holster, "I'm always nice Erin."

She rolls her eyes, "I'm serious Antonio and he's serious about Gabby. Don't be a jerk."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Erin."

So we grabbed coffee from the shop across the road and walked around the block, "So Matt what's this about? I know that something's been going on with you and my sister, but she hasn't told me anything."

I knew he was nervous, that much I could tell. From what I'd heard from Erin, things got messy between them before they stopped speaking completely. I thought that they still weren't speaking so I shocked to find Matt coming to see me.

He breathes in deeply, "We were stupid for a while. We didn't get along much when Gabby first moved in and we made a few big mistakes with each other... I was a jerk and she kept pushing me away. But last night she told me everything and... We've come to our senses... She loves you a lot Antonio, you can tell that when she speaks about you, so I wanted to come and meet you properly, to do one thing right the first time."

_She'd told him everything?_

This was the first I'd heard of Gabby ever telling someone about her past that hadn't been there to experience it with her. She hadn't told Ray a thing, even in the year that she spent with him, he knew nothing about her past life. If she'd opened up to Matt after six months, how much did she love him?

From the way Matt spoke about her I could tell that he was in love with Gabby, that much was clear and that I wasn't worried about. It was him ever leaving her after she opened up to him, because that took a lot for her to do.

"I appreciate that Matt I do. I don't care what happened between you and Gabby before, that's none of business and in truth, I'm not sure if I want to know. You must know that her telling you about the past was a big thing for her, she has never done that before, so the only thing that I need to hear from you is that you'll never hurt her."

Matt nods slowly, "Gabby is the one for me Antonio," he says quietly but strongly, "I'll never hurt her."

"Then that's good enough for me," I hold out my hand and he shakes it, "Welcome to the family, Matt."

* * *

_**Dawson**_

"What do you say to me cooking for you? I'm sure I can woo you with my culinary skills."

I laugh as I sat on Matt's bed as he sat in his chair, his hands crossed over his chest, "I think that sounds great."

He raises a brow at me, "You're serious about this courting thing aren't you? Or are you just testing me?"

"The latter," I quip teasingly, mindlessly fiddling with the laces on my work boots.

I look up and see Matt's eyes narrow at me, "You're playing with fire Gabriela."

My eyes snap up at his when my full name rolls off his tongue and I can feel my body tingling, "I'm not worried about getting burned."

"You're just worried that you won't be able to keep your hands off me," Matt states teasingly and the way he was looking at me made me burn with desire, my legs clenching instinctively.

"You're so sure of yourself Matthew Casey..." I stall, trying to make this more about him than myself because he was sure affecting me right now in ways that were definitely going to make me cave to him.

"I'm so sure because I feel it too," he says definitively, with more openness and honesty than I'd expect from him. _But what shouldn't I expect? _No relationship I've had before makes me feel this way, makes me feel so alive and electric and passionate that I could burst with love for him. This was all so new.

I was ready to cave. I wanted to throw myself at him, forgetting courting, I wanted him now. I wanted the feel of his lips on mine, the feel of his hands on my body, the feel of his soft skin underneath my fingers.

But then the alarm went off and we had to rush to duty, _"Truck 81, Squad 3, Battalion 25, Ambulance 61, we have a woman trapped in an elevator..."_

* * *

We arrived at the office blocks and grabbed our gear, heading up to sixth floor up the stairs. We all moved together, the guys carrying all the equipment that they could possibly need. Once on the sixth floor, Matt, Kelly and Chief went to get the information from the manager of the office building.

The door to elevator shaft had been pried open and from a quick glance, the elevator was stuck between the fifth and sixth floor. I heard the woman screeching loudly, sounding as if she was in pain.

Chief nodded and gave me the go to shout down the shaft at the woman, "Hello, ma'am, I'm an EMT. We're gonna get you-"

"GABRIELA?" The voice yelled back and I recognised it.

"Cindy?!" I called back, gaining the attention of the firemen around me. Herrmann pushed past everyone and slid beside me, a look of panic in his eyes, "Cindy, baby, I'm here."

"Chris, the baby! I think I'm in labour!"

Everything seemed to move at lightning pace. The guys got a wire set up in no time as Kelly sent a few of his men to sort out the power system. Chief stood and orchastrated the operation, making sure nothing was faulty or problematic.

"Cindy, sweetie, how far apart are your contractions?" I call down the shaft as Cruz held my jacket so I wouldn't fall down it.

"Gah, I don't know!" Cindy yelled back painfully, her voice high-pitched and desperate.

Herrmann looked at me with fear, "Okay Cindy, when a contractions ends and starts again I need you to tell me okay?"

"OKAY!"

And she did so and I timed it. Two minutes apart.

Chief looked at me for instructions, "She's having the baby now. You need to get me down there."

"What?" Matt said with shock, "It's a fifteen foot drop and you're not trained!"

I shook my head and looked back up at the Chief, "Can you do this?"

Herrmann looked at me with desperation and pleading and I swallowed thickly, "I can do this Chief."

So as Matt and Otis hooked me up to the line I called down to Cindy, "Cindy I'm coming down okay? You just hold on for me."

"Hold on? You tell my kid that!"

Shay passed me the bag and I threw it over my shoulder, "You sure about this?" Shay asked quietly and I nod, "Yeah. Is there a blanket in this bag?"

"You're all set," she replies before stepping out-of-the-way, Herrmann quickly sliding into her place.

"You make sure my wife and baby are okay," he says with a nervous and frightened look, before we heard another screech from Cindy.

I slipped over the edge and Matt and Cruz took over, lowering my slowly down. I dropped into the shaft, the smell dusty and damp, getting closer to the elevator.

"A little more..." I call before my feet touched the elevator, "Okay hold it!"

I remove the square detachable tile from the top of the elevator, revealing Cindy sitting on the floor with her back pressed against the cool metal and her legs spread and her knees up.

They lowered me into the elevator and I unclipped the line. Cindy looked at me with her face flushed and her forehead clammy.

I pulled on gloves and looked at her, "Okay, Cindy, I'm going to examine you. Is that okay?"

She grunted a yes as her eyes squeezed shut.

"This can't be happening..." she breathed breathlessly as I looked up at her.

"Cindy hunny," I said with a strong voice, "This is happening. The baby's coming."

_"Dawson, keep your radio live."_

"On it Chief," I reply and flick the button on my radio to keep it live, "Main, this is 61. We have a women trapped in an elevator in labour. We won't make it to Lakeshore. We'll deliver on site and then transport. Have Lakeshore on stand-by."

Cindy screeched once more and I grabbed the blanket out of the bag, ripping open the carton. Cindy clutched my hand, "Are we going to be okay?"

I looked at her with determination, "We and your baby are going to be fine... Now Cindy, on the next contraction I need you to push for me."

Cindy exhales shakily and leans her head against the cool metal, "Okay. Jesus Christ, I've never been early in my life and look at this."

I laugh almost nervously, "We can do this Cindy. You and me."

I pull off my protective jacket and lay it beside me when the radio crackled, _"Cindy, baby, I'm right here..." _Herrmann cried through the radio.

Cindy sighed, "I know baby, I know..."

Then she screamed once more, "Cindy, I need you to push! Push!"

"Oh god!" She panted through gritted teeth as her eyes clenched closed, "I can't..."

I look up at her, "Cindy, you can. I can see the head okay? One more push and your baby's here. One more."

As she nods another contraction hits and she pushes once more. The baby slips into my hands and I quickly wrap the baby in the blanket, as they start wailing. I laugh happily as I hold the baby in my arms, "You've got a little girl!"

Cindy smiles tiredly but with such happiness and love as she gazed at her child. I placed the baby in her arms and she kissed the baby's head, who's cries had reduced as she pressed against her mother's skin.

Tears stung my eyes when I said into the radio, "Herrmann... did you hear me? You've got a little girl. Congratulations!"

_"...A little girl... Cindy, baby, I'm so proud of you..."_

Cindy gave a small smile, "She's just like you Chris..."

Then the elevator jolted and I felt as we began to rise slowly, the guys obviously having fixed the elevator. Cindy cradled the baby in her arms, her little cries becoming little hiccups of sounds as Cindy murmured quietly, "Hey little one, look at you... So beautiful... Mommy and Daddy love you very much."

The baby seemed to responded, giving a murmur of sound in return.

Then the elevator doors opened and Herrmann rushed in, kneeling beside his wife and child. He put his arm lovingly around Cindy as he gazed with wonder and awe at his first daughter, a river of tears sliding down his cheeks.

I was crying too as I stood and left the elevator to give them a moment alone as a family, bumping into Matt as I walked. I looked up at him as he looked at me with wide eyes and awe, and I felt my heart beat crazily in my chest.

"You were amazing," he murmurs as he rests his hands on my arms, feeling how stiff with shock I was.

I looked back at the Herrmann's who we the picture of family and love and they represented everything I wanted from life. I turned back to Matt, "Cindy did it all."

And then I wrapped my arms around him as Matt's slid around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder, feeling like this was exactly where I belonged in the world.

_Because it was._


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everyone!**

**I want to thank you all for sticking by this story. I know that my updates are frequent lately, but I'm really trying guys I promise. It's just with sixth form the workload is huge and I can't let my grades slide. But I promise that I'll be writing when I can and updating at least once a week!**

**So I hope you guys enjoy this chapter - it's extra long - but I have a sneaky suspicion that you will!**

**Hope you're having a great day!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

**_Casey_**

After visiting Herrmann, Cindy and the newest addition to theirs, and our, family, we headed out to celebrate. They had yet to name their little girl who was a mirror-image to her mother with blonde hair and apparent blue eyes - she'd been sleeping when Herrmann brought her out to us - with the same nose, but Cindy had said that she could see her father in her personality. I guess only time would tell.

The first Herrmann daughter was beautiful and she completely mesmerized everyone as Herrmann carried her out in a bright pink blanket. Herrmann had told us that Cindy was doing well, just extremely tired, and that she asked to see Gabby to thank her. Gabby came back with tears in her eyes as she leaned over Herrmann's arm to run her thumb across the baby's head, with a warm smile on her face.

As I watched her gazing down at the sleeping baby with a humble soft expression gracing her features, I knew then that Gabby was the only person I wanted to share the rest of my life with and that she was the only woman who I wanted to bring children into this world with. She was so natural with Herrmann's daughter, as if she was a mother herself, and the love and warmth and adoration in her eyes could have brought me to my knees.

I was in the love with her. And I would be until the universe collapsed into itself and started all over again. My love for her was timeless and limitless and I hoped that she felt the same too.

So we were at a bar, crowded in the biggest booth in the place waiting as Otis went to get our next round. Gabby and Shay had yet to arrive, saying how girls couldn't just 'throw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and leave' like guys could, and that they'd arrive at 9pm. It was 8:51 and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't counting down the minutes until I saw Gabby.

The thing was, she took my breath away every time I saw her. Whether it be dressed up when we were out or dressed down at work, flustered after a workout or lying in her pyjamas on the sofa, or just as she woke up with crazy hair and a sleepy face, she was beautiful. Gabby was a beautiful person inside and out, if only she believed that.

Otis finally stumbled towards our booth carrying a tray of beers, thankfully successful in not throwing the drinks halfway across the bar. Once we'd each grabbed a beer Chief held a toast, "To the newest addition to the family and to Herrmann and Cindy on the arrival of their first baby girl!"

"To the Herrmann's!" We compromised on cheering, rather than repeating the Chief's words because it would sound awful as we tried to cheer in unison.

Kelly tried to gain my attention with a nudge that was far more forceful than I think he intended it to be. His elbow landed just under my rib cage, causing me to wince, "Jesus Kelly, you trying to break a rib or something?"

He rolls his eyes and grins, "I can see you, checking the door every minute for lovergirl..."

"You'd be doing the same if Erin was coming," I throw back, trying to nip his teasing in the bud. Kelly nods, agreeing with this and says, "Well, you know how I feel about it. Just don't hurt her."

"I'm not going to Kelly."

I focused on Chief telling the story of how Herrmann and Cindy met - Herrmann had spilled a pot of paint on her in a DIY store - to try to distract myself from checking the time every minute. It worked slightly, but I still glanced at the door often hoping that Gabby and Shay had arrived.

By the time 9:19 rolled around they still weren't here and I was getting increasingly anxious to see Gabby. I just wanted her here, by my side because that's where I felt happiest and that's how we belonged. Together.

_You guys still coming? _I text to Gabby, hoping that I didn't sound as desperate as I felt. I wanted her here to prove that I wasn't going anywhere and my feelings for her were real, with however small gestures, but that was a little hard to do when she wasn't here.

My phone buzzed a few seconds later - **Yep. Little late because Gabby's shaving her legs. This proves that she really likes you Matt, she doesn't shave her legs for just anyone you know.**

I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself at what was no doubts Shay's words, but although it sounded strange, this gesture made me happy. _She was shaving her legs for me._ Yeah, now I definitely sound like a weirdo.

Then Mouch, who was sat beside me turned and called, "Well look who finally made it!"

My mind quieted when I set eyes on her, my thoughts halted by the beauty that was Gabriela Dawson. She was dressed in a plain black jumpsuit that elegantly highlighted her curves, with black heels and a black purse in her hand. The dark clothing only brought my eyes to her flawless mocha skin on her arms and neck that were bare, except for a silver heart necklace that lay over the material of her jumpsuit. Her hair was curly as it framed her smiling face, resting on her shoulders swaying slightly as she walked towards us. Her smile was painted a deep red, accentuating her perfect lips and leaving me agonizing their touch against my skin.

_She was outrageously beautiful and she stunned me to silence. _

"Sorry, it takes time to look this good!" Shay teases as she gives Mouch as one-armed hug, looking as gorgeous as she always does. I'd heard that Kendra may be coming tonight and I guess Shay was planning on putting on a show for her. _Good for Shay,_ I thought.

Shay and Gabby greeted everyone before Gabby smiled at me and shuffled in to sit in between Mouch and I. I stretched my arm out on the back of the booth behind her, my fingers just grazing her shoulder. She looked up at me with those big brown doe eyes and my heart melted. God I wanted her, needed her, but she was making me work for it. And she was clearly enjoying it, because the twinkle in her eye told me that she knew that she'd stunned me speechless.

"Hey," she says softly with that velvety smooth voice of hers.

"Hey," I reply, forcing my voice to sound as strong as it could right now. She smelled of cinnamon, she'd clearly used her favourite shower gel, "You look beautiful."

Gabby looks away bashfully, her eyelids hooding her eyes, "Thank you..." she said appreciatively and I swear she moved closer to me. With my arm resting on the back of the booth Gabby seemed to rest into my side and I'm sure from the outside we would've looked like any other couple crazy about each other.

That brought me more comfort than I thought it would.

As she sipped her drink given to her by Kelly, my fingers were running back and forth her bare shoulder without me realising it. "Matt," she hummed quietly, catching my attention but no one elses.

I look away from Otis talking and down at Gabby, "Hmm?"

"You're hand. It's tickling."

I then realise what I've been doing and grin, leaning closer to her ear, "That's not tickling you Gabby, it's_ teasing_ you."

"Dinner, tomorrow," she stated.

"I haven't forgotten. Or do you care to admit defeat?"

I notice her swallowing thickly and her eyes widen with lust before she covers it with a scoff, "Never in your life."

"Challenge accepted."

* * *

"To Gabriela! For some damn good work today and for helping to deliver the newest addition to our family!" Mills announced with a glass of beer in his hands, some of the liquid spilling onto his hand.

"To Gabriela!" We cheered to her as she smiled on, a flush of pink gorgeously emphasizing her cheeks.

Then Shay whisked her off to the dance floor, a night never complete without them drunkenly dancing at the bar. I tried to keep my glances at them to a minimum, not wanting to amuse Gabby because I couldn't stop looking at the way she moved with Shay. Gabby held her drink in one hand whilst the other was raised, moving to the same rhythm that her body was swaying at. Shay moved beside her, their hips moving in sync.

But my plan wasn't working well because my eyes seemed fixed on Gabby. The way her hips rocked, the way her arms swayed, the way her hair rolled off her shoulders cascading down her back, the way her eyes closed and the way her lips pulled into a smile at something Shay said. I was transfixed with her and I felt as if I was on fire, my need for her growing.

When our eyes finally met across the bar, I saw them flicker with amusement, arrogance and desire. Gabby knew damn well what she was doing, she was purposely trying to get me to give in to her challenge, and she was enjoying taunting me greatly.

But two could play at that game I thought, deciding on giving her a taste of her our medicine. I smiled back at Gabby before turning away, waiting for Shay to be whisked away by Kendra before I made my move.

"Jeez Mills, took your time didn't you!" Cruz mocks when Mills finally returns to our booth with his round, after leaving twenty minutes before.

Kelly swatted Cruz's chest, "Didn't you see the brunette he was chatting up?"

Cruz appeared confused and turned to Mills to point this brunette out, who was smiling victoriously. He passed out the beers and sipped at the fresh cold beer slowly, not wanting to get too drunk so that I'd forget most of tonight. I didn't want to forget a thing.

Then I spotted Kendra moving through the crowd towards Shay and Gabby. When she reached them, they stopped their movements and hugged her, throwing wild arms around Kendra'a shoulders. They waited with her at the bar whilst Kendra got a drink before they danced together for a while, talking as they moved around each other. But then Shay and Kendra got distracted by each other and moved through the crowd alone, disappearing to dance else where.

i made the excuse of going to bathroom so that no one would question me and I made my way towards Gabby, who was leaning against the bar as she waited for her next drink. She hadn't noticed me coming as she wasn't looking my way, so when my hand encircled her waist, she jumped slightly.

Gabby turned, pressing herself further into my chest, "Jesus Matt, you scared me!"

I smiled at her shocked expression, which was adorable, "I'm sorry..."

She rolled her eyes as she lifted her drink from the bar, now turning to fully face me with our chests touching, "Yep, sounds like you mean it," she teases lightly.

I could tell that she was acutely aware of what she was doing and enjoying it according to the twinkle in her eye, and I was going to have a lot of fun wiping the smirk off her face. I take Gabby's hand a pull her away from the bar, leading her to the centre of the bar where people were dancing. I made sure that no one we knew could see us and surrounded us by strangers, who didn't take a second glance at us.

"Matt, what are you-?" Gabby questions as I pull her close, my hands coming to rest on her lower back and waist. She looks up at me with bewilderment but the hand that wasn't cupping her drink, came up to rest on my chest.

"Don't you remember this?" I murmur quietly with a low voice, leaning down to whisper in her ear. I hear Gabby's breath hitch and I smile.

"I do," she stammers shakily as our bodies begin to move together to the rhythm of the music playing, "But I'm also aware of what you're doing and I'm sticking to my guns. You're cooking for me tomorrow," Gabby says forcing a determination and strength into her voice that her body didn't have, as it was weak in my arms.

"And I plan to, I don't want to worm out of it," I reply quickly, my voice loud enough for her to hear but no one else.

Gabby's body soon relaxed and we moved in sync to the loud music that was playing, her hair swaying behind her as she swayed her hips. She kept trying to avoid my eyes instead choosing to focus on my chest, knowing that I could see whatever she was feeling in her eyes.

"Are you sure your not going to give in? I know you want to," I whisper into her ear, watching as she closes her eyes at my words.

"God you're so full of yourself," Gabby hums as I notice that my fingers were moving back and forth slightly on her back.

"Maybe so, but I can't keep my hands off you and I don't want to wait a second longer to be with you Gabby," I tell her honestly, hoping that if I told her the truth she'd believe that I was real about this.

After what seems like hours of her holding her breath, Gabby finally lets out a shaky exhale of air that blew against my chest, "Oh Matt..." she mumbles and I thought she was about to cave, "...That's cute, but you must know that I don't lose."

I sigh but end up smirking at her determination and fierce stubbornness that I hated to admit that I fell in love with, and chuckled, "So damn stubborn..."

I spotted Shay and Kendra heading our way so I mumbled to Gabby that they were coming and kissed her warm forehead, "I'll see you later," I husk lowly and disappear into the crowd before Gabby could reply, hoping that this would keep her on her toes.

It did, because when I returned to the booth now filled with very drunk 51 firefighters I felt Gabby's gaze on me and when I turned, there she was gawking back at me. I grin and sit down beside Kelly, losing sight of her for a while.

_So damn stubborn._

* * *

**_Gabby_**

No matter how much I tried I couldn't keep my eyes off Matt. Without even being aware of it I found myself looking at him or looking for him in the booth with the guys. It was instinct, automatic, and I guess I couldn't say that the view was bad. He was dressed in a simple dark blue t-shirt and jeans, but I'd never wanted him more in my entire life and neither had I seen anyone more beautiful. The star-stopper smile that made me weak and dizzy, the brightest blue eyes, the fuzzy blonde hair that my hands couldn't get enough of. I loved how his pale skin flushed pink in the strangest of places, like the back of his neck or his chest, and of course the blush of his cheeks. I guess that maybe he wouldn't appreciate being called beautiful, but he was.

He was to me.

Matt was the light to my dark, the happiness in the darkest of times and the person I wanted by my side when times were great. I'd come to accept that there would be good and bad in my life and I couldn't avoid either, and the only person I wanted to be beside was sat on the other side of the bar.

"Get your tongue back in your mouth Gabby," Shay giggled with a girliness that didn't at all suit her, but came out nevertheless when she'd drunk more than four glasses of vodka and coke.

I snap my head back to her and Kendra trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, but I was clearly failing, even in Shay's hazy drunk eyes, "What?"

"Don't play dumb," Shay states, poking my nose and empathizing every word with a slow tone, "You're drooling over my blonde male friend like a dog over a bone..."

I wasn't sure whether Kendra laughed at Shay's analysis of me or over how drunk she was, but I could tell that she agreed with Shay, "And I'm pretty sure he knows that you're looking at him too Gabby," Kendra adds, pushing Shay back down into the stool before she broke her ankle by dancing.

"That's what I'm afraid of," I mutter bitterly but quietly, before taking a long gulp of my drink.

I was listening to Shay's drunken tales about something or other - she wasn't making much sense and I couldn't keep up with her - when a dark haired guy approached, smiling and clearly ogling me.

"Hey, you look good," _jeez, doesn't anyone introduce themselves anymore?_

I glanced at Shay awkwardly before returning my gaze back at him, "Um, thank you..." But my eyes quickly darted to Matt, who wasn't looking this way, and I knew then what I had to do.

"You wanna go dance somewhere quiet?" The black-haired guy said and I bit my lip, "Sorry, I'm taken," I blurt out confidently, my feet itching to move across the bar.

The guy nods, "Fair enough," and disappears as quickly as he appeared.

I set my drink on the bar and turned to face Kendra and Shay, who were both beaming at me with astonishment. Then Shay must have saw the look on my face and realized what I was building myself up to do.

"How do I look?" I state nervously, trying to brush my fingers through my curls to pat them down a little.

Shay grinned widely and patted my hand, "Hun, if you were straight we'd be taking you home for a threesome."

Kendra shakes her head with a smile pulling at her lips and shoos me into the crowd, "Go! Get your man."

Once my feet were moving they wouldn't stop, but I didn't think I wanted too. I needed him. I needed the feel of his hands on my body, of our fingers intertwined, of his lips on mine. I needed that rush of passion and lust and love to explode in my body when we touched. He was like my oxygen and I'd come to understand that I wasn't whole without him.

I shuffled past and swerved around the crowd and with every step that I was closer to Matt, but heart seemed to race more. Thumping frantically in my chest because it knew what awaited, yet the feeling of his lips on mine felt so distant that I couldn't recreate with any accuracy, the way it made me feel.

The walk felt so short yet so long, because I couldn't seem to get to him quick enough. Once my mind was made up, there wasn't a force that could have brought me closer to him faster. He was my sun and I was the earth that was gravitationally bound to be drawn to him.

Otis must have noticed me coming because somewhere in my mind I registered him cheering, "There she is!" but I couldn't focus on him for long, because then Matt turned and saw me.

I walked fiercely into his arms, my eyes fixed on his as my hands clutched at his cheeks pulling him towards me, pushing my chest against his as I pressed my lips against Matt's. My body instantly ignited with burning flames of undying passion and want and need, desperate for more of him. I felt my skin tingle and the feel of his lips against mine was a comfort in no way that I could explain.

It took a moment for Matt to react to me, because momentarily he was stunned by my actions because I'd fought off my desire for him all night. But like he'd said earlier, I couldn't wait a second longer anymore. I knew what I wanted and it was Matt.

Matt's hand encircled my waist, pulling my body tightly against his as the other entangled itself within my hair, grasping the locks within his grip. His lips moved against mine fiercely and I felt that he wanted me just as much as I wanted him with this kiss. Matt had shown me that wasn't going anywhere and it was time to let my defences down.

My mind silenced. I heard nothing and thought anything, the only thing that was on my mind was Matt. He made everything go away, made everything right and he filled my mind with crazy but adoring feelings and images of us together now and in the future.

Centuries could have gone by before my lips left his, breathless by our kiss. Our foreheads leaned against each others and I could hear his shallow breathes too, but when I opened my eyes my brain decided to work again, and I realized that we were surrounded by the guys.

They must have been hollering and cheering but I heard none of it, the amused looks on their faces giving it away. We moved away from each other slightly, but I kept a hand on Matt's chest and his hand on tightened on my waist.

"Well who knew that Dawson had it in her to do that!" Cruz laughed loudly and I felt the blush burn my cheeks.

The guys laughed and made some sort of toast to this, but my attention returned to Matt, who smiled blissfully up at me, "I thought you don't lose."

I rolled my eyes, "I admit it, you're just too damn irresistable," I mutter before our lips met again, this time the kiss a little more tame, but definitely filled with the same amount of crazy love.

I guess I didn't think I'd ever have the guts to do something like this, but I was so damn glad that I did.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey everyone!**

**I want to thank you all for all you're amazing reviews and for sticking by me with this story! I know that my updates aren't as frequent as they used to be, but I promise that I'm trying. I just don't want to rush chapters because they won't be as beneficial to you as readers. I hope you guys can understand, you're all great!**

**Thank you all!**

**And this is it guys, last week before Season 3 returns! I can't wait!**

**I hope you enjoy this update!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

This is definitely not my room. The sheets smell different, the bed feels different and this pillow is certainly harder and warmer than what I'm used to. In fact, this pillow was _breathing._

I shot up instantly, the air cold against my skin, eyes wide as they searched the unrecognisable room. It was clearly a motel with simple coloured walls and plain furniture, enough to make the occupants comfortable. I looked down and realised that I was naked, the cream sheets bunched at my stomach. I quickly pulled them up against my chest and heard a chuckle as I did so. _A chuckle I recognised._

Turning my head I saw Matt lying beside me, his chest bare as the sheets reached his waist. His one hand was tucked behind his head as the other was spread out behind me. Matt's face was calm and relaxed as he grinned at me, his bright blue eyes twinkling and his usually pale cheeks flushed pink.

Then it all came flooding back to me.

_Wow._

"There we are..." Matt murmurs with a smile once realization dawns on my face and my body slowly relaxes. A nervous smile pulls at my lips as his fingers run along the bottom of my back, causing my eyes to flutter closed at Matt's gentle touch.

I lay back down beside him, my bare skin touching his own, the sheets still pulled to my chest. I look up at Matt with wonder and awe, images of last night floating blissfully through my calm mind. _Last night was the best night of my life._

"I didn't recognise the room," I explain quietly, fearing that anything louder than a gentle tone would ruin this morning. But I doubted that much could ruin it. I was too happy to allow anything to dampen my mood.

The same chuckle escapes his peaceful lips, "I guessed as much, but I'm entirely glad that you remembered..." Matt smiles, hinting at last night.

A blush burns my cheeks, "How could I forget?... but why are we not home?"

"I couldn't trust you to be quiet," Matt teases which makes me blush further before adding, "And I wanted you all to myself." These words were honest and truthful, and they caused my heart to swell with comfort and more elation that I'd felt before.

Last night Matt and I stumbled into the room desperate to feel each other, desperate for our bodies to meet in a way they previously had not before. Last night wasn't sex, it was so much more. Last night was making love. I'd never experienced such an animalistic and wild desire for someone, but yet at the same time have the slow and sensual passionate love-making that we shared. I couldn't explain it, but maybe that was the beauty of it all.

_Matt pushes the door closed and quickly pushes my body up against it, wasting no time to press his lips desirably against my awaiting ones. My hands pulled his body close, quick to remove his jacket before clutching at the back of his neck, desperate to keep him near. Matt's hands encircle my waist, pinning me against the door but I didn't care. It wasn't as if I was going anywhere. Where would I go? This was where I belonged. _

_With Matt._

_I needed to feel that sweet soft pale skin under my fingertips, to see how it flushed pink and to see how we contrasted so much, but yet fit so perfectly together. My hands slide down his back, our lips still occupied with nothing but each other's, curling my fingers under his shirt before pulling it over his head. It was discarded somewhere. My lips search for his once more after being parted, however brief that was, but Matt had other ideas. His were trailing wet kisses down my neck and I threw my head back against the door, suddenly breathless, if I wasn't before._

_He was cherishing every part of me, desperate to touch every inch of my body. Appreciating me for me with his lips, painting my skin with kisses that made my hairs stand on end and made my toes curl. I clutched at his bare skin, feeling his heart thumb forcefully in his chest, relishing in its beat. Matt's skin was delightfully warm against my fingers and I couldn't seem to get enough of it. _

_My mind was blown with how desperate we were for each other, but yet we were still mindful to commit every inch of each other's bodies to memory, not wanting to rush what was, in theory, our first time._

_His lips find that spot just behind my ear and I murmur, "Matt..." wishfully, nothing but the feel of his skin, the sound of our breathing, the taste of lips and the smell of him filling my senses. Matt quickly kicks off his shoes and slides them away before I do the same, thankful to get the wretched heels off my feet. _

_Matt guides me to the bed, holding my body close as his lips tease mine with intimate and slow kisses. I move to sit down on the edge but he pulls me close, spinning me so my back pressed against his chest. I rest my head on his shoulder as Matt's hands run up my thighs, my hips and my waist slowly, my breath hitching in my throat. His hands move to my back to the zipper of my jumpsuit, pulling the zipper down slowly, exposing my skin to him. _

_I'd never felt so aroused in my entire life._

_I pull the material down past my hips before it falls to the floor and I step out of it. I look behind me, watching as Matt looked at me with pure adoration and desire, and turned to face him. I press my lips against his before mumbling against them, "It's not fair that you're still half-dressed..." and feeling my heart flutter as he smiled. _

_"Looks like your fixing that," he comments as my hands unbuckle his belt and soon we were both standing there in our underwear. _

_Matt's hands grasp my hips softly, "You're so beautiful..."_

_I feel my cheeks flush, "You don't need to try to make me swoon. I'm yours, forever... I hope you know that you're stuck with me now."_

_That smile graces his beautiful face once more, the smile that made my heart flutter, my knees weak and if needed, could definitely win him any argument. But I'd never let him know this or I'd never win an argument with him again._

_He's kissing me again, slow and deliberate kisses as he guides my body onto the bed, laying me down as he lies above me, careful to distribute his weight evenly. But I pull him as close as I can, I need to feel him, every inch of him. _

_We could have kissed for years and I wouldn't have cared nor noticed, but then Matt's hands began wandering and that feeling arose in my stomach and didn't disappear. His hands palmed my breasts over the material of my bra and my back arched. I would have been embarrassed if I weren't so drowned in pleasure, because his hands weren't even on my skin but yet I was reacting so wildly to his touch. As Matt kissed my skin just above my right breast I could tell that he was smiling, before he trailed kisses along my braline, before repeating the action with his tongue. _

_He unclipped my bra - which undid from the front - and threw the material to the floor. I was surprised at the insecurity I felt because I'd never felt like this with Matt before. But that was when things were different, that was when it was just sex. But now it was so much more and I was afraid that I wouldn't be enough. _

_I watch as he shakes his head a little above me, "I don't want you to feel insecure. I want you... I love you Gabby and you're all I want."_

_These words assured me more than I was expecting so I reached up and whispered in his ear, "Well, you best get to work Lieutenant..."_

_Never one to disappoint or rebuke at a challenge, I heard Matt let out a breath of air as I lay back down against the fresh sheets, watching him with wonder of what he would do. My heart beat rapidly in my chest but I wasn't eager to giving him the satisfaction of driving me wild after barely touching me. But this was Matt and he knew me better than I knew myself, so he knew exactly what he was doing to me and he was loving it._

_Soft barely there kisses grazed my burning skin as Matt moved slowly across my collar bones and down my sternum, causing my entire body to come to life by his mesmerizing touch. I grasped at the ends of his hair with my fingers, anything to just feel him, awed by how this felt so familiar yet so different and new. We'd never gone this slow before, always too desperate to feel each other, pulling off clothes quicker than lightning and never taking much time to look after the minor details. Yet they were what mattered the most._

_My back arched as Matt's delicate touch clasped over my breasts, a mewling sound escaping my lips as he massaged my breasts in his strong but soft hands, his thumbs teasingly grazing my nipples. They instantly hardened at his touch, but I couldn't focus on all that much other than the shockwaves of delight cascading through my body. _

_I grasped at his shoulders as my body shudders, desperate for more from him. I tucked a leg around his needing to feel Matt's body close as his movements slowed on my breasts, his lips coming down to kiss my breasts and then my hard peaks. I moan once more, unable to control myself._

_Matt reaches up to kiss my lips and I clutch at his cheeks needfully, pulling him close. I feel him smile against my lips before trying to pull away and I whimper, wanting nothing more than his lips against mine for the rest of eternity. "Ssh," he soothes quietly, easing me back down into the bed. I wasn't sure why I was so emotional, but I guess it had something to do with me being unconditionally in love with him and wanting nothing more than Matt in my life. _

_But then his kisses on my stomach bring my mind straight back to Matt and what was happening, and I curl my hand into one of his, concluding that this was as close as I could be right now. Because I wanted him to be as close as humanly possible._

_Deep meaningful kisses on my stomach, hips, my lower stomach, along my panty line. My breath hitched loudly and Matt definitely noticed. Hooking his fingers around the lace he pulled them down my quaking legs and off my feet, leaving me completely bare to him. Lips cherished every inch of my legs, moving slowly north as I watched with my head resting against a pillow. _

_God he was so beautiful. His eyes were closed as he kissed my skin, the muscles of his arms, shoulders and back rippling as he moved, the love for me evident on his face. I'd never felt so loved. _

_And then suddenly his lips are there, kissing my sweet spot. My back arches once more, a breathy moan echoing through the room as his his tongue works me with a finger. My hands clutch his tightly, my nails digging into his skin, my body writhing with undeniable pleasure. Then another finger and oh god, he was watching me as my mouth was dropped open like a bewildered fish. _

_"Oh god, Matt, baby...Oh," I yelp completely unsexily as an orgasm rips through me, my body shaking in a way it had not before, my body feeling all kinds of pleasure that I'd never come close to in my life. By the time Matt had reached up and started kissing my neck soothingly, my eyes finally open but my chest is still rising and falling quickly, my breaths short and quick. _

_My hands were all over his body, pulling him so close that I could feel his heart drumming in his chest. I kiss him intensely, our tongues mingling together, exploring each other. I run my hand down his hot back and scamper his boxers off his body, allowing him to worm out of them and kick the material away. I could feel his hardness press against my hip and my stomach fluttered once more, my teeth instinctively biting down gently on his lip. Combined with my hands grazing his hardness, Matt moaned into my mouth. _

_"I need you now, please..." he murmured desperately against my lips and I thought for a second that I'd feel wounded that he didn't want me to touch him like he'd touched me. But I saw in his hazy blue eyes that he was telling the truth, his eyes full with need and a dire longing. _

_I nod my head a few times, comforting him with my lips once more. His hands found mine as he shifted above me, our fingers intertwining and grasping each other tightly as he entered me. I cried out at the feel of him inside me as Matt buried his face in my neck. _

_He pinned our hands to the sides with my elbows bent so that Matt had leverage to thrust inside of me, each thrust more pleasurable than the last. I was seeing stars, blinded and encased by a bubble of mind-blowing bliss and outstanding pleasure. Our hands never left each other as we made love, grasping on to the other for dear life because in truth, we needed each other to live any sort of meaningful life. _

_I was the first to let go, my body shaking against his once more, waves of unbeatable gratification and joy drowning my body, my loud cries and moans filling the room and our ears. Then moments later Matt came too, his body limping against mine as he buried his face in my neck once more, his quick breaths blowing against my skin. _

_Our hands moved to enclose the other, cuddled together in a hot mess of love, adoration, pleasure and an undying need for each other. Matt pulled the sheets around us as I snuggled into his side grasping at his chest and Matt's arms wrapped around me, holding me close._

_"I love you," I whisper against his skin, nothing but our breaths filling the room. Matt kisses my head, "I love you Gabby," he answers with a voice filled with truth and I smiled. _

_Our love was messy and confusing, but it was love of the real kind, honest and true and irrevocable and unconditional, and that was all that mattered._

I smiled as last night came back to me, "I meant what I said... you're stuck with me now."

Matt chuckles with a happiness and radiancy I'd never seen within him before, "As much as you're a pain in my ass, I wouldn't have it any other way."

I swat his chest with fake insult, "I wasn't such a pain in your ass last night."

"No," he smirks wickedly, "Last night you were putty in my hands," he teases lightly as Matt turns on his side, his palm resting on my bare stomach. My eyes flutter closed at his touch.

"Don't act so smug," I mutter hastily, pulling his face to mine and pressing my lips needfully against his.

I pull away and look up at him with earnest, needing to let him know this one thing, "I'm glad I stopped running. I'm glad that every single thing that happened between us happened, because it made me realise that I couldn't run away from the people who I loved any longer... And most of all I'm thankful and eternally glad that I met you, Matthew Casey, even if you are an arrogant jackass."

The smile that was drawn on his face was a work of art and could have stopped my heart, in fact I guess it almost did, "I guess I can live with that."


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey guys!**

**Massive apologies for being unable to update sooner, but I really hope you enjoyed the last chapter and will enjoy this one too! Thank you for all your amazing reviews, they all mean so much more than you probably know! Thank you!**

**Also, two days until the premiere! I literally can't wait! **

**Thanks for sticking with me!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

_**Gabby**_

"I need more coffee..." Matt grumbled as we rode in the elevator of our building, his arm wrapped around my waist as I rested my head against his chest, almost comfortable enough to fall asleep right there.

I laughed quietly, "I really am sorry for dropping it," I apologised once more after dropping his cup a few moments ago as we climbed out of Matt's truck. We'd apparently walked from the bar to the motel a few blocks away and Matt left his truck outside the bar where we'd picked it up about twenty minutes ago to come home.

Matt kissed my head, "I'm sure you can find a way to make it up to me," he says lowly teasing me and I reach up and press a kiss to his smiling lips. _I'd never get tired of this._ I felt his warm hands holding mine tightly and I knew that there was nowhere I'd rather be or nothing I'd rather experience than this.

"I don't know what you mean Lieutenant," I answer with a wink before slipping out of the now open elevator doors, momentarily stunning Matt until I hear his feet move towards me, wrapping his hands around my waist as I let out a squeal. He starts tickling my sides and I try to squirm out of his grasp, as he knew how much tickling my sides made me squeal.

I swing open the door still laughing and jump away from him, swatting his chest and glaring at him. I was about to jump into a tirade about him tickling me before Matt silences me with a kiss.

"Oh look at those lovebirds," a mocking voice said from the other side of the living room and I spin around quickly, seeing Kelly and Erin embraced on the sofa watching us with amused faces.

I was hoping that no one would be home but I realised that it was highly unlikely as I was staring at them. Kelly raises his mug to his grinning lips, "Looks like you guys had a good night," he teases.

Matt laughs as he turns to shut the door and I feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment. I walk to the armchair and sit on the arm, "I thought you were working?" I ask Erin, trying to ignore Kelly's grinning face.

Erin nods, "I was but we got off early. I went to the bar, but you guys were already gone," she says suggestively and I couldn't have felt more embarrassed if I tried. Then again Shay wasn't here, so I guessed that this was light treatment compared to what we'd get if she was here.

"Oh okay," I mumble, "Did you have a good night?" I ask innocently, but Kelly laughs out loudly.

"We did but probably not as good as your night!" He answers smartly and Matt swats him on the upside of his head. Kelly glares at him before launching off the sofa and tackling Matt. They began wrestling on the floor and Erin and I looked on with indifference, and I was thankful for the distraction.

"I'm gonna go shower, I'm not fond of the 'walk of shame' and I don't want Shay teasing me when she gets back..." I explain to Erin as I head for the stairs. I hear Matt grunt loudly followed by Kelly groaning and I throw a "Boys don't break anything," in their direction before I'm upstairs.

I strip down, throwing my jumpsuit in the laundry basket and stepping underneath the hot spray of the shower. I relax at the water on my skin, easing the tension from my muscles and soothing my achy body from last nights and this mornings...urm...activites. I'm filled with the memory of Matt's lips and hands on my skin, the way I felt when he touched me with the most sweetest and gentle touch. It was like Matt was writing love on my skin and in truth, he was. I just hoped that through my actions, he knew how much I loved him too.

When I escape the steamy bathroom dressed in pyjama pants and one of Matt's shirts, I hear the voices of Erin, Kelly and Matt talking in gentle tones.

"She's happy," Erin states, "I've never seen her like this, this carefree and weightless, it's because of you, Matt."

"Gabby's stronger than you give her credit for, it's not just me, she_ wants_ to be happy..." Matt answers and I could hear the smile in voice.

"Whatever the reason," Kelly says, "I'm glad she's got you."

"And you don't give yourselves enough credit either, she wouldn't be the person she is without you guys," I smile at his words, clutching his shirt in my hands. Matt was always the one comforting others, ensuring that they saw the best of themselves, saw the truth for what it was. It was one of many of his great qualities.

"Nah, she's the person she always wanted to be," Kelly replies.

* * *

"There she is! Dawson, get your ass over here, just don't kiss me!" Cruz jokes when I walk into the breakroom, most of the guys and Shay already sat in their usual spot. My face burns but I roll my eyes and sit beside Cruz at the table replying with, "You don't have to worry about me Cruz."

"Yeah," Shay grins as she throws her arm around my shoulders, "She's a taken girl now buddy."

Otis looks up from his bowl of cereal, "Well I would have thought so after last night."

Matt sat at the head of the table with Herrmann and Cruz either side of him, smirking as he pretended to read the paper. I glared at him hoping that he'd feel my eyes burning a hole through his head.

"Well my mama always says that if you want something you have to grab it with both hands..." Cruz laughs and I bury my head in Shay's shoulder as they all laugh at my expense.

"It's not that big of a deal guys!" I exclaim with a groan.

"It does!" Herrmann yelps, "I owe Severide 20 bucks!"

Matt asks with confusion, "Why?"

"We bet on who'd make the first move. Turns out you're not as excentric as Dawson here, Casey."

This time I could join in with the guys laughter and I looked up to see Matt's cheeks burn red. I poke my tongue out at him and he narrows his eyes, and I could see that he'd get me back for this. I just smiled sweetly at him and turned away, allowing the guys to continue ribbing him as I leaned into Shay.

"I'm taking it that you and Kendra had a good night?" I murmur against her arm as I watched her text Kendra back with a big smile on her face and a glint of happiness in her eye.

She rests her head against mine, allowing her phone to drop carelessly onto the table once she'd finished texting, "We had the best night yes." You didn't have to be her bestfriend to hear the joy in her voice and I couldn't have been more assured that Shay was happy.

"Oh look at you all lit up like a Christmas tree," I smile quietly so the guys wouldn't hear, though I doubt they would because now Kelly had arrived he was really enjoying ribbing Matt with the guys.

Shay chuckles, "I could say the same for you... I'm really glad that you two came to your senses, would have a shame to waste all that great sex."

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" I exclaim with embarrassment as I poke her stomach causing Shay to swat my arm away. She couldn't reply before the alarm sounded.

_"Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, single car accident on 18th..."_

* * *

"Whoa! Gabby!" Matt yelps as I feel the cool blade press into the skin of my neck, warm blood oozing out onto my skin.

We'd arrived at the scene of the car accident. One car, two victims. The male passenger was out cold but breathing well, while the driver was alert and responsive, but definitely high off something. I told Shay to take the passenger and I took the driver, who seemed high but relatively calm as Herrmann and I helped him from the car, until he started yelling. He yelled something about 'not going back to jail' before he grabbed me, spun me so my back pressed into his chest as he held a knife to my throat. A knife that came out of nowhere.

My hands flew up to grasp his arm and I tried to pull him off me, but that only made him hold me tighter, thrusting the knife right against my skin. Chief spoke quietly as he told everyone to back off and to not move so they wouldn't freak him out, the crowd of firefighters not appearing to move an inch. Matt, who had been working a few metres away from where we'd pulled the guy from his car, stood closer now, but still metres away. Kelly stood to his left, a look of fear on his face, as Shay watched from over the car, the unconscious passenger still in his seat.

"Hey man, just calm down a second okay? We're not the cops..." Matt talks with his hands spread out and up, his eyes the object of desperation. He didn't say the words, but he was telling me to stay calm, to not make any sudden movements, to let him do the talking. I understood and stopped struggling against the guy, shivering at the feel of the blade against my neck.

"I'm not going back to jail! I didn't do anything wrong!" The guy screeches at Matt, his loud shrilling voice hurting my ears. I flinched and clenched my teeth, feeling as the blade cut my neck once more.

Matt nods profusely, "I know... What can I call you? What's your name?"

"I'm not giving you my name!"

"Okay, I'll call you Tony. Tony-"

"It's Jimmy..."

Matt nods once more, taking the smallest step closer to us. My hands tightened around Jimmy's arm, my nails digging into his skin. "Okay Jimmy, I'm not a cop. I don't want you to go back to jail. But you were in an accident and you've got to let her go so she can make sure that you're okay."

"No!" Jimmy yells frantically back at Matt, "The moment you take me to hospital the cops will be there!"

Matt's face twisted with fear and desperation, "Please Jimmy, let her go. Look at her, her name is Gabby and she's scared... Please, put the knife down..." he begs and my breath hitches when Jimmy's grip tightens.

"Jimmy! Please...don't hurt her..."

The moment I feel his grip slacken I push my way out of his arms and into Matt's, who pulls me away from Jimmy as the cops, who'd just arrived, take him down. I shake against Matt but I'm too shocked to cry, feeling nothing but the warm blood seep into my grey shirt. Matt holds one hand on my back and the other on my head, holding me as tight as he could to his chest.

"I love you," I say against him, "I love you and if I die tomorrow I need you know that I love you."

I feel his body relax as Matt presses a kiss to my head, "I do... Now let's get Shay to clean you up, before that shirt stains."

Even against my will a laugh bubbles from my lips as I bury myself into his side, understanding that I couldn't let this get to me. Sometimes bad things happen, usually good things happen. It's life. I can accept that.

Because throughout it all, I know that Matt's gonna be by my side.


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone! **

**First of all, I would like to sincerely apologise for such the delay on this chapter. School is really crazy right now and I'm struggling to find a moment to myself, let alone write. But I promise you that I'm trying. I would like to thank you all for sticking by me and this story, and I hope you continue to enjoy reading as I do writing.**

**Secondly, Chicago Fire is back! And unfortunately, we lost Shay. A beloved character. I knew it was coming, but to watch it... it just hurt. The first and second episodes were amazing! I loved every single of moment of them. The scenes of Kelly are brilliant and the Dawsey scenes, well just gah! The proposal last night was unreal. And the celebration afterwards;) ohmygosh hot! And I really loved the morning scene where they talked on the bed. It's pretty clear how much they love each other!**

**I hope you guys are enjoying the new season too!**

**But even though we lost Shay on the show, I can't bare to ever lose her in my stories. So I will not be losing Shay in this story. I am thinking to do a story based on Shay's death and the aftermath, but that will be a completely different story. However, whenever I picture my stories, I picture Shay in them. So unless my stories are directly related to Shay's death, I will not be writing her out of any of them.**

**Thank you guys, for everything!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

"We have to get pizza tonight girl, I would kill for a pepperoni and sausage pizza right now," Shay says with the utmost of seriousness as we pull into 51 after being out on a call. Truck, Squad and Ambo had all been called out to an apartment block with four tenants in four separate apartments. Shay and I had left the scene pretty early, taking a seriously injured man to Lakeshore, but when we pulled up at the station Truck and Squad and the Chief's car were all parked in their usual spaces.

We jump out of the ambo and I come around to Shay's side, "Then we'll get pizza. Erin's a sucker for pizza too," I comment as we walk into the breakroom. Shay, Erin and I were having a 'girls night' at our place tonight while Matt and Kelly went to Otis' poker night with the guys.

Shay grins, "It's a done deal then."

The breakroom was quiet as we entered it, the guys sitting there but not really talking. The tv was on pretty loud but no one seemed to move to turn it down. Mills stood at the kitchen with half of his mind focused on the food and the other half focused on something else. Mouch and Otis sat on the couch staring at the tv but not really watching it. Herrmann, Cruz and Kelly sat on the table with Capp and Clarke with distant or sad looks in their eyes. Kelly looked especially worried. Matt was missing.

Something happened at our last call.

"What happened?" Shay asks with a tentative voice with her hands stuffed in her pockets, scanning the room with her blue eyes. A pit of dread filled my stomach as I worried more and more for Matt. They'd had a bad call, when this happened Matt would be here, with his men, supporting them. So what did this mean that he wasn't here? Was it bad for him?

What happened after we'd left?

Herrmann let out a long breath as Kelly rubbed his face, "Chief called it," Kelly said quietly, "Chief called it and Matt had seen someone in the basement. Chief wouldn't let him go back inside, so we had to stop him running back in."

_Oh no, Matt..._

"Where is he?" I ask with a small voice and Herrmann answers, "He's out back. He's really pissed with us."

I found him out back hunched over in a worn plastic chair, hands tangled fiercely in his blonde hair as his shoulders shook. I kneel beside the chair, resting a hand on his knee. It was cold out, the Chicago winter setting in, and my body shivered. I was at a loss of what to say at first, what could I say? What could I say that he didn't already know?

"Matt, it's not your fault..." I say quietly but strongly, he doesn't look up. He barely acknowledges that I'm there. I sigh, my breath visible as a mist in the crisp air, and move my hand to his shoulder, "Matt, look at me, please."

Dark angry sad eyes stared up at me, "It's not your fault..." I repeat once more, pushing a forcefulness into my voice to make him listen to me. But Matt only responds by shrugging my hand off his shoulder and rising from the chair. Pushing me away.

"Matt, please... You did everything-" I say to his back.

Then he spins quickly on his toes, anger burning in his blue eyes, "What the hell would you know about any of this?" He yelled, throwing his arms up angrily.

My mouth drops open before I quickly compose myself. I'd never seen him like this. And I'd certainly never seen him shout at me without reason.

A moment's pause happened between us before I said, "You know where to find me when you want to talk," with a sharp tone. I then turned and headed back inside, hearing the plastic chair split as Matt kicked it.

* * *

Shay sips her wine with a smile before giggling, "I'm so glad we kicked the guys out. I love girls night," she said as I hunched over her toes, attempting to paint them but struggling with how much she moved. Erin sat on the sofa beside her with a bowl of popcorn on her lap as I sat on the coffee table in front of the sofa, holding Shay's toes in my hand.

"We didn't kick them out. They have poker night at Cruz's," Erin answers before throwing a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

I slap Shay's wiggling toes which earns me a yelp, "What the hell was that for?"

"Stop moving your damn toes!" I yell back at her with glaring eyes, daring her to test me again.

To be frank, I was enjoying girls night, but I could hardly stop myself from constantly thinking of Matt. Sure, I was upset that he'd yelled at me, but I was more worried about him than that. We hadn't really spoken since he'd yelled at me and I was beginning to get more worried than I was earlier. I wondered what he was like at boys night. I wondered what he was thinking.

Out of the corner of my eyes I could see Erin raise her brows to Shay, who responded with a nod of the head, "Oh yes, she's in the midst of a lovers' tiff so she's grouchy."

"It wasn't a lovers tiff," I correct before turning to Erin to explain properly, "He lost someone at a call and he's angry because Boden called it. He got angry at me so I'm letting him cool off and talk when he's ready."

Erin hadn't a chance to answer before Shay blurted out, "No, she's waiting for him to come back grovelling with some amazing make-up sex."

Erin bursts out laughing and I feel my face burn red with embarrassment, "Shay, this is serious!"

"Okay okay," she giggles, holding up her hands, "Or maybe you'll get lucky and it'll be oral instead!"

I bury my face in my hands.

Erin inspects Shay's wine glass, "How much have you drunk?"

"Drunk?" She says with a raised brow, "This is just me, Erin. The 'au natural' Leslie Shay. I'm pretty open when it comes to all things sexual."

Erin rolls her eyes with a grin playing on her thin lips, "We've noticed."

Then my phone rings. _Matt. _Erin and Shay watch as I stare at the buzzing phone, letting it go to voicemail. When I look back up at them, their confused faces were asking for an explanation, "What?" I smirked, "Who doesn't love make-up sex?"

* * *

_"Hey, Gabby... I just, uh yeah, I don't know. It's poker night with the guys and all I want to do is cash in my chips and go home to you, except you're pissed with me. And you have every right to be. I wasn't pissed off with you, I wasn't even pissed off with Chief, it was just the situation... I'm sorry... I hope you pick up or I'll guess I'll just have to stay here and take all of Cruz's money. Anyway, I hope you guys are having a great time and are not drinking all our alcohol... I'm sorry for how I acted earlier. Anyway, I love you... Okay, bye..."_

"Awh hunny, you're definitely getting the biggest hump thrown into you when he gets home," Shay said with obvious amusement for my evermore embarrassment. After finishing her toes, which turned out better than I'd expected, I'd squished myself between them on the sofa and collected a wine glass of my own.

Matt had left me a voicemail and after playing it to myself in the bathroom, Shay and Erin had demanded that I play it aloud to them too. They'd both 'awh-ed.'

"He's totally smitten for you," Erin smiled whilst nudging my side. I hide my eyes with my hands as Shay catcalled and then thankfully, before they could continue teasing me, the door knocked.

After quickly paying the pizza guy I headed back to the sofa and now with pizza in sight, Erin and Shay finally left me alone. They fought over their 'meat feast' while I sat in the armchair with my Hawaiian pizza, content with watching them argue over pieces. Shay slapped Erin's hand away from a piece she'd been eyeing up. Erin rolled her eyes, rushed off to the kitchen to grab a plate, and then scooped up a few pieces onto the plate to quit their arguing before Shay got really defensive over her food.

"Hopefully the pizza will stop the alcohol from going to your head, though I'm not sure if it hasn't already," I comment playfully as I watch Shay take a sip of wine between her pizza bites.

She narrows her bright blue eyes at me, "Carry on with that mocking tone and I'll _really _step up the sex jokes."

Not wanting a repeat of the last hour I rolled my eyes and kept my mouth shut. Erin smirks, but not wanting Shay to turn the jokes on her she doesn't say anything. Instead, a few moments later she suggests, "You wanna put on a movie?"

Shay smiles, "I just rented 'The Vow?"

I scoff, "A gushy romance Shay? Really?"

"You're one to talk!" Shay laughs, "Did you see the scene I woke up to yesterday? You and Matt cuddled on the sofa, as he tickled you relentlessly and you kissed him passionately to make him stop!" She sings in a dramatic and soppy tone, wiping a fake tear from her humorous eyes.

Erin tried to ignore this as she moved to put the DVD on but she bursts out with laughter and I'm left feeling tempted to throw a bottle at Shay's head. She sits there giggling to herself for a while before the movie starts and instead we focus on that, rather than try to annoy each other.

But my mind can't focus on the movie. I keep thinking about Matt, about the call, about his anger at losing someone. I thought about his voicemail and I wondered if he was okay. If the anger had subsided, leaving him to think clearly about what happened. Because in reality, Matt knew that Chief was right in calling it. Matt, if it were his own men, he would have told them the same thing. It's just the thought of leaving someone inside, it kills you. But Matt knows that if Chief let him back in that building, more than one life would be lost and Chief couldn't let that happen. It's why he's there.

When 11pm rolls around, we're only half way through the movie and I haven't processed a second of it. Then I hear a car pull up outside and I try to move with a casual demeanor towards the window, but I rush too much to be conspicuous.

It's Kelly's car and I don't care if I'm gonna get stick from Shay, I need to hold Matt and tell him that I love him. I rush out the door to Erin's whistle and Shay's exclamation of, "Go get 'em tiger!" hearing the door shut as I slip into the elevator.

I open the front door to our apartment block before Matt and Kelly made it close, after grabbing their bags from the backseat and Kelly taking a minute to make sure his baby was still in pristine condition. He looked calm as he approached with Matt, so I was sure that nothing happened to his precious car.

Kelly smirks as he slips past me, kissing my head whilst chuckling, "Make him grovel Gabs," before he moves to the elevator.

Matt approaches me slowly, a cautious and apologetic look in his eye. I hold out my arms, "Come here," I murmur softly, as Matt steps forwards and engulfs me in his warm and strong arms. I bury my face in his chest, breathing in his addictable and comforting scent that I'd missed all day, and I hear Matt shut the front door, shutting out the cold Chicago air.

"You got my voicemail," he says as I pull my face out of his chest, staring up at his blue eyes instead. I nod in reply.

"I'm sorry for getting angry with you, it's just..." Matt says, but I press my lips against his to silence him.

"Ssh," I whisper as I pull away, "It's hard, I get that... but you can talk to me Matt. When stuff like this happens, you need to talk to me baby."

He nods his head slowly, allowing a moment to process my words before he says, "You're amazing, you know that?"

I smile widely, "Well yeah, this hot guy that I work with, he keeps telling me that," I tease playfully, watching as a grin of his own spreads on Matt's face. He starts moving us towards the elevator and he presses the button.

"Oh really, well I hope he never sees you dressed like this, because you're looking pretty damn irresistable right now," Matt growls quietly as he pushes me into the elevator and flicks the switch to halt it in place.

As he presses me against the cool metal wall I feel my breath hitch. I look down, I was only wearing a pair of old pyjama shorts, pig slippers and a sweater of Matt's, which I'm pretty sure had an ice-cream stain on it.

"Oh," I roll my eyes, "He sees me dressed like this all the time. Sometimes naked too."

"I can't even think like that. I want you all to myself," Matt husks and the tone of jealously I heard in his voice sent shivers down my spine and turned me on completely.

"Then it's a good job that you have me, forever," I whisper as I press my lips against his desperately, pulling his body as close as physically possible to mine.

_We'd definitely have to try elevator sex one day. _

After a few minutes of relentless make-up kissing Matt decided that we couldn't let Shay's imagination run away with her for too much longer, so we headed back to the apartment. We settled onto the sofa beside Shay as Kelly sat on the armchair with Erin in his lap, and they then proceeded to tell us about boys night and how Matt did indeed take all of Cruz's money.

"See," Shay started, "Us girls could never play poker. Our winnings would be in food and trust me, there's no way, winning or not, I'm giving someone else my meat feast pizza. Not even to the hottest chick on this planet."

I burst out laughing and so does everyone else. I'd come to the conclusion that this had nothing to do with the wine and it was the just the typical 'Shay-ness' we all know and love. Kelly said something in reply and eventually the conversation moved on again. As it neared midnight, Erin looked up at me and said, "Gabs, if you're planning to go to your parents' grave on Friday, do you mind if I come with?"

_Friday. It'll be six years Friday. 6 days until Friday rolls around. _

There was a silence and I felt all eyes on me as I replied, "Yeah, of course... six years..." I trailed off, as I felt the memories of that night slip into my the forefront of my mind again. They were as crisp and clear as if it had happened yesterday, every little detail burned into my mind forever.

_"So what's going on with you and Jeremy?" I ask Erin as she drives me home. She'd asked me sneak out so she could go see Jeremy, this guy that had caught her attention recently. In all honestly, I'd been completely bored all night, but it was Erin. I couldn't let her meet some random guys alone._

_Erin shrugs, "What you do mean?"_

_"You make me sneak out and you're driving me home at 2am, the least you can do is give me some info!" I yelp and slap the seat, hoping to make her cave into telling me something._

_Erin laughs and shakes her head, "Well in all honesty, I think he's an arrogant jackass."_

_I rolled my eyes, "Good. No more sneaking out at hours when I'm supposed to be sleeping. I need my sleep Erin."_

_"As I've been told many times Gabs..."_

_I narrow my eyes at her, "And you still don't listen."_

_She tells me more about how cocky and snobby this Jeremy was as we near my house. We pull onto the street and the first thing that greets me is blue flashing lights. So many lights. As we drive closer, there's at least six cops cars and two ambulances parked around my house. People are everywhere. Neighbours are out in their dressing gowns and slippers. _

_But it can't be my house. It can't. _

_But it is. _

_Susan, a neighbour from across the street, she's pointing at my house with teary eyes. _

_"Gabby..." Erin murmurs with shock as the car pulls to a stop. My heart is pounding and I feel frozen, but before I know it I'm out of the car and I'm racing towards my house. _

_I push past a police officer and duck underneath the yellow tape. There was so much noise but I could hardly hear anything except for my pulse in my ears. I'm screaming, I think. I can't be sure. _

_I feel hands try to grab me, but I'm moving too fast for anyone to get a good grip. I push through the door. There's blood. _

_I hear someone call my name, it's somewhat familiar but my hearing is compromised because I'm screaming 'Mom' and 'Dad' over and over. _

_There's blood. _

_A long line of it is smudged along the wooden floor and I'm following it before I can stop myself. I turn into the dining room, where people in white suits stare at me with bewilderment. There's a few officers around, a few detectives. _

_But I can't look at anything other than the two white sheets on the ground. Two white sheets, small patches of blood staining them, covering two perfectly still bodies. _

_I'm screaming. _

_I lunge at the white cloth, but before I can grab a hold of them hands clasp around my waist and I'm pulled away. I'm fighting against the arms. There's four in total. Four strong arms keeping me still, pulling myeaway from the white cloth. I scream at them. They don't let me go. _

_I'm carried outside. I'm taken to the swing. One set of arms pulls me down into their lap. The other stands in front of us, ensuring that I don't run off again._

_My throat hurts. I'm still screaming. _

_"Gabby," the arms say. I recognise the voice. It's Antonio. The newly promoted detective. My brother. Antonio. _

_I recognise the other pair of arms too. Detective Voight. Antonio's boss. _

_"Gabby," Antonio says once more as he tries and calms me down. I'm not screaming anymore, but I'm crying. He is too. He's holding onto me for dear life. _

_"Get off me Antonio!" I wail desperately. I want to see the white cloth. I want to see what's underneath. It can't..._

_He secures my fighting arms against his chest, "Gabby, listen to me... They're gone, mom and dad are gone..."_

_"No!" I scream and I lunge out of his arms. Voight catches me and I fall to the floor. My legs can't hold me up - they're shaking. I curl up into a ball, my hands pull tightly at my hair and I'm crying, screaming. _

_I finally let Antonio hold me. Through his tears he murmurs, "I'm glad you weren't here too..." he says mostly to himself, because in his mind, I could have died too._

_I wish I had. _

"Gabby... baby," the voice was coaxing me out of my daydream, it was Matt. He was rubbing my arm, trying to get my attention. I shake my head and look up at him.

"Yeah?" I murmur, my voice quiet.

Matt looks down at me with concern in his blue eyes, "You were somewhere else then," he says, brushing my hair out of my eyes.

I hum, "Yeah, daydreaming... I'm tired... I'm gonna go to bed," I can feel their eyes on me as I speak. Matt sighs. He helps me shuffle off the sofa and he walks with me towards the stairs.

"Goodnight guys, I had fun tonight," I call back at Erin, Shay and Kelly, who each murmur a 'goodnight' in return. I didn't hear if anything was said after that.

I use the bathroom and brush my teeth and head into Matt's room, curling under his sheets and breathing in his scent. Matt came in a few moments later, after repeating the same process as I had, and he climbs into bed beside me.

Matt pulls my body to his chest and I rest my head against it, placing my hand on his waist as Matt's arms curled around me. He kisses my head, "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too," I reply back, pressing a kiss to his chest.

"So I want you to know that I'm here too... I know these next few days are gonna be rough, but I'm here with you, and I'm not going anywhere," Matt says honestly and I nod slowly.

"Thank you," I murmur.

Soon after his breathing evens out and he falls asleep, but I lay awake. I can't sleep.

Memories haunt me once more.


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey everyone! **

**I apologise for the crazy delay, but I thank you all for sticking with me!**

**There'll probably only be a few more chapters left of this story, but we'll see!**

**I hope you enjoy this one.**

**I was just curious, would anyone read a Chicago Fire/Lie to me crossover fic if I wrote one? I have an idea that I'd love to write! Leave me a review on your thoughts. They're always well appreciated!**

**Hope you're having a lovely Sunday!**

**oxoxoxo**

* * *

**_Casey_**

Kelly and I sat up watching the Blackhawks game. Shay was staying with Kendra and Gabby was tired, so she'd retired to bed over an hour ago. It was nearing 1am, but Kelly and I had missed the game whilst we were at work and we were keen to catch up with it.

"We're kicking ass," Kelly said with a smug grin as he watched the TV. We were both pleased with the fact that the Blackhawks were winning by a long shot.

"One of the best performances all season," I replied without taking my eyes off the screen. There were only a few minutes left, I was sure we'd won, so I was looking forward to seeing Otis tomorrow, who know owed me.

"Otis isn't gonna be happy that they're doing so well, he owes you fifty bucks now," Kelly laughed and I chuckled too.

"Yeah, he should learn not to bet against me…"

The match was almost finished when I heard a strange noise from upstairs. Kelly must have heard it too as he muted the TV. Then a few seconds later, I heard the noise once more. It took me a few seconds to make out what it was. Cries.

I sprinted up the stairs and into my room, where Gabby was staying, the cries becoming clearer and louder as I neared. I was worried. I was frantic, but I was pretty sure I knew what was going on. I pushed open the half-open door, the light from the hallway illuminating the room so I could see what was happening.

It was Gabby; she was writhing on the bed and crying loudly. Wailing. _Nightmares. _I rush over to the bed and constrain her flaying arms with my hands, saying loudly but not too loud, "Gabby, baby, wake up. It's just a dream…"

My hands on her arms and my voice were enough to stir her from her painful dream. She wakes up with startled and wide eyes, her body struggling against mine for a second before she realised who I was. Her breaths are quick and shallow and her body is really warm from all the writhing, "You're okay, I'm here…" I reassure her startled self, before she collapses into a fit of tears against my chest.

I wrap my arms around her shaky body murmuring sweet nothings in her ear to relax her shaken self. I spot Kelly in the corner of my eye, leaning against the wardrobe with a concerned expression on his face. Silently we exchanged that we were worried for her and that we knew that the cause for this upset was the death of her parent's anniversary in two days. Gabby had been off ever since Erin's comment the other night, bringing the anniversary to the forefront of Gabby's mind. It was clearly a hard time for her.

Gabby sobs against my chest, the cries frequent and fierce at first, before they slowly reduced to quiet whimpers. Then I felt her breathing even out and she was asleep once more. I lay her back down in bed and pulled the covers over her body. I watched her intently as I slipped outside to speak to Kelly, who was rubbing his face with worry.

"She hasn't been right for a few days now..." Kelly gruffs quietly, making sure our voices wouldn't disturb Gabby, who was no doubt in for a restless night.

I nod and my concern for Gabby was sky-high. I was afraid that these memories and the anniversary would send her into a tailspin and I was unsure of how to help her, I just knew that I needed too.

"I'm not sure what to do Kelly," I sigh, glancing back through the half closed-door, hoping not to hear anymore cries. I didn't.

"Just be there for her, that's all you can do Matt. Let her know that you're not going anywhere..." Kelly says honestly, resting up against the landing wall. "This may not get any worse, she might wade through it, or she could tailspin. I don't know, but we just need to be there for her whatever happens and help her through it."

"And if I can't?"

He shakes his head, "Don't doubt what you do for her Matt, don't doubt the comfort and help you give her. You're more help than you realise, she needs you. Don't doubt yourself when it comes to this. You're probably the best thing for her right now."

I nod again and let out a rough breath, running my hand through my hair. Maybe he was right, but whatever happened, I'd be there for Gabby no matter what.

A moment passed before Kelly patted my arm and said, "I'll lock up and turn off the lights downstairs. You go be with Gabby..."

"Thanks man," I murmur in return as I slip into the room, closing the door quietly behind me. I make my way around the bed and pull of my sweatpants before sliding in beside Gabby, pulling the covers to my waist. Her soft breathing is the only sound, interrupted by the occasional hiccup from crying. I shuffle to her side and place my hand around her waist to let her know that I'm here, and eventually I fall asleep.

* * *

I wake with the feeling of soft fingers trailing back and forth my arm as Gabby lay with her head on my chest. I grunt with consciousness, causing Gabby to lift up her head and look at me. My arm that was wrapped around her tightened and held her close.

"Hey," she whispers as she rested her chin on my chest, looking up at me. I brush my hands through her hair as I reply, "Morning..."

She didn't seem herself. Quiet, reserved, nervous almost. I frowned when she didn't say more, "Baby, what's going on?" I ask gently, ensuring her with a soft tone that I wasn't judging or forcing the words from her. I just wanted her to know that I was concerned.

Gabby battles with what to say at first, her mouth opening slightly as if she was about to speak before it closed again, "I don't know..." and then I thought she was going to leave it there, but she didn't, "it's nuts how this... wave suddenly hits me... and it feels like I'm drowning in the pain of that day all over again..."

She tries to focus her breaths to prevent herself from crying and it works to some degree. I'm pained by her words, it hurts to know that she feels this much sadness and sorrow, but I don't let it show. I need to be strong for her.

"I want you to talk to me, whenever that wave hits... We can wade through it together because I'm here for you, always..." I reply with honesty, hoping to make her see that I was here forever.

Gabby nods her head, a small sliver of a smile tugging at her lips, "I know... I just don't want to end up like before and I'm scared that I will. It hurts so much it feels like only yesterday they died."

I wipe a tear from her cheek, "Tell me about them," I ask gently.

With wide eyes she responds with "What?"

"Your mom and dad," I explain, "Tell me about them... Must have been great people to produce Antonio," I tease lightly and watch as her eyes glimmer happily.

She narrows her eyes then, "Don't push it... Mom was excentric and erratic and constantly covered in flour because she was always baking something. Baking was her passion so she ran a little service from the house, baking for anyone and everyone. She was always making people's cakes for any occasion, she loved her work and whenever she could she always let me help out and she'd teach me how to decorate the cakes properly. If we weren't cleaning our mess we were making more of it. It's how we bonded and it's how I love to remember her... She was loud and wild but compassionate and caring. I could always go to her to talk and for advice. Dad always joked how she was young despite her years and she'd responded by swatting him with her oven gloves that were constantly over her shoulder. The house was never quiet and she loved that...

Dad used to say how I had him wrapped around his little finger and truth was, I did. He was a cop too and half the reason why Antonio went into the force. He loved what he did - he helped so many people get into better lives. He much rathered talking through problems than firing his gun and it made him a great cop. He was quieter than mom, I supposed they were complete opposites of each other and they balanced the other out. They were chalk and cheese and completely in love. Dad always had these neighbourhood BBQs, where anyone could come by and the whole block would be there. He accepted anyone, helped anyone. Mom would laugh that he'd give his right leg if someone needed it, but a part of me, even when I was a kid, believed that she was right. He always used to say that he was glad that I was more like my mom than him, stubborn, passionate and excentric, and why I would ask why he'd say '_because I love your mother so much hun, and knowing that there's two of her in this world makes it a better place.' _I always think of that and I wonder whether he'd say the same now..."

Gabby was crying and I was too. With a smile I wiped her eyes from her eyes once more and said, "He would."

* * *

We drove in Kelly's car to the cemetary straight after shift on Friday morning. Gabby and I sat in the back, her hand squeezed tightly in my own. She was gnawing her lip and her hand clenched around the bouquet of flowers on her lap. Her knee was bobbing up and down nervously. She'd been quiet all day. The anniversary finally sinking in.

As we pulled up outside the cemetary I saw that Erin and Antonio and his family were already standing beside a grave. I felt Gabby squeeze my hand so tight as Shay and Kelly got out of the car. She swallowed thickly.

"I'm here," I murmur quietly when she looks at me, tears glistening in her eyes. Gabby nods and opens her door.

I walk around the car to meet her, her hand slipping quickly into mine once more. It was cold and Gabby pressed herself into my side, but I wasn't sure if it was because of the chilly air. She clutched the flowers to her chest as we moved through the gate and up the path. Gabby allowed Kelly and Shay to go first, giving herself a moment to process everything.

Eva and Diego spotted Gabby and rushed to her side, wrapping their arms around her waist. "Hey Gabby!" The called, always cheerful to see their aunt. Gabby smiled and pressed a kiss to their heads, "Hey kids... Diego you need a haircut," she laughed at her crazy haired nephew.

Diego huffed, "It's supposed to look like this!"

Laura chuckled and hugged Gabby, "I think it has something to do with a girl."

Gabby laughed when Diego huffed once more.

Then she finally turned to look at the grave, after trying her best to avoid setting her eyes on it. Antonio wrapped his arm around her side as she gazed at the white lilies laying before the headstone and he murmured, "You know mom had a thing for lilies..."

She nodded her head, "They were her favourite."

Erin stood beside Kelly, her hand in his, looking at the headstone. She swallowed thickly and she seemed to be deep in thought. _Remembering that night. _The children stood either side of the their mother, who had one hand on Antonio's arm as he stood beside his sister. Shay moved to my side as we gave them a moment and she nodded at me, intertwining her arm with mine.

"It doesn't seem like six years have passed," Antonio says with a forlorn expression on his face. Gabby's eyes were glassy and I knew what look was on her face. The one she wore when she was trying not to breakdown.

Gabby moved to lay the bouquet of brightly coloured flowers beside the lilies. Eva smiled, "They're beautiful Gabby."

Gabby nodded, unmoving her eyes from the headstone.

_Raymond Dawson_

_1958-2008_

_A beloved husband, father and friend who is greatly missed by all those he knew_

_Maria Gabriela Dawson_

_1961-2008_

_A dear wife and mother, who is looking down on her children from the sky_

_"The best thing I ever did was become a mom... the second, becoming a mom again" - Maria._

Laura and Antonio stayed for a while longer, just commemorating, before they decided to take the children home. Soon after Erin, Shay and Kelly made their way over to the car to give Gabby some time alone. She hadn't spoken a word for over half hour, she just stared at the headstone.

I moved to her side and squeezed her hand. Slowly, Gabby moved her brown eyes up to look at me, "Do you want me to stay or would you like some time alone?"

"Could I have a moment please?" She murmurs back with a quiet voice and I nod, pressing a kiss to her head.

"I'll be at the car. Take as long as you need."

I headed back to the car where I found Shay, Kelly and Erin. "She's having a moment," I explain when they stare at me confused. They nod. I turn and watch Gabby standing at the grave, just standing.

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"Hey mom, dad... it's been a long time since I was last here and I'm sorry for that... It's been hard... The other day all I could think about that trip we took to the cabin when I was five. The time when I fell in the lake and dad saved me? Yeah, it was the best trip... I miss that we can't do that. I miss you both, so much... Eva and Diego are getting so big now and I hate that they'll never know you. I hate that my children will never know you. I hate that you don't get to know Matt...

I used to be sorry that I wasn't there that night. When Antonio found me, he told me he was glad I wasn't there. I never understood that. I _wanted _to have been there. I wanted to have died with you, because it wasn't fair that you had to go and I didn't want to live without you... But now I'm not. I'm glad that I'm still alive. I'm glad that I can still be here for Antonio. I'm glad that I'm still living, because I have a great life. And I know that's what you would have wanted. I just wish you were still here to live with me... I know that you two would be glad that I wasn't there that night and I know you would have hated who I became afterwards. And I'm sorry for making you watch that... But I want to thank you for having me. For bringing me into this world to experience this life, because it's the best.

I love you mom. I love you dad. And I still miss you every single day. That'll never change, but I can live knowing that you're watching from somewhere. I'm going to make you proud, I promise..."


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone! **

**I managed to squeeze in this update for you guys - I hope you like it! I really enjoyed writing this chapter!**

**This chapter is very nice and fluffy, complete content and happiness, but in the next chapter there'll be some adversity that our guys will have to face!**

**I hope you'll stick with me through this! I can't wait to write more!**

**Love you all!**

**xoxoxo**

* * *

**_Dawson_**

"What are you doing?"

Matt returns my question with a grin and "Kissing your neck."

I raise a brow as my head lulls to the side, allowing him more access to my neck as I sat with my back pressed against his chest, "Why is the better question..."

"Just because," he answers, which wasn't really an answer at all.

"You're supposed to be watching TV and I'm trying to read here," I scold halfheartedly, secretly loving his warm lips on my skin. I feel the vibrations of Matt's chuckle in my back and smiled despite myself, the book falling into my lap.

Kelly was spending the day with Erin, who had the day off work, and Shay was with Kendra, babysitting Kendra's nieces. Matt and I were spending the day in wrapped under a blanket on the couch, due to the bitter Chicago weather.

"You've gotten through half of that book in three hours, I'm sure you've done enough reading for now..." Matt says with a smile in his voice, resting his head on my shoulder.

I try to bury myself deeper into his arms as I reply, "It's a good book," with a soft tone.

"I'm sure I can entertain you more..." Matt husks quietly into my ear and I laugh loudly. Under the blanket, I press my bare cold feet against his legs and feel him jump at the cold contact.

"You sure you want my cold skin on yours?" I say with humor in my voice, feeling as Matt held my feet in place with his socked ones.

"Is that something you really have to question?"

I scoff and roll my eyes, "Not really, you are a man after all..."

Matt laughs once more, "Don't tarnish us all with the same brush."

Matt tightens his arms around me as I shuffle down to lie against him rather than sitting up. I feel my body completely relax enclosed in his as his hands run through my hair, the book now forgotten on my lap.

"What time are we meeting everyone tonight?" I murmur, trying to stifle a yawn but failing wonderfully.

"Eight at The Inn," he answers, his soft actions and quiet voice making me feel sleepier by the second.

"Okay, good..."

Matt gives a light laugh as he presses a kiss to my head saying, "I'll wake you up with plenty of time to get ready."

"I'm not...going...to sleep..."

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I'd been sleeping for but I was awoken to the smell of chicken. And I was starving.

I stretch out my stiff limbs on the sofa realising that Matt wasn't here, he'd managed to maneuver my lump off his chest poor boy. It was still cold and I was still half asleep so I took the blanket with me as I stood up.

I see Matt standing at the stove just starting to serve up dinner, listening intently to the sports station playing from the radio. I smile as I lean up against the kitchen counter, "Look at you making yourself useful."

Matt turns around and a grin slowly pulls at his lips, "Are you implying that I'm usually the opposite?"

I shrug and tighten my grip on the blanket around me, "Infer what you want Matt..."

He sets the plate he was filling with rice down and moves towards me, straightening my body as before I had slouched over the counter lazily. I tried to clutch the blanket to my chest but I saw the look on Matt's eye and knew exactly what he wanted. My knees weakened when he teased the blanket from my grip and it fell from my body, allowing the crisp air of the apartment to breeze over my exposed skin. Matt curls his hands around my waist and presses a wet kiss to my jaw, then my neck, then my collar-bone... His one hand cupped my waist to hold me steady as the other roamed my skin, teasing the bare skin of my short clad legs.

I tried to silence the whimper threatening to escape my lips but the attempt was futile, the needy sound in Matt's ear causing a smirk to grace his smug face. His hand brushed over my heat and I let out a shaky breath, trying to create a coherent thought in my mind but failing fantastically.

"Matt, please..." I beg desperately, trying to pull his lips to mine but they were intent on teasing any part of my skin that wasn't my lips.

I did not give a damn that either Shay or Kelly could walk in at any given moment catching Matt and I in this awkward encounter, I wanted him. Now.

Matt finally kissed my lips, lifting my body onto the kitchen counter as our tongues fought passionately, my hands gripping far too tightly to his hot neck. When I tried to pull off his shirt he slowed my movements and pressed his forehead against mine, chuckling, "Dinner's getting cold..."

I narrowed my eyes at him, panting heavily and my hunger was craving him, not food, "Don't you dare Matthew Alan Casey..." I warn, earning another laugh from him.

He moves back towards the plates to finish serving and I shuffle to face him on the counter, "I was just proving that I'm always useful."

"By not sealing the deal?! Matthew Casey you get your ass back here right now..." I yelp with frustration, feeling too aroused to _do_ anything but Matt.

He simply continues his chef duties and huff in annoyance, jumping from the counter and shooting Matt a glare, "Oh _that's _your last Blondie. Just you see..."

Matt's smug laugh fills the apartment as I sit at the table, staring at him with anger and sexual frustration. _Just you see..._

* * *

_I swear the shoes I always decide to wear are always the hardest to find_, I grumble to myself as I stalk around my room searching for my black and white heels. I was ready, wearing black skinny trousers and a red peplum top, but I couldn't find my heels. _Just my luck._

Shay had turned up about an hour after dinner and Kelly not long after her, needing to grab some things for tonight. We weren't due to leave for another half hour, but I liked to be ready so no one would have to wait around for me. But no doubt we'd be waiting for Shay.

"When did I last wear them?" I mutter to myself, digging for the shoes at the bottom of my closet.

"Last wore what?" His voice startled me and I jumped, a frightened squeal escaping me. I turned just in time to see Matt close the door quietly behind me, having not realised he was coming in. _Oh, so he wanted to play nice after his little stunt earlier? Tough luck._

"My black heels with the white edge, I can't find them anywhere," I gruff, returning to search the now-messy closet.

A few moments later I heard the click of heels on the floor beside me and I titled my head to see Matt had placed them beside me. I huffed as he said, "They were under your bed."

I felt him kneel behind me as Matt pulled my back to his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist, "Thank you..."

He places a kiss to my neck, "I said that earlier was your last and I meant it," I mutter with a weak determination.

"I know..." he laughs lightly, the warmth of his breath against my skin. I love his laugh. Despite my self I smiled, I love him.

"You left me high and dry."

Matt nods, "I did."

"Extremely sexually frustrated."

"I know," he answers, his voice low, husky, but not intentionally. This was just Matt and no matter what he was doing, I forever wanted him.

I turned quickly and pushed him to the wooden floor roughly, straddling his hips. I press my lips forcefully against his, feeling him respond to me instantly. I smirked at the bulge of his jeans and stroked his tongue with mine, earning a groan in response.

"How quick can you be?" I whisper in his ear challengingly, knowing we had to leave soon and feeling him shudder.

I hear the pop of the button of my trousers as Matt mutters back, "How quiet can you be?" he counteracted.

I slide the zipper of Matt's jeans down, "I guess you'll just have to kiss me..."

Quickly we find each other and I let Matt fill me up, gasping at the feeling of him inside me, trying my best to stay quiet. Matt could tell I was struggling but he wasn't the slightest bit worried, he just used this as an excuse to silence my moans with his mouth. I rock against him rapidly, finding that overwhelming pace for both of us as Matt's hands gripped my waist and tangled in my hair. I used his shoulders as balance and my fingers clenched into the skin of his shoulders.

Matt's hand soon left my hair and slid down my front, and I shuddered at the thought of what was coming. My mind was spinning and focused solely on this fantastic man under my hands, the love of my life. His fingers found my sweet spot and within moments I was clenching down on him, and soon we were both experiencing the wonderous waves of intensity and love.

I collapse against him, panting roughly and trying to catch my breath. Matt cradled me to his chest and tried to calm his own breathing and soon, we lay totally relaxed and satisfied. I laughed lightly against his chest.

"I'm going to have to get ready all over again," I say as I rest my chin on his chest and look at him.

Matt shook his head and helped us both to our feet, "I'll help."

And he did. Matt re-buttoned my trousers and fixed my shirt, before doing his own. He brushed his hands through my hair to calm the messy sex hair, but he smiled and said 'I like it like this,' so I left it messy and curly. I wasn't allowing him to do my lipstick so I reapplied the red make-up and wiped it from Matt's lips. He let me balance against him as I slid on my heels and then he kissed my head.

"You're beautiful," he murmurs sincerely as I stare into the mirror, how he held my body against his, how I fit perfectly into his side, how extraordinarly perfect we looked together. How in love we were.

I move to kiss his lips but my bedroom door knocked loudly and obnoxiously, "Hey you two! It's time to leave - so quit the sexy-time and get your asses in the car!"

My face flushed red with embarrassment at Shay's words, but Matt hardly allowed myself a moment for composure before he pulled me out the door, chuckling at my embarrassment but seemingly unaffected himself.

"Oh young love," Shay mocked as she swatted my ass on the way out the door.

* * *

"SHOTS! SHOTS!" Shay yelled drunkenly as she stumbled towards our booth with a tray full of shots. She handed one out to everyone except Chief, Mills and me, who were the designated drivers of the night. We were entertaining nonalcoholic cocktails, whilst everyone else took their shot of tequila and winced. They would all certainly be nursing a hangover in the morning.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look?" Matt murmured against my neck, his arm thrown lazily across the back of the booth behind me. He was definitely drunk.

I laugh and kiss his lips, "You sure did. Thank you baby."

Across the table Shay, Cruz and Otis were sharing sex stories. I rolled my eyes as everyone tuned their ears and eyes to them, overhearing Shay squeal "Well oral is the best after all!"

Shay noticed all eyes on them and she yelped, slamming her hand on the booth, "You guys don't get to listen to the dirty stories without coughing up some of your own!"

"I'd prefer not hear about your sex lives, thanks," Kelly laughed before taking a large swig of his beer.

"Gabriela Dawson! How about you start with today?!" Shay slurred hurriedly and I felt the need to slap my palm to my forehead. My cheeks burned and Matt smirked, ready to open his mouth.

I slapped my hand across his mouth, staring him deathly in the eye, "One word from you Matthew Casey and you won't be experiencing sex with me _ever _again."

After sitting through a cringy story from Herrmann on his and Cindy's first time, most of the guys took to the dancefloor. The sober three stayed put in the booth and watched as chaos enfolded.

"That's a sight," Chief huffed as he watched Mouch and Herrmann dance like dads at a wedding, Clarke and Capp like dumb and dumber, and Matt, Shay and Kelly like professional strippers.

I pulled out my phone and took a video, laughing all the while.

"I bet they think they look awesome," Mills rolled his eyes and shook his head, before sipping the virgin 'sex on the beaches' I'd just gotten for us.

"They sure do, but I can't wait for them to see this video," I grin as I shut off the video.

I'd managed to drive the messy three back to the apartment and into the elevator and inside. I congratulated myself, this was mission in itself. Kelly and Shay were still dancing dirtly and rolled my eyes, whilst Matt had stumbled towards the fridge in search of chocolate.

"Found it!" He cheered excitedly and planted himself on top of the table, taking a chunk of the chocolate and then throwing some to the two strippers I'd brought home. Seriously, they were stripping.

"Hey Kelly, as much as I'm sure that this is every girl's dream, I don't need to see anymore thanks. And Shay, I know you love me and all, but even your banging bod will not change my sexual orientation," I explain to the underwear clothed drunken messes.

They fell onto the sofa as they munched on chocolate and watched some old hockey game, contented. I move back over to Matt who was still sitting on the table, pulling his jacket from his body and throwing in on the floor.

I wrap my arms around his neck as his eyes droop sleepily, "You want to go to bed, baby?"

Matt smiles adorably, pressing a sloppy kiss to my forehead, "As long as you stay with me..."

"Always."

I walk behind Matt as he slowly makes his way up the stairs, gripping at the stairs as he crawled up them. I turn to Kelly and Shay, who were still wide awake, drunk and still eating chocolate, half-naked.

"You guys okay on your own?" I laugh at Kelly and Shay, who turn up to wave at me.

"We're good," Kelly smiles sweetly, a lipstick kiss on his cheek from where Shay had kissed him earlier.

So I leave them to it and help Matt into his room, setting him down on the bed. I kiss his lips, tasting a mixture of alcohol and chocolate on his lips, "I'll be right back. Just using the bathroom."

When I return five minutes later I was surprised to find Matt still awake and even still clothed. He was sat on the bed, smiling at something on his phone. I kick off my heels and pull off my trousers before climbing on the bed beside him, looking over his shoulder at his phone.

Matt was staring at a photo of me and him from a few weeks ago taken at the firehouse by Shay. It was taken when I was cooking and I'd called Matt over to try the sauce I was making. I was holding the spoon in my hand with one hand underneath it, but we were looking at each other and laughing happily.

"I love this one... You're stunning..." Matt slurs adoringly and I kiss his head.

"It's a great picture," I agree as I climb back off the bed and pull off my top, ruffling through the drawer to find a shirt of Matt's.

"That's theft," he calls as he slides off his own shoes, taking a long while to do them himself. I laugh and kneel in front of him, helping him before Matt hurt himself. I then move to take off his jeans, of which he wiggles his eyes too, "You love me naked don't you?"

"Oh of course," I smile back as I throw the jeans to the floor and help him into bed properly.

"Hey, come here," Matt grumbles as he reaches his arms out and pulls me into the bed beside him. I squeal as I fall into his arms, but I soon find myself comfortable and relaxed in his arms.

"You know I'm completely in love with you, right?" Matt drawls adorably in my ear, running his hand along the back of my spine.

I smile against his chest, "I know baby... I love you too..."

"And you're the only woman I've ever thought about having children with... You'd be one hot mamma..." he babbles, hardly realising what he was saying.

I lift my head quickly, "Really?"

Matt crinkles his brows with confusion, "Why does that shock you?"

I shrug, "I don't know... just..."

"Not yet," Matt laughs, "But I want your beautiful babies..."

I roll my eyes, "Okay Casanova, we've got all the time in the world... Time for you to sleep yourself sober..."

Matt pouts and presses his lips out at me and I laugh at his silliness, "Kiss. First."

I press my lips against his and when I pulled away, Matt was sound asleep, his mouth open adorably. I kissed his lips once more, before resting my head into the crook of his neck.

I fell asleep to the thought that Matt wanted my children... and how I wanted his.


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey guys! **

**Apologies for such the delay! **

**I want to thank you all for the great reviews from the last chapter - every one made me smile and I'm grateful for all of you!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter - though it's not all that nice:( Here's a mountain that they have to climb.**

**Have a great day!**

**oxoxo**

* * *

"Oh you want to talk about embarrassing? Sit down my friend and let me show you something..." I tell a smug Cruz, who quickly pulls up a chair beside me and awaits eagerly.

I pull out my phone and find the video I'd recorded from the other night. Setting my volume up to the maximum I pressed play, watching Cruz's face change from smug arrogance to sheepish and abashed in seconds.

The loud music was capturing the others attention and soon I had the crowd of merry drinkers huddled around me, watching their drunken antics from the bar. I laughed at their faces and Mills 'high-fived' me.

"You see, the three sober musketeers enjoyed your _excentric _dancing so much we decided to record it as evidence... See there's the dad's dancing at a wedding - Mouch and Herrmann -, 'Dumb and dumber' in the form of Capp and Clarke doing a very weird impression of the 'robot' and finally, the three wannabe strippers," I explain with a great amount of humor in my voice, enjoying teasing them for their performances.

"I'll have you know I do a very good robot, thank you Dawson," Capp counteracted with a chuckle, finding the whole thing rather funny.

Mouch huffed and returned to his couch with a laughing Herrmann in tow. Shay slapped my shoulder, "You didn't tell me you recorded that!"

I wiggle my brows at her, "I didn't tell you that I took a picture of you and Kelly stripping at 2am either."

Shay snatched my phone and scrambled through to find it with Kelly by her side. Matt nudges my side with his sweet smile on his face, "I think we'd make pretty good strippers."

I raise a brow at him, "Oh really? Well in that case let me doll you three up and make some money out of you."

* * *

Whilst wandering through the firehouse trying to find Shay to help me with inventory because I was _not _doing it alone, I spotted Kelly sat at the squad table, staring at his phone as it lay on the table.

Coming to the conclusion that Shay and inventory can wait indefinitely, I moved towards the table and sat down, "Waiting for a call?" I said after Kelly moved his eyes from the phone to me.

"Yeah..." he drawled quietly, looking almost sheepish as if I'd embarrassed him.

I wiggled my brows suggestively and teased, "Look at you, Kelly Severide, professional ladies man extraordinaire, all loved up," before ending with a laugh that caused his cheeks to blush lightly.

"And so what if I am?" Kelly answered as a smile tugged at his lips, before leaning back into his chair to relax.

"It's cute. I'm happy for you. And Erin. You guys are great together you know," I tell him honestly, watching as his smile softened and his eyes glistened as he thought of Erin.

"I do know that Gabs, I do."

I move to flip the switch to close the garage doors, the bitterness of the Chicago winter blowing into the house. "It'd good to see you all lit up like a Christmas tree too, a difference from your grumpy old self."

Turning around with a shocked expression I swat his arm, "I was not grumpy!"

Kelly chuckles loudly, "Sure thing sweetie. But honestly, it's great to see you this happy."

I look towards the doors instinctively, knowing that Matt was somewhere inside, "Yeah... It's because of Matt. I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for him Kelly."

"Hey," he murmurs to capture my attention back from the doors, "You've helped him too Gabs. Don't doubt what you do for him. I've never seen Matt like this before either."

Before I could answer Kelly his eyes widened with shock and anger. I turned quickly on my feet just as Kelly stood and pulled my body behind him in a protective stance. I looked past Kelly to what he was glaring at.

My jaw dropped.

"Oh the blonde one is a main feature now yeah? Well I've got a bone to pick with him, he busted up my nose real bad..." Ray's words were slurred, angry and sly, and he wobbled on his feet as he stumbled a few feet closer.

"What the hell are you doing here Ray?" I accused as I moved around Kelly to face Ray head on, but Kelly held on to my arm to keep me close.

Ray was completely drunk and full of desperation and rage, his eyes smouldered darkly as he looked at me. His finger raised to point at me, "I think it's pretty clear why Gabriela."

"Ray I want nothing to do with you," I told him fiercely, "You lied to me for a year Ray, and we broke your wife's heart because of your selfishness... Go walk yourself sober and go home. We're done."

A deathly pause ensued before Ray's face turned red with rage as he screeched, "We're not done!" I flinched back and Kelly took a stance in front of me once more. Seconds later the guys came rushing out and Matt headed straight for Ray.

I halted him as he went by us, pressing my hands firmly against his chest. Matt looked down at me, his blue eyes filled with anger and an urge to defend me. I shook my head, "Matt, no."

"Oh how sweet..." Ray drawled bitterly and I turned to glare at him.

Our eyes met and I saw how furious he was and how desperate, "Go Ray, now. I won't stop him from kicking your ass again."

He paused, contemplating whether to test me or not. I guess by the way he scrutinized my face he got his answer. Ray huffed loudly and shook his head, "Have a good life Gabriela..." he hissed as he left, slamming the door behind him.

I let out a shaky breath, expecting to feel relieved but a deep feeling of dread filled my stomach. I was snapped out of it as Matt wrapped his arms around me much tighter than I was used too, "Are you okay?"

I nod my head against his shoulder, "Yeah, I'm fine..."

He pulls away and cups my head in his palms, "You're not fine. That asshole has no right to keep doing this to you Gabby, especially if he decides to turn up in that state."

"I know," I sigh and then I'm reminded that the guys are standing there watching us, "I'm gonna go use the bathroom..."

As I pass by them I say, "Guys I'm sorry you had to see this again," before quickly rushing inside. I rush to the bathroom and lock myself in one of the stalls, sitting on the toilet seat. I bury my head in my hands, wondering why my entire body was on edge and why no matter how hard I tried to push away the feeling of fear and foreboding, it wouldn't go away.

* * *

The rest of the shift went by with little drama. Chief offered me to go home, but I told him that the only thing that was going to get my mind off Ray was work. Matt suggested that I call Antonio, but I didn't want to worry him. Besides, I knew how angry he'd get over Ray showing up here again. Shay sang to me as we did inventory, lightening my mood greatly and making me laugh like crazy. She knew just how to cheer me up.

At 8am we changed out and everyone began making their way home. Kelly, Shay, Matt and I were heading out to get breakfast so we were the first to leave, the rest of the guys dawdling in the garage. Kelly and Shay climbed inside of Kelly's Camaro and Matt and I moved to Matt's truck, but he stopped me before I could climb inside.

He took my hand in his and sighed, "Baby, I'm worried..."

"About me," I finished for him, looking away awkwardly, "I'm sorry that he keeps showing up. I know it's not fair to you-"

Matt shook his head, "This has nothing to do with me. It's you that I'm worried about baby, I know he's scaring you."

I nodded, "He is. I've got this awful feeling that something bad is going to happen Matt and I don't like it."

He kisses me slowly, pulling away slightly to murmur against my lips, "I promise I won't let anything happen to you Gabby."

A small smile tugs at my lips as Matt opens my door for me and slide inside. A second later he was by my side, taking my hand in his. He set the truck into drive and we pulled off the curb.

The radio came to life just as everything went dark.

* * *

_**Shay**_

Kelly and I waited in the Camaro for Matt and Gabby to finish talking. She looked worried and I knew from looking in her eyes today that she was. Matt was trying to set her at ease, calm her, just like he always did.

Kelly sighed bitterly, "That fucking bastard has some nerve to show up again."

I nod my head and turn up the heating as I was shivering against the cold leather seats, "What does he think it'll achieve? That she'll run back into his arm and forgive him? He's an idiot if he thinks she'll do that."

I watched as Kelly swallowed thickly. I could tell how much he was worried for Gabby. She was his little sister in so many ways and he always felt the need to protect her like she was blood. He couldn't stand the idea of her being hurt and he despised the thing to hurt her.

"He's desperate Shay... and drunk."

Matt and Gabby soon climb into his truck after Matt succeeded, as always, in calming Gabby so much that a smile graced her features. I was so happy that they'd found each other. Looking back, they were a perfect fit from the start.

We drove off just as Matt had and before I knew it Kelly was slamming on the brakes. I didn't know what happened. I yelped. The seatbelt bit my skin.

Kelly launched himself out of the car after glancing at me. I looked up. A black jeep had slammed into Matt's truck. The driver's side. A fit of panic took over.

I quickly followed Kelly calling for help but already finding our shift and first shift rushing down the driveway. Chief was already giving orders. His face paled.

I made myself by Gabby's side, she was unconscious. I yanked on her door and found that it opened fine. I pressed my fingers against her neck. A strong pulse.

Matt's arm was thrown across her lap. He protected her.

People are screaming.

Gabby's head lulls to one side as her eyes open. They flutter at first, before they open widely, stunned. She screams.

"Matt!" She yells after seeing him. For the first time I take a look at him.

He was in bad shape.

"Come on buddy," Kelly's calling as first shift maneuver to get the driver door open. Gabby's trying to tend to him. Chief and I hold her still.

"Get off me! Help him - not me! Help him!" She screeches at us, tears running down her face.

Taylor and Mac, the first shift ambo guys, slide Gabby out of the car with the help of Chief and Herrmann. She's yelling at them to help Matt, to leave her alone, to make sure he's okay. He's still unconscious.

Chief and Herrmann, both EMT certified, tell Taylor and Mac to tend to Matt as they deem that Gabby wasn't badly hurt. 'Cuts and bruises' I hear Chief murmur to Mills. I sit beside Gabby on the pavement and make sure she stays put. I pull her into my arms, feeling her body shake.

Gabby looks over to the black jeep that slammed into Matt's truck.

"It's Ray," she says, just as he's pulled out of the jeep and taken to sit on the pavement also. His heads bleeding. That's it.

When Matt is pulled from the wreck Gabby rushes over, pushing her way past the guys. I follow quickly. They're rolling him into 61. He's covered in blood.

He's still unconscious.

Gabby climbs into 61, crying and screeching to Matt '_Stay with me!'_

The sirens wail away. They have a police escort.

Kelly launches at Ray. Chief, Herrmann and Otis pull him away. He rushes to the Camaro. I rush too.

Before I climb inside I hear Chief tell everyone to head to Lakeshore - _'That's where 61 is taking them' _he says.

Kelly cries as he drives as fast as he can to the hospital. I don't see Kelly cry often. It's obviously bad. Of course it's bad.

I cry too.

* * *

Chief, Herrmann and Mouch make it to the hospital at the same time as us. Everyone else are not far behind.

We're directed into a the waiting area of the emergency room. Gabby is pacing there. She's covered in blood. Kendra's trying to get her looked at, but Gabby's having none of it.

"She's in shock," Kendra explains as the guys take seats around her, "But I need to take a look at her head."

I nod and approach her, placing my hands on her arms causing her to stop pacing and look at me. She's crying desperately.

"He was seizing Shay. It's bad. It's bad."

We somehow get her to a small side room to be looked at. Just her, Kendra and me. Kendra's as quick as she can be without dropping her standards and comes to the conclusion that Gabby's fine, aside from the shock and a sprained wrist. Then I realise that the blood's not hers.

Gabby sees me staring at her bloodied clothes, "It's not mine," she murmurs, "It's the blood from his head and leg. His leg had a pretty deep wound - he lost a lot of blood. But they're worried about his head. It's bad."

I nod and take her into my arms, cradling her crying body against mine. I couldn't tell her that everything was going to be okay. That Matt was going to be okay.

I couldn't tell her because I simply didn't know.


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi everyone! **

**I'm back with another chapter! First of all, I would like to thank every single one of you for your wonderful reviews. They are what keep me going as a writer and I thank you all for taking the time to let me know what you think about this story.**

**Secondly, this chapter will deal primarily with finding out about Matt's condition and then soon we'll see about Gabby's guilt and what happens with Ray.**

**I hope you guys still love this story as much as I do.**

**Oh, and if any of you guys are on twitter I'd love to hear from you! My name is gm_casey**

**Love you all!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

**_Kelly_**

How could this be happening?

After fifteen minutes Shay and Gabby returned to the waiting room. Gabby was pale and shaky, her eyes filled with sorrow and deep fear, and she looked up expecting for us to have heard news.

Chief shakes his head at her silent request, "Nothing yet," he says quietly as Shay guides Gabby to a chair. She didn't look strong enough to stand for herself. Her body drained and depleted from the crash and her fear for Matt.

For me, it felt like Gabby's expressions explained my emotions perfectly. I'd seen how bad it was. How bad his condition was when I'd raced to the driver's side. There was so much blood. And I couldn't lose Matt. He was my best friend and the guy had always been there for me. Sure, I'd pulled Matt out of some pretty big holes but the length that Matt had gone to help me so many times was no match. I guess Shay had done a lot of work too, but sometimes a guy just needs a guy to talk too. Matt was always that guy. He was that guy for everyone.

Matt brought a stability and strength to the house that everyone who passed through those doors relied on. He was the core of the house. It's pulse. He was the quick-thinking and thorough Lieutenant, firm but fair, strong and humble, and always there for anyone. He'd stick his neck out to protect everyone, because we were the only stable family he'd ever had in his life. He was the guy you could always count on to have your back. It was one of his best qualities and it was something that was deeply admired by all.

So I could easily feel everyone elses fear because I was feeling it too. It was bad. We knew it was bad. But we couldn't deal with losing him. We couldn't cope.

Soon Gabby recovers enough to pace the length of the wide walkway, fumbling with the bandage of her sprained wrist or tugging at her wild hair. The blood had dried on her jeans, her white shirt and the grey hoodie she was wearing. It was Matt's hoodie.

Shay's protests for her to sit were ignored, instead Gabby mutters back 'What's taking so long?' No one replies. No one has an answer. Or at least, we're too afraid to say what we're thinking.

Chief sits stoically beside Herrmann, his hands on his knees, his face void of any fear or shock. He was staying strong for us, but we'd known him long enough to know that he was just as afraid as the rest of us. Herrmann's talking quietly on the phone to Cindy, explaining why he's so late. He rubs his eyes sadly because he can't tell her if Matt's going to be okay or not. Mouch and Otis sit side by side, comforting each other with a mutual silence. Cruz notices Mills shaky hands and pats his knee, the act offering more comfort than words could. Mills accepts the gesture. Clarke hasn't said one word since we've arrived, his military background giving him experience in dealing with accidents like this. It's strange not seeing Capp with a large grin on his face, cheering everyone up. He's quiet too.

I sit beside Shay, both following Gabby's frantic movements with our eyes. I pull Shay into a one-armed hug, her soft sobs becoming apparent and kiss her head. She grasps my hand, "He has to be okay," she murmurs quietly enough for only me to hear. I press another kiss to her head - I can't reply.

From out of nowhere Antonio and Erin show up and they both hug Gabby who just bursts into tears as she tries to explain what happened. Chief steps in to explain. Antonio sees red and punches a wall. Gabby's wails pull him from his rage enough to comfort her.

Erin's soon by my side, intertwining her hands in mine. She looks up at me, her eyes sad, offering comfort and understanding.

"What's happening with that son of a bitch?" I growl hoarsely. If I got my hands on that bastard...

My question gained the attention of the others who looked to Erin for an answer, "He's been taken into custody. Arrested on attempted murder charges."

_Attempted murder. But it's only attempted for now. _

"Good, because that bastard-"

Erin shakes her head, "Kelly, no. Let's just focus on Matt right now," her words were enough to silence me and enough to bring my mind back from anger to worry.

"He's not in good shape Erin. There was a lot of blood and he was seizing in the ambo. It's serious - we still haven't heard from a doctor," I tell her, explaining my fears to her. She nods her head.

"Matt's strong," she squeezes my hand, "We have to believe that he can pull through this."

A sniffle from Shay brought my attention to her, "And he owes Kelly an ass-whooping because Kelly pranked him by spiking Matt's toothpaste with cayenne pepper the other day."

Despite everything, I heard quiet chuckles coming from the guys. Myself too.

"Gabby just sit down, wearing yourself out isn't going to do anyone any good," Antonio soothes with his arms extended to Gabby trying to halt her pacing, but she wasn't having any of it. She swats his hands away, "Matt wouldn't want this Gabby."

Her head snaps up to him and she yells loudly, "And neither did he want my crazy ex trying to kill him but look what happened!"

Antonio watches her for a moment before lifting his finger to point at her, "Gabriela Selena Dawson don't you dare..." he warns firmly.

_"Es mi culpa Antonio! Ray llegó aquí por mi culpa!" _Gabby shouts at Antonio in Spanish, reverting to the language because she was stressed.

Shay and I look to Erin for an explanation because Erin could understand a lot of Spanish. Erin sighs, "She's saying that it's her fault. That Ray wouldn't have been here if it weren't for her."

Antonio and Gabby begin arguing in Spanish, Gabby yelling her guilt and Antonio yelling his words of comfort. He wasn't getting far.

_"Por qué estoy bien cuando Matt no lo es?"_ Gabby cries quietly, her body to exhausted to fight any longer. Antonio murmurs, "No, Gabriela, no," before taking her sobbing body into his arms and cradling her.

"What did she say?" Shay asks with a low voice as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

"Why is she okay and Casey isn't..." Cruz replied with a tone of misery to his voice. The room looks up at Gabby, sympathy written across their faces. No one could imagine how grief-ridden she must feel, how easy in the next few hours or minutes, she could lose the person she loves most in this world.

Someone clears their voice. It's Kendra.

Everyone looks to her. We try to analyse her features. Is the news good or bad?

"Kendra?" Gabby stutters cautiously from Antonio's arms, fearing the worst.

"He's got an epidural hematoma... It's serious but he's young, healthy, most people just like him pull through this. But it's a serious injury and the surgery is risky, and it'll take while. We just have to be patient."

_Patient? How the hell could we be patient?_

Antonio sits Gabby down in a chair after noticing how her body practically limped in his arms, her knees almost buckling beneath her. It frightens me that her sobs seem to subside and she stares at the floor. But her inner turmoil was clear. Gabby was PIC and she knew more than most the dangers of Matt's injury. She knew how serious it was without the details from Kendra and she knew how easily everything could go wrong. She wraps her arms around her body in an attempt to hold herself together, but her silent tears betray her, slipping down her face and falling off her jaw.

An eery silence takes over the room once Kendra leaves after hugging Shay. Everyone in too much shock to speak. Or filled with crippling fear. Antonio coaxed Gabby into his side, securing his arms around her shoulders, and she rests her head against his. The tears keep falling. She doesn't wipe them away.

Chief steps out of the room and a few moments later he returns. He stands before us and slowly, our heads turn to him, his not returning to his seat catching our attention. He untangles his hands from each other and points out of the room, "Every thought... Every prayer... should be directed down that hallway. Matt needs to know that we're here for him... We do a dangerous job. We all knew that when we signed up... But you reach out to each other... You be there for each other... Always."

* * *

Two hours pass with no news. Eventually the wait becomes too much for Gabby. She storms out of the room. Antonio moves to follow her but I halt him and say that I'll go instead. For a moment I thought he'd argue with me, but after his nod of approval I slip out of the room.

Patience was never a virtue of Gabby's.

I find her angrily pestering some nurse about an update on Matt. Apologising to the nurse I pull Gabby away and let the nurse get on with her job, trying to ease Gabby who was fighting to get out of my grip.

"Get off me Kelly! It's been two hours - I can't wait any longer!" Gabby yells, her eyes wide with rage, fear and pain as she struggles out of my arms. I let her go feeling that it's what she needs.

I nod my head and try to be as calm as I could for her, "Come on... I need coffee," I call as I head for the elevator.

I could tell that she wanted to be anywhere but that waiting room so I wasn't concerned that Gabby wasn't going to follow. She does and slips into the elevator just as the doors began to close. The ride down to the cafeteria is quiet, her face almost expressionless but her eyes showing just how much her mind was thinking.

After telling Gabby to sit I order the coffees and join her at the table she'd chosen, a way away from anyone else. A mumble of 'thank you' is the first I hear from her after she'd yelled at me. Gabby takes one sip of the hot beverage before taking to staring at the white cup, turning it in her still shaky hands.

"He's going to be okay you know..."

Gabby looks up and shakes her head, "You can't say that for sure Kelly... He was seizing and completely out of it, he didn't hear anything that was being said. We kept trying to hold him down but he was fighting us and then he passed out..."

I reach over and take her hand in mine, tapping my thumb on her knuckles, "Hey, he's in good hands. Don't give up on him Gabs."

Her eyes snap up to mine, "I'm not," she bites out bitterly, "Kelly... I'm pissed. After everything we went through to be together and now this... and it wouldn't have even happened if it weren't for me."

"You're not at fault here Gabby and you damn well know it," I tell her firmly, engaging in a battle of wills when our stares locked together.

"If I'd never came home, never moved in with you guys, never fallen for Matt then he would've never been in this situation."

I roll my eyes and lean back in the chair, "Sure, we can do this..." I say flippantly, throwing my hand up in the air, "We can go through the 'what ifs' and you can sit there blaming yourself. But none of this will help Matt and _none_ of this your fault... Are you telling me you regret coming home? Falling for Matt? Finding 51? Are you saying that you regret it all?"

She's silent. Moments later tears glisten in her eyes before slowly, as if they were taking their time, falling down her flushed cheeks. She breaks eye contact, choosing to stare at the coffee cup in her hands, "I can't regret any of it because they are the best things ever to happen to me," she whispers so quietly it was a struggle to hear her. Gabby pauses, swallowing back another wave of tears threatening to spill, "I'm... I'm scared Kelly. He can't go... He just can't."

I tap her knuckles again and her brown eyes move from the coffee cup to me, watching and waiting for my next words, clinging to them as if they were her lifeline at this point. Maybe they were. Fear is a crippling emotion. And she was desperate.

So I tell Gabby the first thing that comes to me that I know will comfort her, "The other day when you and Shay went shopping and Matt and I were at home, we ended up talking about you... I asked him about what would he have done if you hadn't ever let him in. If you kept pushing him away. You know, I expected him to say something along the lines of '_we'd always be friends' _and that '_he'd always be there for you', _but it was neither... Matt said that no matter how far you went to keep him away, no matter how hard you fought, he'd go further and fight harder to be with you, because no matter what, he knew that you were the one... And if I wasn't sure about it before then I definitely was after he said that..."

"Sure of what?" She murmurs softly, completely captivated by my words.

I smiled, "That you two were gonna grow old and grey together in a big house with your ninety grandchildren, hosting 51 BBQs with our old asses and still bickering over who should wash and dry the dishes."

And somehow my words had made a difference. For the first time since we'd arrived, I saw hope in Gabby's eyes. She smiled too, despite the pain she was feeling, because she knew that what I'd said was right.

So we sat hand in hand comforting each other as we sipped our coffee. In the elevator Gabby hugged me and murmured a 'thank you', I kissed her head and returned the hug, hoping that when we reached our floor, her smiles hadn't been in vain.

The walk from the elevator to the waiting room was a short one and when the returned to everyone once more, something was different in the room compared to when we'd left. Allowing myself to trust my instincts, I wasn't too apprehensive when I asked, "Any news?"

Gabby, keen to analyse everyone's faces rather than pay attention to any words spoken, must have found something positive in her study of them by the way a sigh of relief escaped her lips. I too took in the expressions of the others and noted how the sad, worried eyes, the creases in foreheads, the shaky hands were gone and replaced with glistening eyes, smiles of relief and words of gratitude.

Chief approached with hands that he clasped on my shoulder and Gabby's, before he opened his mouth to say, "Doc just said that he's out of surgery and his outlook is positive. Not sure when he'll wake up yet, but it looks like Matt's going to be just fine."

Gabby overwhelmed with emotions of relief, gratitude and reassurance buckles against my arms. I feel her tears wetten my shirt as she cries into it, no longer out of pain or fear, but out of joy.

And finally, I let myself cry too.


	31. Chapter 31

**Hi you guys!**

**I'm back with another update for you! I hope you all enjoy this one!**

**And again, thank you all for your amazing and awesome reviews! They mean so much to me because it's great to know that there are people out there reading and becoming invested in my stories. The feeling is indescribable. I thank you all.**

**Again, please enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter with a review!**

**Love you all.**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Dawson**_

The large white bandage was the first thing that struck me about Matt's appearance. The second was how peaceful his bruised and cut-up face looked. Considering what he'd been through, I expected to see his face pained and distraught, but it was the complete opposite. Despite his injuries, Matt looked just as he would when I woke up in his arms every morning. _Blissfully calm and happy._

I watched his face intently as I sat beside his still body, finding a comfort in his warm large hand in mine. The left half of Matt's face was marred with small red cuts from the shattering glass from the car window, mainly surrounding his eyes and splattered on his cheek. The skin around his left eye was bruised, the deep purple a stark contrast to his pale cream skin.

"Oh baby," I murmur as I bring his hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles. The right side of his body was mainly untouched, the left side having taken most of the toll of the crash and along with his head injury, Matt's left wrist was broken and his left leg had a deep gash in it. I look down at the blood now dry on my shirt and jeans, remembering how the blood from his leg had stained my clothes as I pleaded for him to stay with me.

It was nearing 2pm, it was crazy to think that all this had happened in a mere six hours. Those six hours shouldn't have been spent in the hospital with Matt fighting for his life and us praying for it. Ray should have never come back. Ray should have never been here. Ray could havekilled Matt.

As tears glistened in my eyes I brush the blonde hair away from his bandage, only for it to drop back into place once more so I continue the action over and over, knowing that this calmed Matt awake or asleep. I wasn't sure how much time passed as I sat with him but I didn't mind, I sat and brushed my hands through his hair, kissing his hands and hoping that he knew I was here.

With the taste of salty tears on my lips I speak the words that had been forming in my throat since the crash, "I'm so sorry Matt, I'm sorry I brought Ray into your life and that..." I take in his injured state again, "he did this to you."

"Gabs if he was awake to hear you say that you know exactly what he'd say back," Kelly's voice startled me, I hadn't heard him come in and my body jerked as it turned towards him.

"Jesus Kelly," I gasped, "Did you creep in here or what?"

He approaches the bed, he'd visited earlier when I first came to see Matt, but he'd left a while later to give everyone an update. Kelly eases himself into the seat on the other side of the bed, his face tired, "Don't change the topic... you can't blame yourself for what happened Gabby."

I swallow thickly and without taking my eyes off Matt's face I replied, "Matt must have seen the car coming, his arm came out across me... even in that moment his first thought was to protect me Kelly..."

"It's because he loves you," Kelly said with a strong voice, "And if he could hear the way that you're talking he'd kick your ass."

I look Kelly in the eyes when I say, "But he couldn't deny that Ray wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for me."

"And yet still not your fault. Guilt doesn't suit you Gabby, stop this," Kelly demanded firmly, his eyes smouldering with the look of determination burning in them.

"If this was you and Erin you'd feel the same way Kelly, I can't keep watching Matt get hurt because of me... He deserves so much more than this," I mutter bitterly, unable to ignore Matt's very serious injuries, "They drilled a hole in his head for fuck sake... It's not supposed to be this way."

"Then walk away and tell me that he'll be happier without you, that you'll be happier without Matt."

"This isn't about happiness Kelly," I choke out, painful tears streaming down my face as my throat clenched tightly with emotions.

"No this about you understanding that you can't control everything, never mind the actions of your drunken ex. Ray chose to do this and Matt is in here because of him, _not _because of you."

I nod but I can't do much other than succumb to the tears and sobs wracking through me. I bury my face in my hand, "Just...how did this happen..." I cry quietly, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of Matt's hoodie, the dull coppery smell of dried blood filling my nose.

I hear the squeak of Kelly's chair moving across the floor before seconds later his arms enclosed my body as he knelt beside me, allowing me to sob into his shoulder. "It's going to be okay Gabs, Matt's going to be okay," Kelly soothes with a soft voice, pressing a kiss to my head.

When my tears run dry I remove my head from his shoulder and somehow find myself smiling at Kelly, who chuckled as he saw my lips pulled upwards.

"Is your funny five minutes over now?" Kelly says with a playful tone in his voice, but yet behind the fun was a hint of seriousness because he wanted me to stop with my train of thought.

I nod and turn my head back to Matt, who still lay as peaceful as ever, oblivious to everything around him. Kelly nudged my knee, "You'll soon be regretting wanting him awake when he's back to annoying you."

I swat his chest and tease him with, "_You're_ the annoying one, you're a bad influence on him."

He fakes his insult with a shocked face but he can't give no snarky reply as Shay comes in with a look of motherly concern on her face. She makes her way over to Matt's bed and eyes me with worry yet determination in her eyes, "I just spoke to the nurse. They're not expecting Matt to wake up for at least another hour and you need to eat something. You can come to the cafeteria with me and Kelly will stay with Matt, Chief wants to come check on him too."

As Kelly saw that I was preparing to argue with her he raised a dark brow at me, "Go eat something Gabs. I promise to come get you if Matt wakes up."

I warn him with a glare as Shay pulls me from the room.

* * *

Shay shoves a sandwich across the table and into my hands, "Eat," she demands with a tone that she wasn't to be messed with.

I roll my eyes and unwrap the savoury from its packaging, taking a big bite to satisfy Shay, who was eying me incessantly. I noticed a few people giving me second glances and even for a hospitals' standards, I realised how rough I must have looked. My clothes were stained with dark red blood, my forehead had a 3cm long gash on it, my wrist was bandaged, my hair was wild and I was probably still fairly pale.

"Do I look that bad?" I ask Shay after noticing the stares.

Shay shrugs, "It's a hospital. You blend in pretty well."

"I don't think so," I mutter, trying to ignore everything but Shay and me, "I probably look as awful as I feel."

"Well it's almost Halloween, pretend you're trying out your costume," Shay says with a grin before bursting into laughter.

I glare at her and hiss, "That's not funny Shay," but the more I thought about it and the more she laughed, I burst out laughing too.

Chairs around our little silver table squeaked across the floor and I looked up to see Mills, Cruz and Clarke sit down around us. Otis, Mouch and Capp were at the counter, ordering coffees and muffins. They all looked tired too, after shift had finished everyone usually heads home to get a few hours sleep before continuing with their day, but today that was impossible. But despite their exhaustion they were full of smiles, relief sparkling in their eyes as they were content with the information that their Lieutenant, friend, brother, was going to be just fine.

"Sorry to interrupt girl talk, but we're starving," Cruz grinned as he sat down beside me.

I waved my hand, "Nothing interesting here... Where's Herrmann?" I asked just as Mills called over to Otis to not drop their coffees as he waddled to the table with the cups in his shaky hands.

"He stayed. Wasn't leaving Casey - he went to see him with Chief," Clarke answered with his usually calm and neutral tone, but his eyes shone with a silent comfort.

"And Erin and Antonio? Are they still here?"

"They were called in. Antonio said that they'll check in soon with an update on Ray," Mills replied almost sheepishly and my entire body flinched at the mention of Ray.

His name threw me back to 8am this morning. The crunching sound of metal on metal. The force of my body being thrown sideways. The screeching of tires on the tarmac. The coppery smell of blood. Matt's warm arm across my chest.

"Dawson?"

"Gabs?"

"Gabby!"

The voices shook me away from the deep corners of my mind that housed the memories of today. I look wide-eyed at them, noticing that Otis, Mouch and Capp had now joined us, supplying everyone coffee and food.

"Yeah, what?" I mutter asking them to repeat whatever was said.

Shay looked at me with concern, "You were elsewhere just then."

I shake my head, trying to shake away the remnants of my day-dream, "Sorry, day-dreaming. What did you say?"

"Kelly just called, Matt's awake," she states but I was out of my seat before she could finish her sentence. I could hear her chair scrape against the floor as she rushed to follow me and she joined me as I was pressing the button to the elevator relentlessly.

"Ah, turtle doves," I heard Mouch say to the guys just as the elevator doors closed.

* * *

**_Kelly_**

"He doesn't look as bad as I was expecting," Chief gruffs as he and Herrmann enter in the room, taking in Matt's beaten up and bandaged form.

"Looks like he's sleeping," Herrmann uttered with an unsettled tone. He'd always been a big brother to Matt and he'd been with Matt throughout his entire career as a firefighter, from Candidate to Lieutenant. He'd experienced every high and low that Matt had first hand and he'd helped him through it all, guiding him. So it was only natural for him to be this concerned, only happy with Matt's condition after witnessing it for himself.

"Yeah," I murmured from the chair beside Matt's bed, "nurse said he should be awake soon though and then he'll be rattling us about getting back to work."

"He can rattle all he likes, he'll have as much time off as the doctors order and then some," Chief chuckled lowly, knowing just as well as I did how much Matt would hate being sidelined until he was cleared by the doctors.

"First thing he'll ask for is Gabby," Herrmann grinned, "_Then_ he'll ask about work."

I nod my head at him, "Okay, I'll give you that one."

"Do you think Gabby and he are going to be okay? I mean, with her blaming herself with this Ray guy and everything..." Herrmann trails off, rubbing the back of his neck.

Chief watched Matt, "They're too strong to be beaten by this."

"And Matt won't let her blame herself, they'll be okay," I added, knowing just how much Matt would work to get Gabby to stop blaming herself.

"What's happening with that guy anyway?"

"Erin said he's in custody, he'll be questioned once he sobers up," I growl angrily, wishing to get my hands on the son of a bitch for just one moment.

"Questioning should be the last thing on the list," Herrmann mutters harshly, finally quitting pacing a taking a chair.

We sit with Matt and talk quietly about small things, just trying to pass time and trying to take our minds of what had happened. Herrmann talked about Cindy and his four children, Leon, Lee-Henry, Tom and baby Jessica. Leon, the eldest at aged 9, was a keen footballer and a 'hell raiser' as Herrmann called him. Lee-Henry aged 7 was mischievous and playful with him constantly playing pranks on his father and siblings. Tom aged 4 was the quietest child, taking from Cindy with his calming and quiet qualities, loved reading and playing with jigsaws. Jessica now just a month and a half old, was giving them many sleepless night but Herrmann didn't mind because she was absolutely beautiful and had him wrapped around her little finger already.

Stirring from the bed brought our attention back to Matt lying in the bed. I watched as his forehead creased and a grunt of consciousness slipped from his mouth. Matt's eyes eased open slowly as he woke and once he'd caught his bearings he muttered, "Gabby... Gabby..."

I stand up and place my hands on his shoulders as he was trying to sit up. Herrmann excused himself to get the nurse and doctors, smiling to himself as he'd left as Matt had called for Gabby first, just like he'd said.

"Hey bud, Matt, she's fine. Take it easy, Gabby's fine," I sooth him calmly as he fought for a moment, before processing my words and lying still against the pillows.

Matt watched me, asking for a better explanation, "She's got a sprained wrist and a cut on her forehead and besides the initial shock, she's perfectly fine... It's you that we've all been worried about."

"What happened?" Matt muttered hoarsely, his voice dry and scratchy.

"Ray crashed into your truck, do you remember that?" I ask and Matt nods slowly, "Well when you got to the hospital you were in bad shape. They had to perform emergency brain surgery - you had an epidural hematoma, but you're gonna be completely fine. Few weeks off work, but fine."

A moment passes and we remain silent, allowing Matt to process the information he'd been given. Seconds later he swallows and says, "Was Gabby there?"

I nod and I understand the worry in his eye, "Yeah bud, she didn't leave your side and she hasn't since you've been out of surgery. Shay had to drag her downstairs to get something to eat."

Matt frowns and the creases in his forehead return, "What time is it?"

Chief glances at his watch, "Almost four pm," he answers quietly.

"Can you call her?" Matt asks almost timidly, a yearning to see that she was okay for himself and I guess, just to see her. She was the reason behind the spark in his eye after all.

I nod my head and smirk at him, "Yeah sure bud, just don't tell her I didn't call her as soon as you woke up. She'll kill me."


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey guys!**

**Thank you all for your awesome reviews! Keep 'em coming!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! And if any of you have any suggestions I'd be happy to hear them!**

**Love you all.**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**Casey**_

After Kelly hang up the phone the wait to see Gabby was unbearable. I stared at the door and forced myself to stay awake, no matter how much my eyes wanted to close because of the drugs I was on. I needed to see her, needed to see that she was okay and well and... I just needed to see those big brown eyes. And then everything would be right with the world.

"Maybe you can take it easy for a while now Lieutenant," Herrmann chortles as he re-enters the room after saying that the doctor was on his way.

I grunt with annoyance, "Being off work is going to be anything but easy."

Kelly and Chief chuckle humorously, "Time goes quicker when you don't complain about it," Kelly said with a gentle teasing in his voice.

"Come here and let me bash your head and see how you like time off work," I grumble at him with a raised brow, to which he only rolls his eyes too.

I glance up at the clock on the wall, 4:13pm, and the waiting for Gabby only reminded me of the night at the bar. The night that had changed everything for Gabby and I. The night where she officially became mine and I hers.

And just as I was about to ask Kelly to call Shay again, Gabby burst through the door, her eyes wide, her hair wild and still looking as beautiful as ever. I was shocked to see her clothes soaked with dried blood, _my_ blood, and to see the bandage around her wrist when I remembered that Kelly said she'd sprained it. The cut that he'd described was just above her eyebrow and it looked red and sore. She paused for a moment catching her bearings, with her brown orbs watching me intently, before she murmured, "Oh Matt," and rushed to my side.

Gabby quickly buried her face in my neck and wrapped her arms around my body as tightly as she could, as I lifted my hand to rest on her back, holding her warm body close to mine. I was instantly comforted by her presence, calmed that she was here. After I'd kissed her hair, I noticed how the room was now empty besides us. She lifted her head from my neck to look me in the eyes and I saw just how much I'd frightened her before she leaned down to kiss my lips longingly.

"I love you so much Matt. I love you more than anything," she murmurs desperately, clutching my hands tightly but comfortingly in her own, "And I'm sorry, so sorry for everything."

"What?" I ask with a deep confusion, bringing my hand up to cup her warm cheek, "What have you got to be sorry for?"

Gabby bows her head and waves her hand at my bed and the machines, "This. Ray."

I was worried that this would happen, "Hey," I whisper, lifting her chin with my finger, "This wasn't your fault. You don't have to feel guilty over something that you couldn't control."

She nods and wipes away the tears in her eyes, "How are you feeling? How bad does your head hurt?"

"I feel completely wiped out, but my head isn't too bad. I think I'm dosed up on painkillers," I smile at her, bringing her hand to my lips.

"I should hope so..." she mutters quietly, smiling softly as I kissed her hand.

The doctor then comes in and talks about the surgery, my recovery and how long they expected me to be in here. The surgery went as well as it could and relieved all the pressure on my brain, the wound in my leg should heal fairly quickly and I should be in hospital for at least a week. It'd be off work for at least another six, something I definitely wasn't happy about, but I'd make a full recovery soon enough. He soon left, saying that I should rest and that he'd be back in a few hours, and Gabby perched herself comfortably beside me.

"I was seizing?" I question timidly, nervous of her answer.

Gabby frowns and nod, "Yeah, just as we got you in the ambo and you didn't stop until we got you here. It was bad - you really scared me."

"I'm sorry that you had to see that, but I'm here now. I'm fine. I promise I'm not going anywhere," I assure her with a strong voice, squeezing her hand tightly.

"You better not," she grumbles as she brushes her hand through my hair.

"How could I when I have the most beautiful girl by my side?"

Gabby laughs and rolls her eyes teasing me with, "How much morphine did they give you?"

* * *

It was good to be home. Even if Gabby was badgering me about every little thing, it was good to finally be back in our apartment after a damned week at the hospital. I walked, however slowly, to the sofa and sat down, glad to be sat in anything but that hospital bed. Gabby rushes back down to her car to get my bag and medication - she'd left them there despite my argument that I was okay to walk without her help, leaving Kelly and Shay with me.

"How about we order pizza? I'm starved," Shay suggests as Kelly sits down beside me and turns on the TV to the sports channel.

My stomach growled at the mention of food, "Pizza would be amazing," I respond, desperate for something other than hospital food. Shay smiles and goes to find her phone to order.

"Good to be home huh?" Kelly grinned as I propped my feet up on the coffee table and got comfortable.

I nodded my head, "Yeah. That hospital was killing me."

Throughout the week I'd gotten stronger and stronger, each day feeling better than the last. Gabby hardly left the hospital, only when I forced her to go home and get some proper rest. She'd used a few of her furlow days to stay with me whilst the others where on shift. Kelly and Shay took turns in staying when Gabby went home and everyone from the house visited a few times too. A few of the nights where we'd sent Gabby home I'd wake to find her curled up in a chair beside the bed, head in her hand and sleeping and I guessed that I could begrudge her this because I know I'd do the same. Then yesterday I was given the all clear to come home today and I had counted down the hours until the doctor discharged me.

Gabby then shuffled through the door with my bag in one hand and my medication in the other, muttering to herself, "Is that everything?"

"I'm sure it is Gabs, come and sit down. Chill out," Kelly laughed at her, waving her over to us. She looked up, paused, sighed, place down what she was carrying and shuffled to sit down between Kelly and I. Shay then settled in the armchair saying that pizza was on its way.

Gabby snuggled into my side as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and then her nose wrinkled with distaste, "What?" I asked curiously.

"You stink of hospital," she groaned unhappily and I laughed in reply, "I'll go take a shower after dinner."

"But you stink now," Gabby protested.

"Sorry, but food takes priority on this one."

I saw out of the corner of my eye Shay shaking her head, "What?"

"You two lovebirds," Shay pointed at us, "It's so cute it's sickening."

I didn't have to see Gabby's face as she laid her head on my shoulder to see that she rolling her eyes at her, "Thanks Shay, though I don't think it's much of a compliment," Gabby chuckled lowly.

"Gabs, what did Antonio say when you called him earlier?" Kelly asked.

"He's plead guilty to the charges so they're just waiting for his sentencing," Gabby replies quietly, but this wasn't news to me. She'd told me earlier when we were still at the hospital.

Kelly nods his head and mutters bitterly, "Well least the bastard can do one thing right."

"That's for sure," I comment and I feel the clutch that Gabby had on my shirt tighten just the slightest.

Food arrived a short time later and it wasn't long before I'd devoured my pizza, starved from the long hospital stay. As soon as I'd finished I headed to the shower as Gabby had glared at me, but I was eager to take a long hot shower to ease the tension in my muscles. And the hot water did exactly that.

Gabby knocked on the door calling, "Matt? There's some towels here for you," but she knew that I already had towels, what she was really asking was if I was okay.

I smile to myself, "Thanks, just bring them in," I said and the door opened then, Gabby slipping inside.

I pop my head around the blue shower curtain, "Care to join me?" I ask as she sets the towels down on the toilet seat. She turns her head to me with a smile, "I thought you'd never ask."

Gabby quickly undresses and moments later she pulls back the shower curtain and steps in beside me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I pulled her warm body against mine, kissing her head as I felt her relax against mine. She untangled her hair from its clip and shook the dark locks out, allowing them to get wet under the shower's spray. As I cradled her beautiful body in my arms Gabby looked up at me with those big brown eyes and murmured, "A week ago I thought that I'd never feel you like this again and look at us now..."

I kiss her wet forehead, "I wasn't going anywhere."

She rests her hands on my chest, "I wasn't sure of that baby... I love you, you know that right?"

I smile down at her and watch as her eyes sparkle at me, "Well I thought that you were in this just for the free sex," I tease playfully, hoping to lighten her mood and get her mind off the events of the past week. My plan seemed to work as Gabby scoffed, swatted my arm and chuckled, "Unfortunately, you over-estimate yourself Matthew Casey."

"Oh do I really?" I mutter as I press a kiss to her head, curling my hands around her waist, "...No Gabby of course I know you love me. And I love you too, and I promise that I'm never leaving you whether you like it or not."

Gabby looks up at me with raised brows, "Too bad I want you to leave then..." she drawls off playfully whilst running her hands along my shoulders and then my upper back.

"Sure looks like it," I murmur quietly as her hands relaxed me and she watched with a smile on her face.

"So what do you plan to do with your recovery time?"

I huff exasperated, "Don't even remind me," as I watched Gabby massage shampoo into her hair as I grabbed my shower gel.

Gabby rolls her eyes as her hair soon disappeared under a blanket of soapy bubbles, "It'll go quicker than you think Matt, but you need this time to recover properly."

"I'm sure six weeks is an over-exaggeration," the words grumbled out of my mouth, being off work was going to really annoy me and it'd be hard visiting the firehouse and hearing the alarm go without being able to go with everyone.

"Over-exaggeration my ass," Gabby growled angrily, glaring up at me with those fierce brown eyes that I fell in love with.

"Hey," I sooth as she tips her head back against the water to wash out the shampoo, and I place my hand on her hip, "I know you're worried okay? And you have every right to be. It's just that I'm going to really hate being off work, no matter how long it is... But I'm not taking for granted the fact that I'm still here with you. I could never take that for granted."

"Don't," she whispers letting her hands drop to her sides, "I can't talk about you not being here, _ever. _Just thinking about it... This whole thing is so messed up. You should've never have been-"

I press my lips firmly against hers, stopping her from saying her next words because I knew that they'd be full of guilt, "I don't want to hear those words because they're not true and I'll tell you everyday for the rest of our lives if I have too. What happened wasn't your fault. Me getting hurt wasn't your fault either. None of it was your fault."

Gabby sighs and brushes her hands through my wet hair which made it stick up madly, "What did I do to deserve you huh?"

I grin again, hoping to cheer her up with, "Well this ass had something to do with it," I chuckle, swatting her ass lightly and watching as a squeak escaped her lips.

Gabby raises a dark brow at me, "Don't push your luck Matthew Casey."


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey guys! **

**Again, I can not thank you more for all your kind words and reviews! I'm glad you're all still interested in this story, it's a wonderful journey!**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**Also, if any of you have an idea of where you'd like to see this story go, or would like to see something written, just pop me a review or message and I'll be happy to oblige!**

**Love you all.**

**Enjoy!**

**oxoxo**

* * *

**_Casey_**

"I can feel that 'look of death' of yours burning the back of my head and if I turn around and see the scowl of the century on your face, I'm gonna kick your ass Matthew Casey," Gabby growled with annoyance as she pulled her work trousers up over her hips, her back facing me.

I don't know why she was annoyed, _I _was the one who was entering week four of my six weeks off work. I lay in bed with a hand behind my head, missing Gabby's warmth as she'd jumped out of a bed just moments ago to get ready for work.

She turned around just as she was clasping her bra into place with an eyebrow raised and a look in her eye that dared me to challenge her. I would have still been annoyed hadn't it been for this look on her face that I always found completely adorable, so she melted my annoyance into a grin upon my face.

"What?" Gabby huffed as she placed her hands upon her hips, a tad exasperated with my sudden mood change from pissy to happy.

I scanned her form, wild hair, big eyes, flushed cheeks, pursed lips, smooth mocha skin, black bra, slender stomach, hands on hips, and only smiled further. She was mindblowingly beautiful.

"You," I answered back simply, "You're amazing."

She rolled her eyes but the pursed lips eased into a smile she couldn't help, "And you're such a sweet talker."

As she pulled on her t-shirt and came around the bed to collect her phone, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to my lips. I smiled against her warm skin and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her down onto the bed with me. Gabby squealed in surprised as her body effortless moulded perfectly against mine.

"I have work," she muttered against my neck but making no effort to move out of my arms.

"I wish I did too," I said back and watched as she lifted her head to look at me.

"Two more weeks," Gabby assured, kissing my jaw, "and you'll be back at work, and you'll be fighting fit, but until then you're gonna follow doctors orders and get better."

"_You're_ orders," I smirk back and her jaw drops and she swats my chest.

"In that case Matthew, when I get home tomorrow morning at 9am sharp I expect to find you in this bed well rested and waiting..." Gabby teases as she jumps out of the bed and rushes towards the door.

"Waiting for what?" I call as she slips through the door, suddenly high frustrated and desperate for her.

Gabby pops her head back through the door, "Oh I'm sure you can figure it out," she says smugly with a wink before disappearing.

A few moments later I hear the front door slam as Kelly, Shay and Gabby headed to work, leaving me high and dry and yearning for her.

* * *

I occupied myself with trying to follow a recipe on cooking the 'perfect' meat loaf and whilst I didn't think it turned out 'perfect', I certainly did better than I was expecting. After I was finished I couldn't even bring myself to watch more tv, after spending most of my days as of late doing so. Instead I decided to keep myself with assembling the new drawer set for the living room, despite Gabby's earlier warnings of doing so would mean an ass whooping. But the drawer set had been sat untouched for nearly two weeks now and knowing that Kelly would never get round to it before I was 'better', I began work.

At 2pm the door knocked just as I had began assembling the wooden frame and almost begrudgingly, I headed to the door. I was surprised to find Antonio on the other side.

"Hey man," I greeted, "You wanna come in?"

Antonio nodded and stepped inside, allowing me to close the door him. After noticing what I was doing, Antonio turned to me with an amused expression on his face. I held my hands up in mock defense, "Just don't tell your sister."

"She'll notice when she gets home," Antonio laughed and seated himself on the sofa.

"It'll be finished then," I chuckled as I placed myself back on the floor beside the wooden mess of pieces of furniture.

"How you doing? Gabby says you're going crazy with this time off," Antonio started and I raised my brows at his words.

"I am... It's a bummer being stuck here and while I know she means well, Gabby's always worried which is a little annoying sometimes."

Antonio only nodded his head in understanding, "Laura was the same when I got injured and it drove me crazy being off work... but it's better to have them worry about us than have no one."

I give a small smile of agreement, "She was really afraid that I wasn't going to be here... I guess she still is..." I don't carry on because I didn't know what to say, I hadn't even realised the words I was saying until they were already spoken.

"You know more than anyone how she's scared that those she loves will leave her," Antonio says quietly, his hands folded in his lap.

I look up at him, "I'm not leaving her Antonio," I tell him with a strong voice.

He laughs, "I know that man, she has you wrapped around her little finger."

"And you also," I added and Antonio pauses, before showing his clear agreement with a deep chuckle.

"I've been meaning to ask you," Antonio begins a while later after we talked about small things as he helped me work more on the drawer set, "It's Gabby 25th birthday in a few weeks and I was thinking about throwing her a surprise party?"

"Sounds great. She'll definitely love it... I can get Shay and Kelly to help out too."

"Shay?" Antonio questioned with a smirk.

After thinking about it I corrected myself with, "Thinking about it, Shay's awful at keeping secrets. We'll keep her in the dark."

* * *

_**Dawson**_

"Shay you're absolutely atrocious at keeping secrets!" I shrieked at Shay as the guys sat around us at the table laughing.

"What?!" Shay yelled to defend herself, "You were seventeen, its old news!"

"Exactly! I was seventeen and dumb!"

Herrmann nudged my arm with a red face from laughter, "No Dawson, you were seventeen and drunk!"

I swatted his arm, "It's not funny!"

"No Dawson," Otis chuckled, "It's hysterical!"

"Look, we've all done some pretty stupid things whilst drunk. I'm not the only one," I pout whilst glaring at Shay.

"But you're the only one who has painted themselves blue at the 3 in the morning because they felt that smurfs were a minority that needed a bigger population," Kelly teases me as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

I shrug him off, "We should be protecting minorities Kelly, smurfs included," I winked back at him, swatting his hand away as he stole some of my m&ms.

"Hey!" I complain loudly, "Get your own!"

"Food always tastes better when it's stolen," Kelly laughs teasingly, popping a candy into his smirking mouth.

"I hope you choke," I growl at him with an angry glare.

"Better not let Boden hear you say that," Kelly answers.

I poke my tongue out at him, "He likes me better."

"No, he likes _me _better."

Herrmann gets up and wanders towards the fridge grumbling, "God, do I work in a nursery or a firehouse?... It's like being at home."

* * *

"So," Shay starts with a suggestive look in her eye and wiggling her brows, "Sounds like you and Matt had fun the other night..."

My cheeks turned bright pink instantly, "What?" I answer coyly, pretending to be oblivious to what she was talking about.

Shay slaps the steering wheel as we head back to 51 from Chicago Med, "You know exactly what I'm talking about! _'Oh Matt!'_..." She mock moans, trying to interpret my voice. I buried my face in my hands.

"Okay! Okay! Stop!" I plead loudly before sighing, "I thought you weren't home? You were supposed to be with Kendra-"

Shay rolls her eyes, "She got called in on an emergency so I came home... Don't worry, I went straight to bed and used earplugs," Shay giggled, finding it funny that I was so embarrassed.

"God Shay..." I grumbled with my hands covering my eyes, "You have impeccable timing, you know that right?"

"Oh hush," Shay tuts, "You guys are like the perfect couple. Great sex, actually talk to each other, argue just enough, love each other unconditionally, know each other more than you know yourselves..."

"Is it weird that I don't fear it? That only after a few months of dating that I can say it's the happiest I've ever been? Is it too soon to be saying stuff like that?" I questioned anxiously, _was I seeing my version of reality and not the true version?_

Shay smiled knowingly, as if she was clued in to something I was not, "No, of course not. You're happier than ever and so is Matt. That much is clear to everyone... Does it feel right to you?"

I can only nod with a confidence I'd never really had before now, "Then why question it? If we end up contemplating everything we do in life we'll never get very far or actually _live._.. Besides, there's never such a thing as 'too soon'."

Shay pats my knee before silencing, allowing me to think through what she'd said and come to realise that her words were as honest as any. I was as happy as I have ever been and happier than I ever imagined myself ever feeling, so why question this feeling? It feels right, so wonderfully, magnificently right that questioning my feelings would have no purpose.

_All I know is and all I'm content with knowing is that I'm in love with Matt, forever will be, and that he's in love with me too._

* * *

When Shay, Kelly and I arrived home the next morning at 9am, I padded upstairs to find Matt sound asleep in my bed. Smiling to myself I closed the door behind me and crept across the room before sliding off my boots and climbing in beside him. I cuddled to his warm bare chest as his hand came to unconsciously rest on my hip as a sigh escaped his lips peacefully.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at his beautiful form. Half opened mouth deep in slumber, not a crease on his face because of how peaceful he was, his skin pale but his cheeks flushed slightly, his hair sticking up in all directions because of the way he slept. Matt was utterly beautiful and watching him sleep, made me fall in love with him all over again.

As I brushed my hands through his unruly blonde hair and pressed a dainty kiss to his lips, I was surprised when his responded to mine. He moaned quietly as he pulled my body tightly against his and whispered sleepily, "Best way to wake up," against my lips.

I laughed lightly, "I'm glad it is."

Matt opens those bright blue eyes and my heart melted. How could he look at me like it was for the first time every time he looked at me? Like he was falling in love with me all over again each time he opened his eyes and saw me?

Then he frowned as he looked down between us, "What?" I murmured with confusion.

"You're wearing clothes," he states with complaint clear in his voice.

"Yes..." I stammer with a confused chuckle, "I've just got home from work."

Matt smiles wickedly as presses his lips firmly to mine as his hands cup my waist and lift me onto his body as he rolled to lie flat. I squeaked against his lips and the only response I got was, "I don't like it when you wear clothes..."

So he soon saw to the that and within minutes, our bodies lay flush with each other's, not a single piece of clothing obstructing our touch. Matt sits with me in his lap straddling his hips, his lips quickly taking to my neck, pressing yearning kisses at every inch of skin. I clutched at the ends of his hair, pulling him close. His large warm hands moved across my back, massaging my lower back to release the tension put there by work.

I hummed at his actions and laid my head on his shoulder, purring as his thumbs kneaded the muscles just above my butt.

"I missed you," Matt murmurs into my neck wistfully as I kiss the skin on his shoulder.

I lift my head at his words and smile, cupping his jaw with my hand and brushing my lips against his, "I missed you too..."

"You know," Matt smiled suggestively, "I am well rested and I am waiting," he says, referring to what I'd said yesterday.

"Oh baby I haven't forgotten," I drawl as I push his body down onto the bed and with a mischievous smirk I watch as his eyes widen with desire and his body reacts to my every little touch.

Within minutes, I had Matt moaning my name desirably, his senses overwhelmed and I watched on, thinking that this man was mine and I was his, and that was all I wanted.


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey guys! **

**I'm so happy that you're all hanging in there with me and still enjoying this story! It means more to me than you may know, but nevertheless I'm glad you're all still here!**

**Thank you for the fantastic reviews!**

**Love you all!**

**oxoxox**

* * *

_**C**__**asey **_

"First day back!" Gabby sang in her sing-song voice as she stood in the shower and I stood at the sink shaving.

I smile at her voice, "You seem more excited than me babe," I reply as I watch her pop her head around the shower curtain, her eyes glistening happily at me.

"Well I know how much you've hated this time off and I know how much 51 means to you... And besides, we've all really missed you," Gabby smiles genuinely before disappearing behind the misty curtain once more.

"Is that code for you saying that you've missed our office time?" I tease playfully, hearing her scoff and squeak.

"You're so single-minded Matthew Casey!"

"Like you're objecting!"

Once more, she pops her head around the shower curtain this time with an amused grin and hair full of soapy shampoo, "I'm not objecting, but what I am wondering is that if you can handle me after all this time."

I raise my brow at her, "I'll spend my entire life trying to handle you Gabriela Dawson, but you're damn straight I'm gonna try."

My words struck Gabby with more seriousness than humor and I watched as her eyes welled, but not out of sadness or upset, out of pure relief. Frowning, I strip off my sweatpants and step into the shower with her, seeing how she scrutinized my every move as I approached her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to my chest, murmuring into her ear, "You've got to see that I'm not going anywhere, ever, Gabby. I'm yours forever and there's not a damn thing that anyone or even you for that matter, can do to change that. You're my girl."

Those big brown eyes gazed up at me, "I'm sorry that you have to keep reassuring me..."

I smile softly and kiss her head, "I'll continually tell you how much I love you everyday if it makes you feel better, but baby, I promise you that I'm not going anywhere. But if one day, you can look at me and be throughly assured, then well... I'll know I've done my job."

She reached her small hand up and brushed the little ends of hair away from my forehead, "I wonder what I would've done if I hadn't of met you..."

"Well you certainly wouldn't have fallen on your ass the day I met you," I chuckle lightly watching as her eyes shone with reminiscence.

"I wouldn't have fallen for you either," Gabby murmurs just loud enough for me to hear over the noise of the water pouring down on us.

"Then I'm certainly glad that we met," I whisper as I press her small body against the tiles, hearing her gasp at the cold contact. She slides her hands over my shoulders to rest at the back of my neck as I take her lips with my own.

Gabby moans as I run the tip of my tongue along her lower lip and our bare bodies were pressed so tightly together that not a sliver of air could come between us. Our kisses soon became deeper and more needy, our hands soon wandering over our slippery skin. A moment of coherence between us came when Gabby unintentionally ran her thumb along the scar at the base of my skull.

She seemed to freeze. My lips left hers for the briefest of moments as I rest my forehead against hers and I saw the worry in her eyes, "Just promise me that you'll try to be safe."

Nodding slowly I answer, "I promise you."

And so she took my lips once more and the world around us disappeared until it was just Gabby and I, and our love for each other.

* * *

"It's good to have you back Lieutenant!" Herrmann clapped my back as we pulled off our turnouts and wiped the sweat from our faces.

"Hear hear," Cruz cheered as he honked the horn of 81 before jumping out.

"It's good to be back guys," I chuckle at them as we move to the break room for lunch.

"As Lt. you're obliged to say that..." Otis grumbled, still moaning from the drills I ran this morning.

"I'm not obliged to say anything," I laugh, taking a seat beside Kelly at the table.

I hear Gabby scoff on the other end, "Don't let him fool you guys, he didn't once stop complaining about missing this place."

When the guys began to laugh at her words I shrugged, "All lies, I can assure you."

"Nah," Herrmann gruffed as he reached over to ruffle my hair, "You love us man, admit it."

Whilst the rowdy bunch waited for Mills to finish with lunch I watched Gabby for a moment as she sat with Capp, Clarke and Shay, laughing beautifully over something Capp was saying. Then I was distracted by Kelly slapping my head with his newspaper, "What?" I exclaimed quietly as I turned to face him.

Kelly chuckled and leaned in closer to me saying with a hushed voice, "Well I may or may not have outed Gabby's surprise party to Shay."

"Kelly-"

"Hey she promised to keep it on the DL. And besides, she was bound to find out when you told the guys..." Kelly said almost sheepishly, loud enough for Otis, Cruz and Herrmann to hear and raise their brows at him.

"Don't blame this on us when you told Shay! And Casey needed our help... Do you think Shay can keep it quiet until tomorrow?" Cruz asked with a magazine against his face to hide the fact that he was talking to us from Gabby.

"She said she would," Kelly muttered as we spotted the lower end of the table staring at us with confusion.

Gabby shook her head, "Like a bunch of old gossips... You all look like you're attending a mother's meeting."

"Dawson you know you're dying to know what we're talking about..." Herrmann chuckled at her.

She raised a brow, "I'd rather not. Really."

And then Mills called that lunch was ready and everyone rushed to the kitchen, and I smiled at how good it felt to be back.

* * *

"Are we nearly there?" Gabby laughed nervously as my hands still covered her eyes as I was leading her into her surprise birthday party.

"Nearly," I replied. She thought that I was taking her out for dinner which was the brilliant cover as we were both able to leave the apartment dressed up without causing her suspicion.

"Is it really necessary for you to blind me Matt?"

I chuckled, "It's necessary."

I led her through Antonio's friend's hotel, who kindly gave us the party room at a great discount, and towards the door where Shay was giving me the thumbs up. I nod at her and she disappears into the room.

"You're really enjoying this aren't you?" Gabby teased as I walked her into the room towards the crowd of friends and family watching.

"I am," I answered and pulled my hands away from her eyes, watching as her eyes lit up at all her loved ones standing there cheering "SURPRISE!"

"Guys..." Gabby mumbled with her jaw hitting the floor, "Wow, thank you..." she says with shock as everyone laughs and people move to hug her saying 'Happy birthday Gabby!'

Antonio greets his sister with extended arms and a big grin, "Hey sis, happy birthday."

"Did you set all this up?" Gabby questioned, her eyes flitting between the both of us.

I shrugged, "It was your brother's idea."

Gabby smiles at Antonio and hugs him, "Well thank you Antonio, I guess there are perks to having a big brother after all."

He nudges her arm, "Hey... don't make me tell any embarrassing stories of you tonight."

Gabby's eyes widen and she holds her hands up in defeat, "Okay, okay..."

Eva and Diego along with their mother, Laura, bound up to Gabby and hug at her legs tightly, yelping 'Happy birthday Aunt Gabby!'

"Awh guys," Gabby smiles and kneels down to their height, "Thank you so much. Wow, you guys look great!" She compliments Diego's jeans and shirt and Eva's purple dress.

"Thank you!" Diego giggles with a toothy grin, "Gabby, Daddy told me that you were getting very old now..."

Gabby looks up at her brother with narrow eyes as he chuckles sheepishly and I laugh loudly, "Well," Gabby says shortly turning back to her nephew, "You're daddy is so much older than me so he'd know."

Before we head over to the guys Gabby pulls me aside and kisses me excitedly, "Thank you, this is so great baby."

I chuckle, "I'm just glad that Shay didn't spill. She found out yesterday."

Gabby nods with understanding, "Keeping a secret for a day is a challenge in itself for Shay."

"Come on," I take her hand and lead her towards everyone, "Let's go see the guys before I lose whatever will power I have tonight to not take you somewhere and ravish you," I murmur into her ear just as we reach everyone from 51 and watch as her cheeks flush a delightful colour of pink.

"There she is! Come here girl!" Cruz exclaims with a beer in hand as he one-armed hugged Gabby, who laughed into his shoulder.

Gabby moved around the group as everyone hugged her and wished her 'happy birthday' laughing as Shay approached with two glasses of a bright pink _something _drink that not even she knew the contents of, shoving it into Gabby's hand.

I watched as Gabby reached Erin and everyone from 21, greeting them and laughing over something the guy called Ruzek said. She seemed really comfortable with them and I had to remember that she'd known these people for a long time, ever since Antonio started working Intelligence. Visiting Antonio meant visiting these people too.

Kelly quickly approached and handed me my second beer, "I think we did a pretty good job," he compliments, gesturing to the dimly lit room covered in decorations with a friend of Shay's as DJ. I spotted Otis and Mouch over at the food table, and a couple of the others by the bar. The rest, concluding of Chief, Donna, Clarke and Herrmann and Cindy, sat at one of large circular tables.

"We did," I nod to him, knocking back the beer, "She's really enjoying having everyone she loves in one room."

My eyes instinctively follow Gabby as she makes her way around the room saying Hello and Thank you to everyone who came, even when Kelly and I sat at the 51 table with a few of the PD guys who didn't want to dance with Erin and Shay. Gabby was speaking to a friend she knew from when she took her EMT classes and I couldn't help but be captivated by her outstanding beauty.

She was wearing a deep purple fitted dress that ended just above her knee, showing off her incredible curves and her wonderful mocha skin. She spent, as usual, nearly twenty minutes looking for the pair of black heels that matched her dress _perfectly, _she'd protested when I suggested another pair. Her brown hair was curled into loose waves around her head brushing against her shoulders and she'd made her eyes look even bigger and smoky with dark make-up. Gabby was absolutely stunning and on the way over I'd struggled to keep my hands off her.

"Casey!...Casey!"

I didn't hear anyone calling me until I felt Kelly's big arrogant hand smack me on the back of my head. I jumped and snapped my head around to the table, noticing that everyone was watching me.

"What the hell was that for?!" I blurt out automatically at Kelly, who was smirking at me.

"Chief was trying to talk to you but you were too busy drooling over Gabby," he answers back smugly.

I feel my cheeks heat and turn to Chief, "Yeah Chief?"

Everyone laughs at my blatant attempt to try to distract them. The whole table, CFD and PD, soon erupt into many voices talking effortlessly over anything and everything. I watch as Gabby waves off Antonio, Laura and the kids after Eva and Diego had gotten so tired that they were falling asleep. Gabby then makes her way back over to our table, taking another _something _cocktail from Shay.

"Dance?" Shay suggested with wiggling brows.

Gabby shook her head, "I'm totally not drunk enough for what you have in mind Leslie Elizabeth Shay," she drawls as she drops down into my lap, our hands instinctively interlocking.

"Come on, we've got to celebrate the beginning of you're twenty-fifth year with a bang!" Shay yells as she pokes Gabby's leg.

Gabby groans, "Please don't remind me of my age... Five more years to thirty."

"Damn," I hear Herrmann grumble, "I wish I was turning twenty-five!"

"But instead you're turning seventy-five!" Chief chuckled with his booming laugh, causing the majority of us to burst into a fit of laughter because it was so unlike Chief to crack a joke like that.

"Yeah yeah granddad!" Herrmann retorted rolling his eyes as he took a long gulp of his drink.

Another two _something _drinks from Shay and Gabby had gotten up to dance with her. Soon followed Cruz, Mills, Otis, Atwater, Ruzek and Halstead, all now too drunk to care about anything. Taking no one by surprise Gabby and Shay had soon forgotten about the humble dance of swaying their hips and quickly got their drunken bodies all tangled together. The table of not so drunk people, Kelly, Erin, Chief and Donna, Herrmann and Cindy, Clarke, Mouch, Platt, Burgess, Voight, Olinksy and I, sat and watched the very drunk people dance, whilst talking too.

Then I watched as Erin tapped Kelly's hand and his face lit up with recognition, so he dug into his pocket and then produced a sheet of paper, which he handed to me. I gave him a confused look but he encouraged me to open it.

"A hotel room for tonight? Here?" I questioned upon reading the words on the paper, looking up at him.

"Well duh," Kelly chuckled, "It's for you and Gabs, from me and Shay for her birthday. We know how much you guys like each other's company," his brows waggled suggestively, "And we guessed that you'd like your space tonight."

"Thanks Kelly," I smiled back him appreciatively, "She'll love this."

Kelly snorted loudly and threw his head back in laughter, "Oh I know she will!"

Erin rolled her eyes and swatted his chest on my behalf, "Thanks Erin, I wouldn't have been so light-handed."

Soon after Gabby bounded up towards us, how she managed that in those heels I'll never know, with her one hand on her hip and the other holding an almost empty glass, "I think it's time you guys got up and danced."

"No way," Chief said, shaking his head at her.

"Okay," she said and thought for a moment before saying, "Everyone under the age of thirty..."

"Gabs," Clarke said, "_You _don't even like to dance."

She rolled her eyes, "And yet I am. Come on, you won't be young forever you know."

Kelly quickly jumped up from his seat, wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her squealing body to the dance floor, yelling, "I'm gonna be forever young Gabs!" And soon after watching Kelly get up and dance with everyone, this persuaded the rest of us 'under thirty's' to go join them.

"Well look who it is!" Shay grinned drunkenly as she wrapped an arm around my waist, "Go see you're darlin'!"

It was the first time I heard Shay say the word 'darlin'. Maybe the alcohol was bringing out her southern side.

I curled my arms around Gabby's waist and watched as she gazed up at me, "You really want to ravish me?"

I nod my head and smile wickedly at her, "I do... And guess what."

"What?"

"Kelly and Shay have booked us a room in this place for tonight..." I husk into her ear, hearing as she gasped quietly.

"There," she whispered deliciously, "You can wish me happy birthday properly."


End file.
